Networking. For some, a fear inducing melee of half drunk, over-talkative salespeople vying for each other’s attention. For others, an absolutely vital revenue producing and ENJOYABLE activity. No matter which camp you are from, one thing is clear. Networking, if done correctly, produces results. The problem is, all too often, folks DON’T do it correctly. That is why we’re here.
You see, we used to be in that first camp -- the folks afraid of the event. At times, we were even the ones producing the fear for others. We’ve made our mistakes. But, we now know what works, and simply want to pass that on to others. If we had had someone in our corner teaching us what to do at these events from the beginning, we wouldn’t have wasted countless hours, doing the wrong things. Using the trial-and-error method, along with some fantastic wisdom from some of the referral and relationship experts of our day (included in the resource section) we have developed what we consider to be THE go-to guide for anyone who is interested in becoming more effective at networking events.
Why do we attend networking events?TO MAKE AND BEGIN CULTIVATING MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL REFERRAL RELATIONSHIPS.
Ok, we may have lost a few of you there. I know some were thinking TO MAKE SALES, or TO MEET PEOPLE. Ok, all of these things can and DO happen at networking events, but the bottom line is, the people in that room can be a part of your team IF YOU recruit them the right way. Selling to them the first time you meet them, annoying them with meaningless chatter, or offending them with your lack of people skills won’t make it happen. Putting their needs first, showing them you care, and having a Go-Giver attitude will. So sit back, relax, and read through the list of the 10 Mistakes We Make at Networking Events and How to Avoid Them. Memorize it, take it with you to events. If you master this list and use the principles we teach you, you WILL increase the amount of referrals you get.
Your partners in Referral Mastery,Glenn K. Garnes Mac Cassity
let’s say it’s your chamber of commerce’s annual gala. Before you stand two hundred well-to
do, connected, and most importantly, strangers. What do you have in your mind when you see
all of those people? How do you view them as it relates to your business? Those that tend to
see all of the attendees as nothing more than dollar signs ruin it for the rest of us who are truly
interested in meeting professionals and developing mutually beneficial referral relationships.
How many times have you heard “You absolutely MUST try my product!”, or “I can help ALL of
your clients, call me." These kinds of people are more interested in shoving their business card
down your throat before even getting to know your last name, much less what it is that's
important to you. They prey on the folks who attend these events. If they walk away with a sale, they consider it a success, no matter that most were turned off by their approach and in
the future will do what they can to avoid them. This is NOT why we attend networking events,
of course. This results in Mistake #1, We misunderstand the purpose of networking.
As we said in the introduction, the goal of networking is to MAKE AND BEGIN
CULTIVATING MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL REFERRAL RELATIONSHIPS. That’s not to say that
someone won’t have another immediate purpose, i.e., finding a speaker for an upcoming event,
locating a sponsor, or, if the offer is real and the timing is critical, a sale may well occur. But,
our primary purpose is and should be relationship building. What you want to do is not view
everyone in the room as merely a dollar sign, but rather, as potential long term relationships
and a source of possibly "endless referrals" for your business. If you were to view fellow
networkers with the bigger picture in mind, you might just treat them with a little more
respect. Realize that if treated the right way, instead of making 200 SALES your goal (if there
were 200 attendees) you would make developing 200 referral sources your goal. Which would
you rather have: 200 sales or 200 individuals sending you 5-10 referrals a year?
Sure, it makes sense, but look around the room at the next event you attend, You will
see someone looking back at you as if you were that dollar sign. If you DON’T see that person, that person could be you…now STOP THAT!
buddy. You go over and talk to him/her and jump right into the swing of things. “How’re the
kids, the job, did you watch The Apprentice last night…blah blah blah.” A couple of drinks later,
a bite of food or two, another friend shows up, then another. The next thing you know, you are
having a ball! What a great event, right? WRONG! This is Mistake #2, We only hang out with
When we discuss this one at seminars, we hear the same things over and over again.
People want to FIGHT for their right to hang out with their friends at networking events. They
are extremely adamant that this makes sense as they are trying to deepen those relationships.
Well, we say this, “If you knew ‘em going in, you will know ‘em going out." As long as you didn’t
ruin the friendship by doing something stupid, it will be intact as well. Yes, you want your
friends to still like you and send you referrals, but chances are, they already do. You can do
whatever you choose to at these events, but if you want to increase the referrals you get, you
must follow these rules. There IS a way to respect your friendships AND get more referrals at
the same time for both you and your friends, so try this at your next event. When you are at a
networking event, and you see some friends you know, say this: “Hey, great to see you John.
