End Backsliding Forever by Hero Transformation - HTML preview

Part Three: The Recipe for The Success Mindset

I want to give you a set of steps you can use to create a “positive mental filter,” to create a mindset that actually draws you into success, so you are “forward-sliding,” instead of backsliding.

Get Present

Presence is critical. If you want to have more success, you need to know where you are and what’s going on. Presence is also the pathway to getting in touch with that amazing inner core, to become fully aware of your self-worth, apart from whatever goals you are creating for yourself.

There are a lot of elements to presence. Learning and practicing presence, by itself, can often create the success you are looking for, the real fulfillment you want.

I recommend that you try out different techniques for finding presence and find those that work best for you. I’ll give you a simple exercise, which you will want to do for two to three minutes at least four times a day, to find presence and just relax and feel good about yourself.

Grounding Meditation

Sit quietly with your spine erect and your feet flat on the floor. Allow your eyes to close and just take a moment to notice the way you are right now. First, notice your breath. Is it fast, or slow? Is it deep, or shallow? Are you breathing into your chest, or all the way into your belly? Now as you notice your breath, allow the next breath to be a little slower, a little deeper. Allow yourself to breathe more into your belly. And allow the next breath to be a little slower, a litter deeper, a little more into your belly. And allow each breath to be slower, deeper and more into your belly than the one before until you are taking the slowest, deepest, most satisfying breath you have ever taken in your life.

Perfect.

Notice your feet on the floor, which is connected to the earth. Notice your connection to the ground, to the earth. Notice your butt and the back of your legs connected to the chair you are sitting on, which is connected to the earth. Feel that connection. Feel that you are being held by the earth. Allow yourself to settle in more deeply now.
That’s right.

Now notice the feelings and sensations in your body. Are there places of tension, or are you loose and relaxed? Are there places in your body that are numb, or is there feeling going all through every part of your body? And with each breath, bring more awareness to those places that are tense, those places that are lacking feeling, and allow your breath to unlock those places, to relax those places, to allow feeling to flow through those places. Keep going until your entire body is relaxed and filled with feeling.

Perfect.

Now notice your thoughts. Are they rapid or slow? Are they noisy, or quiet? And with each successive breath, notice your thoughts growing slower and more quiet until you begin to notice spaces between your thoughts.

And as you notice spaces between your thoughts, allow your awareness to focus on those spaces between thoughts. And as you allow your awareness to fill those spaces, notice how the gap between your thoughts grow wider and wider. With each successive breath, the gaps between your thoughts become wider until you can just be in that gap, that space between thoughts.

It feels like your thoughts are clouds in the sky, and you’re awareness is on the sky. Just be with that, and notice how good it feels, how whole and complete you feel. And allow your awareness to remain there in this space for as long as you feel is right for you, then return to where you are.

This is a simple and effective method of finding presence. Like anything else, finding presence requires practice. So practice presence as often as possible. It feels great, it’s relaxing, and it’s the foundation for creating the amazing change you want in your life.

Presence is about being in the moment, not being “in your head.” It is about being aware of what is going on and your place in it, with total objectivity. It’s about “what is.” If you want to get somewhere you need to know where you are – not a representation of where you are based on assumptions, limiting beliefs and faulty information. It means really being who you are and being where you are at in the world.

Acceptance and Self-Acceptance

Once you are aware of what is going on, and your place in all of it, you need to accept it. That doesn’t mean you have to like it, but you have to appreciate what is and be right with it. And you also need to appreciate and be right with yourself.

One of the critical aspects of acceptance is self-esteem. You need to recognize and value your worth as a human being and not let your situation determine your value. Whether you are right where you want to be in life, or way off track, that does not change who you are as a human being. And you can move from where you are at in life to where you want to go, and make dramatic changes, while all the time seeing yourself as infinitely valuable.

So acceptance, or appreciation, and self-acceptance, are in two parts. First, get right with what is and recognize the value. This involves paying attention and getting curious about the world around you. And second, really get to know yourself at a core level and appreciate your own worth.

Acceptance and appreciation, of the world and yourself, is about experiencing yourself and your reality with an open heart, free from judgment and predetermined beliefs. It’s about letting “what is” impact you as it is. In a sense, it’s really presence, but it’s about taking the next step and really staying with what is, without going into your old habits of interpretation and expectation.

Appreciation and Acceptance – Feeling Your World

As you go through your day, instead of looking at objects and giving them a description, just view your world as if you were touching it with your hands. If you’re looking at a car, imagine feeling it. Do this with everything in your world, and every person.

As you become more comfortable with the practice of feeling your world, go another step with the people in your world. Feel the people in your experience not only as if you were touching them, but allow yourself to feel their experience emotionally. What would it feel like to you being in their experience?

