Dear Willie,
My parents have accepted that I am a homosexual but as I come from an Asian culture, they still want to arrange a marriage for me. They have selected an older man from the East who is not very attractive, though he is well educated and wealthy. They think I would make a good wife for him but I would much rather have a younger, more handsome man, even if he was not as wealthy or educated. As a Gaysian man I think they should take my needs into account and not force me into this unnatural relationship. Do you know any hot, young, gay, Asian men?
Rajiv, Mumbai
Dear Rajiv,
I’m afraid not, young man, as your hot, young, gay, Asian man is as rare around these parts as anaconda trousers. I think you should be grateful that your parents have accepted your sexual leanings and might make some effort in approaching their cultural demands. Why not meet this older chap before making a decision about him. You might find that wealthy, well educated men are not as undesirable as you might think, especially if they take you to fancy restaurants for spicy curries, introduce you to Bollywood stars and buy you a nice sparkly sari.
Willie