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Reflections of a Beautiful Family
Life
The sun rose above the hills in my
village
As the joy of my heart sped for more
mileage
Rays of warmth and love rose high and
well
When My Pretty Lotus came in home to
dwell
Together we saw fresh dew upon the
grass
Birds chirped, butterflies flew to over
pass
I watched her gently moving around in
the day
My love got deeper and deeper living
everyday
I enjoyed the stillness and calm for so
long
Watching as she smiled and sang a
song
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She brought me fame and wealth
always
Like a slow flowing traffic of the
highways
My heart and soul kept flowing with a
lot of joy
I smiled and I quietly reflected all to
enjoy
I was handed a sweet princess to give
care
A sweet princess for my love life to
share
I took a vow to myself to be her
charming prince
She enriched my life and let me
convince
Love her and always cherish her was
the way
Until my last breath and until my last
day
I kept all my vows and lived a full family
life
I let her reign as my queen and be my
wife
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When she was gone, I made a promise
in my mind
I’ll treasure all fond memories that I can
possibly find
Fifteen months have gone by but I’m
still grieving
My love’s like war it was easy to begin
but never ending
I’ve fond reflections of all those
beautiful moments
I’ve created many poems but have no
further comments.
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WHO WAS SHE?
Saroj Kumari Devi was born on 15th
August 1940 in Nasinu in Fiji and her
parents Chandar Pal Sharma and Lila
Wati Singh bestowed her with a name
that meant pretty Lotus. Saroj received
her initial formative, primary and
secondary education at the Dudley
House in Toorak Suva as a boader and
her initial tertiary education was
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conducted at the Fiji Advanced College
of Education and then at the
University of the South Pacific. She
completed her other graduate courses
at the Brisbane Advanced College of
Education and Queensland University
of Technology. (Cert Ed., B.Ed., Dip
Ed. and B.T.)
Saroj was professionally prepared as a
teacher and she taught successfully at
various primary, seconday and tertiary
instituions of Fiji and Australia from
1960 to 2002. In her forty-two years of
active participation in educational
work force, she held various positions
of responsibility. She was a Teacher,
Assistant Head Teacher, Head of
Department,
Lecturer,
Education
Broadcasts
Officer
and
Senior
Lecturer.
Saroj was married on 19th January
1964 to Ram Lakhan Prasad, her
College Mate, and they together
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developed a pleasant family life with
four married children and eight grand
children.
My Saroj came to me as a radiant star
of my life and my sky of life got
brighter and brighter every day. My
life became a chain of miracles that
gave me multiple glimpses of Heaven.
In simple terms, we two were just right
for each other with our deep love and
strong abiding.
I never called myself a saint but I was
a loyal, faithful and honourable
husband to my wife who I always
defended, honoured and treasured.
She filled me with eternal joy and
while my life was hers, her life was
mine. She made me like her life, she
liked my life, and so we liked the way
one day flawed into the next.
We felt that there was nothing wrong
in enjoying life if we were able to do
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so. The days of our life was happy, we
were content, our days used to be full,
pleasant, racing, gaming and loving
until I lost her forever. When she was
gone, I felt empty, tired and all alone
because not only she was a shining
light of my life but also because she
was an angel always ready to give and
never expect any reward.
My Saroj passed away on 14th March
2013 after a short illness and was
finally laid to rest at the Centenary
Memorial Gardens in Brisbane on 16th
March 2013. Some people mourn the
loss of their dear one for a year but my
pain and sorrow are so deep rooted
that they would last until I too move to
join her somewhere in the unknown.
How that warm sunny day had
irrevocally changed all my life is very
difficult to describe in words. I could
never sustain the pain of my tragic loss
then and have found that that deep-
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seated pain would never go away. It
got engrained into my bone. I have
still not been able to fully understand
and fatham whether it was my loss, my
guilt, the natural injustice, my anger,
my pain or my fear that is keeping my
grief fresh. However, I have gathered
that one has to deal with what one
must.
There is no safe place to hide from
desolation that is burrowed in the
deepest part of your heart. One part of
me said that the past was done and
over, only my pain and hatred of
loosing my beloved remained with
endless regrets and I had many
questions with no easy answers.
One of the greatest mistakes the
people sympathising with me made
after my loss was to say that time was
natures’s way of healing and keeping
everything from happening to my
disadvantage but they did not know
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that life had too many darker corners
where emotions and sorrows could
safely hide and torture you. So I was
meant to look hale and hearty after
burying the hatchet so to speak. How
could I be suddenly infused with
icewater in my veins and forget my
pain, sorrow, loneliness, troubles,
threats and weaknesses?
I was supposed to take one look at my
future and forget my past to build my
present but I did not and could not
gather enough strength to change so
drastically. So I decided to detach all
physical relationship and learn to live
with the soul of my Pretty Lotus for
the rest of my life. I did not want to
forget anything, especially all the fond
memories of over half a century of
togetherness. I chose to awaken my
creative skills and senses to poetically
express my feelings.
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Over the last fifteen months, I have
done just that and intend to continue
doing so to keep myself emotionally
attached to the soul of my beloved
wife. I see that there is nothing absurd
about this human conduct because my
wounds have neither festered nor
healed and I cannot leave my past in
the path where it all happened.
Now I think I have mastered a special
gift and that is that I have the ability to
see things as they really are. I thank
my beloved wife for this sewa change
in me. My family life that was my
charm is no more with the strong
pillar of strength that has gone forever
but I am not going to let her down and
give up. I shall overcome, endure and
then join my Pretty Lotus when the
time comes.
She would be remembered for many of
her super human qualities such as her
quality of mercy, her extreme
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kindness, unconditional, instinctual
and realistic love and the elements of
share and tender loving care.
Our souls were one, Saroj and I, and
we both knew it. From the beginning
of our love life, we recognized that we
were part of each other and parting
was not in our agenda but when it did
happen, I was torn and broken. My
heart seems to collapse and my body
became numb but some how or the
other I kept moving like a corpse.
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Creativity Continues…