And remember, just as wherever you are at is perfectly fine, wherever other people are at is fine, too. This isn’t about pity or even empathy, it’s about allowing yourself to feel other people’s experiences, just as they are, with total objectivity – with acceptance and appreciation.

Make this practice a regular part of your experience. See how you can bring this way of perceiving the world more and more into your normal way of being. It feels nice, doesn’t it? Maybe it feels a little unnatural at first, but eventually you’ll feel very natural, more “alive,” because you are being more “alive” in your perceptions.

And your relationships with others will change. You are more connected with their reality, which makes you more in sync with people. Your connections will be richer and you’ll find you’re more attractive and interesting to women around you.

Deepening your presence and appreciation will also make you a MUCH better lover. You’ll be there with her, paying full attention, and really feeling her experience, which are qualities of a great lover.

But there is another part to acceptance that is even more important, and that is acceptance of yourself. In order to create those positive mental mindsets, you need to be able to feel and appreciate your own self-worth, completely separate from whatever success you are searching for. Your pathway to success is separate from your value as a person. When you recognize that, it makes it much easier to learn new skills, because they’re just that, skills. They’re not a reflection of you as a human being. So you can have fun while learning and not let it impact your self-esteem.

Discovering Your Worth

Go back to the meditation exercise. Spend some time in that place of presence and wholeness. And when you are there, take some time and feel into your essence, your value as a human being. Imagine you are in a place where you are completely free from any blame, worry, guilt, or any need to get anything right. This is a space of total freedom, just for you.

And while you are in that space, notice how you begin to feel that sense that… you are alright. Feel the sense that you can love and admire yourself, just as you are. And the more you feel into that, the more you feel that sense that you’re truly great, and you can feel that no matter what you’re doing or going through.

And as you practice this, day by day, it will become easier to access that selfworth, that essence, that permission to feel good no matter what. Keep practicing – you may have to really imagine the feeling at first, until you train yourself to have permission to feel great about yourself whatever the circumstances.

Another part of this, as you are doing this exercise, focus on something that you do that really makes you proud at a deep level. Everybody has something, and it does not have to be something that is impressive to anybody else, but it makes you feel proud of yourself – some quality, something you do. And really feel into that, really open up and allow yourself to feel that pride, that selfworth. Because this thing you are proud of at a deep level, that is a reflection of your essence, it is part of your truth.

Creating the New Image

 

Now you are ready to create a new positive image that you will move toward. Use the steps in Part Two to help guide you through this.

First, choose something you want to change. It must be something positive and tangible. Try and make it as specific as possible. What do you want to be doing? What skill or quality do you want? Or maybe it’s a bad habit that you would like to replace with a more empowering behavior. Start with something small, because part of this is learning the process, which is a skill in itself, so you don’t want to overwhelm yourself. Part of your goal will be to learn how to create this positive mindset.

Once you have found that quality, go through the grounding exercise for establishing presence. Once you are in that place of presence and stillness, create a picture of yourself as you are now.

Now, imagine that image has achieved what you are wanting, that image of you enjoying the success you want. See yourself having that success, feel yourself having that success. Notice the way you are behaving, what you are thinking, everything.

Now, the last piece is to add that emotional component, as we went through above. Focus on a powerfully positive experience and bring that image of you having that success you want, as clear and focused as possible in every way, as you experience that feeling.

Really sink it in, so every time you access this picture of you and your success, this feeling, this awesome experience, is coming up with it.

 

Releasing the Negative

As you are moving toward your goal, you will be going against long-held negative beliefs – about yourself, about other people, and about the way the world works. Your movement toward your goal will be giving you proof that these negative beliefs, which in many cases you have been simply accepting as true without any argument, are in fact false. Your progress will be giving you more and more evidence every day that the fears and doubts that have been holding you back are just your imagination.
This is going to bring up some intense feelings, old doubts and worries. You may even find yourself reliving old traumas. You need to release these, to let these trapped feelings and experiences go. You’ve trapped these experiences inside, holding them instead of letting them work their way through and be released.

This is where a lot of people get held up. They see releasing as something that’s incredibly difficult. It is actually not that difficult – in fact it takes less effort than holding onto the negative emotions and experiences, but it requires you to practice a new habit.

One way to think about releasing is to create a fist and hold it as tight as you can. Now, is it easier to hold your fist like this than it was to keep your hand open and relaxed? Of course not, this is taking effort. But over time, you will get used to the tension and will hold the fist. And you will find it actually takes conscious effort to “unlock” your fist.

So that is what you are doing, you are going in and “unlocking” these trapped emotions and experiences. In fact, if you imagine them as being held in, like something you are holding tightly in your fist, and use that analogy, this will help.

There are several methods for releasing, but the basic process is the same. You identify where you are holding onto something, you decide to let go, you let go and allow the emotion or experience to work its way through you. And after it finishes its course, it will go away and you will be free of that tension and “holding back” around that emotion.

