Lance Manion is not my real name. It is a nom de plume, which is French for “Too embarrassed to use a real name.” I have a real life that has nothing to do with writing. A life that would be negatively impacted if anyone I actually knew read what I write as Lance Manion.
The book was originally going to be called Short Pointless (?) Stories for Your Long Pointless (?) Trip. The question marks being there to show that everything is a matter of context, whether it be why I write these dumb things or why you get out of bed in the morning. I changed it because I thought I would wait until you’ve read a few of them before realizing your terrible mistake.
Who is my ideal reader? If I had to put a finger on it, I’d say an ex-FBI agent who was kicked out of the bureau because they kept sending things into the crime lab for analysis that had nothing to do with any active cases. Things they found under their seat at the theater, for example.
Smart, but not as smart as they think they are. Normal on the outside but tremendously odd inside. If life is indeed a box of chocolates, then they definitely have a nut lurking within.
But back to me (perhaps my favorite sentence of all time). I used to classify my writing as humor but only about half of these stories even attempt to be funny. The other half aim to show just how funny life isn’t. It was only after reviewing things that I realized how many revolved around bad ideas and people ill-equipped for success.
Like me.
Don’t worry; I don’t want to be famous. I don’t even want to be known. I write to get all the dumb ideas out of my brain. Like an exorcism of sorts. I don’t care what anyone thinks about them.
Having said that, I sincerely hope you find some of them interesting.