to use even though they tell their
actions can change their future.
to do the same thing. Don’t forget to
children not to. This can be a
include: it is illegal! You don’t need to
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confess every single event from your
It’s also important for older siblings
your family physician, professional
past. Skip the details and explain
to set a good example. According to
counselors, and/or any of the sup-
honestly what attracted you to drugs, a 2011 report by CASA,58 teens who
port groups shown in the Resources
what you’ve since learned about the
believed their siblings have tried an
section at the back of this publication.
dangers of drugs, and why you want
illegal drug were
your child to avoid making the same
Online Environmental Risks
❯
More than five-and-a-half times as
mistake. Was your friend killed in an
likely to have used tobacco
In past generations, drugs were often
automobile accident after getting high
purchased from a “dealer on the
and leaving a party? Were you denied
❯
Almost three times as likely to
corner.” But today, youths can use the
your first job at a young age because
have used alcohol
Internet to buy drugs, learn how to use
you couldn’t pass a drug test? You
❯
Six-and-a-half times as likely to
and mix them to get high and can see
might say things like
have used marijuana
what to expect from the experience.
❯ “I tried smoking pot to fit in. Now
They can even view photos and videos
we know more about the dan-
Genetics
of other people actually using drugs.
gers of drugs than we did then.
If substance abuse is a persistent
All of that is possible online through
If I could do things over, I never
generational problem in your fam-
social networking.
would have tried it. I hope you
ily, explain to your children that they
don’t either.”
may have inherited genes that put
“Social networking” simply means
interacting with others on the
❯ “I’m not proud of my mistakes,
them at a higher risk of becoming
Internet—either on a computer or
and it’s hard for me to admit that
addicted to alcohol or drugs. Using
I did try drugs. I’m glad you are
the example of a family member—
with a “smartphone” (a smartphone
smart enough not to make the
or yourself—to illustrate why your
is a cell phone that can connect to
same mistakes I made.”
children should be careful about try-
the Internet). It most often occurs on
ing alcohol or drugs makes it easier
websites that host blogs, chat rooms,
❯ “I used drugs because I was
for them to understand because it
or forums, but also on websites where
bored, but it seemed like I wanted
involves someone they know, and they people post photos and videos. Some
to do them more and more. I was
of the best-known social networking
terrified of getting addicted to
have likely witnessed troublesome
sites today are Facebook, Twitter,
them, so I got into a drug abuse
issues firsthand. And if the abuser
treatment program that helped me still lives in the home, get help from
MySpace, LinkedIn, and YouTube.
quit, but it was very hard. I’ve also
relapsed a few times … I hope you
aren’t ever in that situation.”
❯ “I started drinking and doing
drugs when I was young, and I
missed a big part of growing up.
I love you too much to watch you
set yourself on the same path.”
❯
“It was illegal then just like it is
now, and there are serious conse-
quences for getting caught. I would
hate for you to ruin your future by
doing something illegal.”
If you are currently smoking
marijuana or using other illegal drugs,
Monitor what your children do
your child will likely follow in your
footsteps. As a parent, your own use
online by becoming acquainted
affects your child’s sense of acceptable
behavior. Remember, you are an
with the websites they visit.
important role model!
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Chances are good that your child
one-third of parents whose teen has
survey on substance abuse reveals
already has an account on at least
a social networking page actually
that cyberbullied teens are more than
one of those social networking sites.
monitor it.60 Clearly this means that
twice as likely to smoke, drink, and use
Should you be concerned? Yes! The
most parents do not.
marijuana. Even more alarming is that
2011 CASA survey revealed that,
The Internet is a tremendous resource
some kids ultimately kill themselves
compared to teens who, in a typical
that has changed the world, and it can
because they are embarrassed about
day, do not spend time on a social
provide positive ways for teens to learn the chronic bullying and feel helpless networking site, those who do are
about the dangers of drug abuse. How
to stop it. Caution your children not
❯
Five times as likely to use tobacco
can you ensure that your children use
to post secrets, photos, or anything
that might be embarrassing online
❯
Three times as likely to use alcohol online privileges wisely and avoid
inappropriate drug-related material?