So we will go through the basic recipe, and I encourage you to find techniques that work best for you, to use this as a guideline and continue your exploration. There are a lot of possibilities and techniques, this is just a basic model.

1. Identify the negativity that you’re holding onto. Can you identify the feeling? Try and be specific about the actual feeling you are holding back. Is it sadness? Is it anger? Is it fear? There’s some intense emotion that has caused you to “freeze up,” and it’s trapped in there. So take a minute to understand what it is.

2. Ask yourself it you are ready to let go of this emotion, to allow yourself to feel the emotion, knowing it will work its way through your system and everything will be okay.

3. If the response is yes, as that part if it will let go now.
4. If either answer is no, ask that part of you what it needs to let go now, and keep going through these steps until you get a yes.
5. Feel the emotion, allow it to flow through you. Feel the ride.
6. Keep feeling into this emotion, see if you can find joy in this feeling. Eventually it will dissipate.

As you keep practicing these steps, the releasing process will become easier until it feels natural, because it is natural – it’s natural for us to let these emotions run through us and not hold onto them out of fear we’ll be overwhelmed.

Affirming this Image

Keep feeling yourself getting closer and closer to your ideal image. Feel the new mindset, the new habit, pulling you closer and closer to your ideal. Know it’s happening and you’re making it happen.

Return to your original meditation and, in your state of presence, see yourself getting closer and closer to your vision. In this state, remind yourself you are getting closer and closer to your vision. And you are moving closer and closer. Feel how your mind is actually pulling you toward this goal. In this state, tell yourself that you are moving closer to your goal, that this image in your mind is filling up more and more of your reality.

There are a lot of ways to do affirmations, but the way to make them powerfully effective is to anchor them with a feeling. Actually feel yourself being pulled toward your goal as you visualize your goal coming closer and closer and you tell yourself you are becoming closer and closer to your goal. This is the difference between simply repeating a phrase and actually affirming at a deep level.

Keep Going

And finally, keep going. Keep focusing on your positive image. When you find yourself being pulled into the negative, redirect your focus to that positive image. Keep asking yourself how you are getting closer to this goal? How can you get closer to your goal? What can you do now to bring yourself closer to your goal? In what ways are you closer to your goal now than you were yesterday? Or a week ago? Or a month ago? How can you feel yourself moving closer to your goal, to having that vision fully in your reality?

Going Deeper

This is the basic recipe, the basic explanation of the process. I have intentionally made it logical and analytical, because I feel too often the “Law of Attraction” gets associated with supernatural spirituality. And I want to show people who may be skeptical of the Law of Attraction that this is all about you and your mind. This is about you taking responsibility for your own mind and your own thought processes.

This is not about you “wishing upon a star” and the magical “Law of Attraction Fairy” granting your wish. It is not some cosmic or supernatural force at work. This is about you consciously programming your unconscious mind to create the future you want for yourself. In the end, the only limit on your future is you, and the only one with the power to change that future is you. And you have the power, with this new understanding of how it works, and how you can make it work for you, to begin to reprogram your mind and create success.

There might be a spiritual component to the Law of Attraction, but more likely than not, what people are experiencing when they report that “the universe” brought things into their life is that their unconscious mind was aligned at such a level, and operating so effortlessly, that it seemed as if the person was not doing anything. It can feel like that, like it’s “just happening.” And that’s because the powerful unconscious mind, which operates without your conscious effort, is doing the work. But that does not make it magic, or some supernatural element, it is you operating at your best.

Is there also a greater cosmic element at play? Maybe there is. I actually do believe there is, but that is not the point of my writing. My intention is to show you that this kind of mental retraining – visualizations, affirmations, and the Law of Attraction, is all very a logical processes to help you perform at your best, to help your mind operate in synch. And it can be broken down and learned, like anything else.

This is a very basic explanation, and I encourage you to explore this more deeply. And I also want to encourage you to see this as just the beginning. It is actually possible to not just create a new habit, but actually create a powerful new identity that is aligned with your heart’s desire. And there are far deeper, more involved ways of making this happen.

So explore this, have fun with it. If you are ready to really “go deep” and make profound, lasting changes in your entire way of being, to take that leap, then you will want to get your hands on “The Phone Booth,” a one-of-a-kind system for total transformation. It takes these basic lessons and goes VERY deep, with tons of killer lessons and practices. Moreover, it not only cures you of “backsliding,” but gives you the tools to become the awesome man you want to be, from the inside out.

So go through the lessons here, then get over to www.herotransformation.com/PhoneBooth to get the “Jedi-level” stuff, if you have not done so already. And I will continue to bring you the resources to make those quantum jumps in your life. I am committed to guiding you to the success and fulfillment you want and deserve in your life.

Yours In Service,

 

Rhett Bise

 

www.HeroTransformation.com