The Magic Bullet by Phil Basten, Jane Mark, Frank Sousa - HTML preview

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The Magic Bullet

This one has excellent potential but it is not direct enough. People do not like to be told they need to learn anything. :

 

This would be much stronger if it said...

 

Giblish - It's spoken Worldwide...

Now we have high curiosity value and it almost forces people to read on to find out what Giblish is. The fact that it has worldwide appeal arouses selfinterest. No one likes to feel they are out of the loop.

6. This will cure your empty wallet blues...

This also had excellent potential but it begs the question, what will cure my empty wallet blues? It may have enticed some people to read on purely out of curiosity, but it could have been stronger and pulled more responses if it had said something like...

GibLink...The Cure for your empty wallet blues...

 

This way we identify clearly the program and target 2 areas...

 

1. Self interest - It's the cure for lack of money (solves a potential problem) 2. Curiosity - People will want to know what GibLink is...

 

It also states clearly that GibLink is THE CURE, not a cure or this cure.

What I have done is to give you a few rules to consider when writing headlines or subject lines. But the important questions you need to ask first are…

1. Who is your target audience?
2. How can you best appeal to them?
3. How will you arouse their self-interest in a direct and concise way?

Do this and you can change the way your story ends...