Look, don’t be offended if I take off to meet other folks. You see, since we already know each
other, I want to go and meet some of the other people here and see if I can identify those
individuals who might be good power partners or referral sources for you. If you do the same for me, maybe we can meet back here at the end of the event and compare notes.” See what
you just did? You were respectful to your friend, explained what you were doing and how it
would benefit him, and then you sent him out into the crowd to work for you! Now THAT is
leverage. Your friend is going to know you care about him even if you only spent about 30
seconds talking, and in turn, he is going to identify good referral sources for you as well. It’s
really that simple.
We have found that this technique does two things very effectively. Number one, it
keeps you on task as to your true intended purpose and two, it gets your friends ON task in the
first place. Remember, at most networking events, folks are either trying to sell everyone they
meet, or they are merely socializing. There are usually very few as savvy as you will be and this
practice probably just reminded your friend why he/she is there in the first place. Consider how productive the events you attended would be if everyone quit making Mistake #2.
This mistake, like some of the others, seems obvious, but just about everyone commits
this error. The reality is, everyone loves to talk about their favorite subject: Themselves. We
want you to recognize this mistake before you make it and to give you some tips on how to
avoid it.
The last thing people really want to hear when they first meet you is your life story or
why your company/product/service is the best and how it will change their life. People don't
immediately want to hear why your customer service process is superior and that if they did
business with you, you would make it an experience they wouldn’t soon forget. We all have been guilty of this one in the past. Almost EVERYONE has until they train themselves the right
way. It is so easy to launch into your sales pitch when someone asks, “What do you do.” Sure, if
someone asks what you do, you answer. But keep it short and sweet. Then turn the dialogue
back to them. We will address how to answer the question “What do you do?” in a concise and
meaningful way later when we tackle Mistake #4. For now, we will focus on trying not to talk
so much about ourselves.
The way to avoid this mistake is simple, get the other person to talk about themselves. If
you do your job right, then this is what you will eventually start to hear over and over again,
“I’m sorry, I have been talking so much about what I do, but can you tell me again more about
what it is that YOU do?” Even THEN you don’t want to go into detail. We will help you define
your meaningful job description next, so once you have that, just restate it. Focus on THEM,
what is important to THEM, not what's important to you. If you can be respectful, develop
rapport, and start to build a relationship with this person and say AS FEW WORDS AS POSSIBLE,
you really will be ahead of the game.
If you have moved into a conversational mode, and you are talking freely about subjects
OTHER than your work, then you’ve REALLY made some progress. The talking too much rule
mainly applies to talking about yourself and your business, not necessarily talking in general.
We make this distinction because some people will take this too literally and show up at the
next event having taken a vow of silence. SHEEESH, you wouldn’t think we would have to explain this...we do.
If you are like most people, and I mean almost EVERYONE, you answer with a job title:
“Realtor.”
“Mortgage Broker.”
“Sales.”
BORING!!!!
If you want people to remember you, and what you do, you have to describe it in a way
that paints a vivid picture in their mind of what you do. How many people do you know who
“sell insurance?” If you attend networking events regularly, I’ll be you know a few. But how do
you refer to them? Probably as “that guy I know who sells insurance.” But how many people do
you know that, Spend time with clients helping them to identify risks that could prove financially
meaningful to a potential client or referral source than just “insurance agent.” There are 200
people in a room, and you have to make yourself stand out from the crowd without setting
yourself on fire. Chances are, there is someone else in the room who does exactly what you do.
I mean, unless you train one armed Brazilian wombats, the people you talk to will probably
know someone else who does what you do. But if you are able to paint a vivid picture in their mind of exactly what you do and why it is meaningful to the people you serve, they are much
more likely to find opportunities to make referrals to you.
Anyone can come up with this type of description of what they do, it just takes a little
thought and a hint of creativity. The key again is to describe exactly what you do in an
informative way that paints a picture in the listeners mind. Then follow the description up with
why that particular service is of value to the clients you serve. For example, when we are
networking locally in Maryland, or abroad, we could easily answer the question of what we do
by saying “marketing consultant." Instead, we might say something like, “we identify individuals
or businesses who are interested in having a large stream of income coming directly from
people who are sending them qualified referrals day in, day out, 365 days a year, and then we
teach them how to do it.” That does more to excite prospects we might meet than saying
“marketing consultants” wouldn't you agree?
