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When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to rejoice, smile and laugh. My love life began with a bang when I fell in love at first sight of My Pretty Lotus. We clicked, smiled, laughed, walked and talked. Our married life led us to a perfect family life of over half a century but as usual, that passionate route of love and lustre had to come to an end. That was what nature had in stall for us.
A sad thing in life is when you meet and love someone very dearly and who begins to mean a lot to you. Then suddenly you find out after an enjoyable period of living together for over half a century that it was never meant to be forever. Your beloved passes away and you are left alone to face the new life alone. So what do you do? You accept the natural law or revolt. I did neither. I healed myself.
Lament, grieve, become devastated and go berserk with pain and sorrow of loneliness or you just have to let go. I had no choice but I had to go on living. The hardship, sadness and inability to tolerate the loss cannot be fully understood by anyone but you yourself.
These presentations have been designed to heal my sufferings and these have assisted me to overcome my sorrows somewhat but I have a long way to go to fully recover. It is over thirty six months of loneliness but I may not be able to succeed until I join My Pretty Lotus in the next life. Until then I was told to keep living, loving and thinking of her. That is what I am doing.
In my life, I never went for looks, they can deceive. I did not go for wealth because I knew that even that fades away gradually. I went for someone who made me
smile, laugh and enjoy my life to the fullest and it took only such pleasant moments to make all my dark days come alive and seem bright.
We knew that a careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck our life but we were certain that timely and words of wisdom may level stress and a loving word may heal and bless us. It was with these loving sentiments that we loved, lived, laughed and got lost in our world of romance and we never had any chance to either look back or think about our future. However, when My Pretty Lotus lost her battle with her life I was totally devastated and did not know what to nurture.
Life for the last thirty-six months has been very difficult, lonely and laborious but my Saroj had told me that if something happened to her I should continue to live by celebrating the fond memories that she had left behind. That is what I have been doing and will continue to do. My creativity will keep me busy and keep me attached to her as usual.
I am not going to stop with my creativity for my beloved because this activity is my way of feeling attached to her and heal myself. Whatever, the rest of the world, the family members, relatives and the society think, I really do not have to care and respond. Like my beloved wife I have always been a person of my own words, actions, thoughts, character and heart and there is no reason why I should change. Life should go on with the blessing of the Lord Almighty. March 14th 2016.
