Chapter 9 –A glass of beer!
My adjustment problems continued with my on-site and when I became fully adjusted to it, the on-site itself had become boring for me. It had been just a month, but I was already missing my India. I was missing the Indian Spices, my family, my friends and especially my lady love back in India.
The distance had in fact made us come closer to each other. Love was blossoming around us. Being away from family and friends, I used to spend a lot of time talking with Trisha. The credit for also goes to my company paid on-site phone bills which inspired me to talk to her more and more.
Trisha and her parents were eagerly waiting for my return so as to proceed with our marriage. Her parents didn’t want to lose the opportunity of grabbing a foreign returned groom like me. On the other hand, my parents were looking for better options for their smart on-site returned boy from US.
In India, on-site boys have always a mile edge advantage over the non-on-site boys. It doesn’t matter whether they were cutting grass in the US. They were cutting the US grass after all.
“Why are your parents not speaking with mine? Are they not interested in our marriage anymore?” asked Trisha in a hot voice
“No Trisha! That’s not the case. My parents will proceed only when I am back. Don’t worry! I will marry you and only you.”
“Hmm! There is one more thing. I need a favor from you. Can you please get an ‘XXX anti aging men’s cream’ for Abhishek? He thinks he looks a bit old now days and getting a wife would be difficult for him.”
“Wife for him? …(he he) …I suggest that he should get a job first.”
“He will surely get a job or do some business. But he has recently realized that he doesn’t look good in interviews. Properly, that’s why he is rejected so often. You see, he really needs that cream to look good.”
Hmm! So now this guy now feels that his looks are his problem. Why does he always find external excuses? Sometimes he finds that the company is not doing well. At other times he decides the job to be not suitable for him. And this time the guy has a problem with his looks. Can’t he just improve his knowledge and work skills to get the job?
“Ok Trisha! I will find out about that cream.”
And so I bought an XXX Anti-aging men’s cream for my ‘would be’ brother-in-law. This was the story of my first on-site gift but as the days went by, I was stuck in a lot of gifting problems.
Being the first on-siter form our dynasty, I had to carry an extra load for each of my family and friends. I bought beauty products for my ‘not so young’ aunts, electronic shavers for all parts except ‘beard, mustaches and head’ for my uncles and I bought female attracting pheromones (perfumes) for my girlfriends friends. Lastly, I had to pick up a number of video games for my nephews and nieces in India.
The gift pileup went on. And before I could realize, the weight of the gifts was overshooting the weight of my own stuff. I had overwhelmingly surpassed the return flight weight limit. Paying a bit extra for the luggage was ok with me. But the extra luggage had become many times the normal limit now. I couldn’t afford to pay so much for the luggage.
I used to wonder, what others do to carry their extra load back home. One day I was lost in these thoughts and walking down when I struck an Indian fellow in the middle of the road. Being from a hot country, the guy got hot quickly.
“I am Sorry”
“What the hell! You Indian! Can’t you see where you are going? Oh! It’s you Rohit. How are you doing man? ”
The guy was none other than Kartik. To refresh your memory, he was the same guy who wanted to share my room the first day. I tried to escape him quickly.
“Hi Kartik!! It’s nice to see you too. But my doctor has extended my isolation period by a month. So you still can’t stay with me.”
“Oh!! Don’t worry about that Rohit. You will be fine. Just take care of yourself. I am going back to India next week.”
“Oh Really! That’s Great!”
“Yup! It’s sad, isn’t it? God knows when I will find my next on-site? This time I couldn’t save enough. Anyways, I was thinking about spending some time with you. If you are free, will you like to come with me for a drink?”
“Drink? Well! I was going to buy a pizza and I don’t have much cash”
“Oh! That’s not a problem. The drinks are from my side then. C’mon Rohit! There a pretty place nearby.”
Surely, Kartik was up to something. Otherwise, why would a guy sharing an apartment with six others agree to spend on me? I could have simply refused to get out of the situation. But somehow, the pleasures of watching Kartik spend some dollars kept me going.
We went to a nearby pub. Kartik ordered some snacks and two glasses of beer. I was surprised to find him extremely gentle and polite that day. We spoke about our on-site experience and the places we had visited in the US. As we drank, the discussions meandered from ‘who is who in your family’ to the latest political situation in India. But then, he suddenly took a swift turn towards his problem of overweight baggage.
“My dear Rohit, I need a little favor from you. I had bought some stuff for my family and my baggage has gone a bit overweight. I was thinking, if you could carry a little of my extra weight.”
(Gulp)… (Glup)… I quickly finished my glass of beer. Understanding his real motive, I tried to avert the imminent disaster.
“Yes, Kartik! I would have carried them with pleasure. But you see I am already overloaded with things. As this is my first on-site, I had to buy many stuff for my family and friends.”
“That’s the reason, I am not telling you to carry it all. You just carry a little of my extra load. I will send the rest with some other guy. You see! We had such a great time today. We drank beer together. I must admit that you have become a special friend to me today. Won’t you please adjust your friend’s load with yours?”
It never occurred to me that the cost of a beer could be so high. On one hand, I could have simply refused to accept his extra load. On the other, there were the moral obligations of the beer and the guy’s super influence in my office. I had no choice but to accept his extra load. But how much of extra load could be sufficient for me?
“No! I can’t carry so much.” I cried, when we he took me to his place
“C’mon man! It can easily fit into your luggage. Just open your suitcase and squeeze your stuffs to make room for this. Now, take this and that and that one too.”
“What is this stuff? Why do you want me to carry this?”
“Oh! That one! That’s a hair-straighter for my girlfriend’s friend’s boyfriend. You better carry that carefully or my girlfriend will kill me.”
“And what is that?”
“That’s a surprise gift for my girlfriend. It is a weight reducing food for her dog. You don’t get these stuffs in India. She will mix it with the normal dog food to balance the weight of her dog”
The guy was trying to dispatch all his useless gifts through me. If something had happened to these expensive gifts, the blame would fall on me. In spite of his ‘beer’ pressures, I had to refuse Kartik at some point. And so I decided to surrender.
“That’s enough Kartik. I will carry only these three gifts. I have a lot of stuff of my own”
“That’s it! But that’s very less Rohit. You see, we had such nice time together. My friend! Won’t you help me in taking my extra load back home?”
“I wish I could help you Kartik, but I can’t. I just don’t have any space left for your things.”
“Fine man! I will find someone else to carry the rest. (Beer diplomacy)”
That day, I learned an important lesson for life. If you want an Indian to do things for you then first make the guy drink beer with you!
After my own experience with Kartik, I learned the technique quickly. I started taking a new guy for beer every day. In about a week’s time all my loading issues were gone. I had settled everything with the first time Onsiters.
Why first time on-siters? Because you see, the experienced ones didn’t come for a glass of beer with me.