As part of our more in-depth program, The Referral University Mastery Program, the
two of us will actually work with you personally via email to come up with several of these
meaningful and more importantly MEMORABLE descriptions to make certain that you get on and STAY on the minds of your referral sources.
of business cards filling your pockets? We have. It’s kinda scary to know that a whole family of
trees gave up their lives so that we could have 18 business cards from a Realtor named Bob.
(You see, Bob was so interested in telling everyone about what HE does that he forgot he
already met us earlier at the event…See Mistake #3).
So, there sits the stack of business cards on your desk, looming like a towering monster
staring at you day after day until FINALLY…you throw them away. Be honest! You know you
have done this; we certainly have, and it’s a shame. We met the right people, had the right
conversations, got their contact info, but we didn’t follow up. Why? Simple. Because of mistake
#5 We don’t have an effective follow up system. If we had a system to get back in touch with these people within days of the event, in a meaningful and memorable way, and it only took us
a few minutes, that would make life pretty simple AND productive, wouldn’t it? Those systems
exist, and we can show you how to use them. A system could be as simple as:
1. Get a business card
2. Send a greeting card
3. Schedule one on one meeting
4. Add to follow up newsletter campaign
Now, if the above contacts are meaningful and NOT just sales-based, you can help to
deepen your relationship with that person. If your materials are just sent to try to sell your
products, don’t even bother sending them. You are better off sending direct mail to people you
don’t know. We are talking about developing referral relationships here, not selling everyone
you meet…remember that.
Another key principle to note here is that proper follow up can be individual. What we
mean is, having an effective follow up system for you may be different than it is for someone
else. For example, based on the nature of our business, it would be impossible for us to follow
up with and schedule a one on one with every person we meet. Trying to do so would be futile
and there is no way we could truly give value to everyone. We do, however, regularly maintain
a group of 100-150 close, mutually beneficial referral relationships. This allows us plenty of time
to be able to add value to those individuals and get to know them each on a more personal
level. We are more likely to set up a one on one meeting with an individual or business we are looking to develop a referral relationship with than just to keep them at arms length with an
email or snail mail campaign. That doesn’t mean we don’t do some of this, we just try to
maximize our time by being a little more selective.
Not everyone you meet at a networking event will be a good fit to add to your network. For
instance, if you know 10 Realtors, it would be hard to add 10 more to your network and give
them all value. What we have done to be of service to the largest number of people is develop
a program that can teach anyone how to be more successful with respect to building and
developing mutually beneficial referral relationships. The Referral University Mastery Program
goes over in detail through audio, e-book workbook, AND monthly seminars exactly how you
can make these systems a part of your every day routine. From what to do to how to do it, we
go over it all. If this information is overwhelming, the Referral University Mastery Program can
help you tie it all together in a simple, easy to understand, effective system. If you want more
information about everything included in this program, visit our information page at www.RelationshipMarketing101.com.
really KEY people that are there. If you are standing in a room full of 150-200 people, shouldn’t
you meet the person who got them all there? Yes, you should. If you're not sure who that is,
look at the entrance . . . they’re usually standing near the door greeting people as they come in.
If a person has the influence to get that many people to a mixer, then who do you think they
could introduce you to? Meet the key, influential people at the events you attend, and offer to
help them in any way you can. Make a friend, show them value, and in turn, they will introduce you to their friends.
Introduce people you meet to others in a meaningful way and you WILL be remembered.
Oftentimes, we have found out later that the people we introduced became clients of each
other and some large deals ensued as a result. If you are the one that made that relationship
happen, you have made a meaningful impact on BOTH parties, perhaps for life.
Unfortunately, what happens all too often is someone will be standing alone at a
networking event. They are not involved in a conversation, yet no one pulls them in. It’s up to
THEM to make that entrance, and the folks who are a bit shy or not good at segues find this difficult and sometimes just walk away. The reason why is because of Mistake #7 We are not
into conversations. Make it a point to be a matchmaker for as many people as you possibly can,
while being respectful of their time and goals.
What we do when we go to an event, and you can too, is something that w