that can later be used against them,
❯
Twice as likely to use marijuana
and encourage your children to report
1. Monitor what your children do
Also alarming is that half of the teens
cyberbullying—whether it is happening
online by becoming acquainted
who spend time on social networking
to them or to someone they know.
with the websites they visit.
sites have seen pictures of kids drunk,
Bottom line: social networking won’t
passed out, or using drugs on these
2. Know what your children are
“make” your children use drugs. But
sites.59 That is a lot of visual temptation
saying on their smartphones
spending too much time on social
at a young age!
and in chat rooms and instant
networking sites may increase the
messages. Kids are speaking
Unfortunately, most parents are not
likelihood that they will.
in an abbreviated language
concerned about the risks of social
that evolves, so stay aware of
Other Environmental
networking. In fact, only about
new lingo. At the time of this
Influences
publication, for example
While not interactive like social media,
❯ DOC means Drug of Choice.
the power of television on young
❯ PAL means Parents
people is worth mentioning.
Are Listening.
The same CASA survey that asked
teens about social networking also
❯ P911 means Parent Alert.
asked about whether, in a typical week,
❯ The number 420 is
they watched reality shows like Jersey
code for marijuana.
Shore, Teen Mom, 16 and Pregnant, or any
❯ KPC means Keeping
teen dramas like Skins or Gossip Girl. A
Parents Clueless.
third of all teens (46 percent of girls and
19 percent of boys) watch “suggestive
3. Watch credit card and bank
teen programming,” and the survey
statements for online purchases
says those that do are likelier to use
that may indicate your child is
tobacco, alcohol, and marijuana.
buying drugs on the Internet.
Television shows and characters
Another sad trend to come from social change from year to year. The ones
networking sites is cyberbullying,
mentioned here were popular at the
which is a widespread problem that
time this publication was written—
causes serious and lasting harm.
so stay involved by monitoring the
Cyberbullying includes sending
programs your children watch, even
hurtful, rude, or mean text messages;
if that simply means sitting and
spreading rumors or lies about others
watching the show(s) with them.
by e-mail or on social networking
You may not like the characters
sites; and creating websites, videos, or
or the program, but the plot and
social media profiles that embarrass,
story lines can provide great ways
humiliate, or make fun of others.
to start conversations with your
More than 4.5 million kids have been
kids about what is going on in their
cyberbullied, and the 2011 CASA
lives. At the very least, you will
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beyond just getting together for meals,
One of the best
as mentioned in Myth #3.
protective factors you
❯
Juggle your schedule so that you
can provide is a strong
can spend regular one-on-one time
parent-child bond.
with each child in your family—
even if it’s only for short periods.
This gives you and your children
know what messages your child is
time to talk about whatever is
seeing and hearing about sex, drugs,
going on in their lives without any-
relationships, and other social issues.
one else hearing or interrupting.
While parents can control what
For some, that may mean taking
happens within their home, it is
a Saturday morning bike ride. For
impossible to control every aspect of
others, it may mean chatting while
your child’s environment when he
you drive to or from a school activ-
or she walks out the front door. Risk
ity. It may even mean talking while
factors that occur at school (such as
you’re folding a load of laundry
lack of a drug education and enforce-
on Sunday afternoon. Whatever
ment program) or in the community
works for you, make the moments
(such as a high tolerance for youths
count. Ask your teens what is go-
who smoke) make your already
ing on in their lives, and then listen
challenging job even more difficult.
to the answer. These formal or
Section 4 ( How Do I Teach My Child
informal rituals help establish the
About Drugs? ) will present ideas for
open communication that is essen-
how you can become more involved
tial to raising drug-free children.
in school and community efforts to
❯
Family meetings help create
reduce risk factors.
bonds, too. Once a week, get
proTecTive FAcTorS
everyone together to talk about
family issues—to celebrate what’s
Another time when it’s critical for
A number of protective factors are
working and resolve what isn’t
you to be there is—well, any time!
quite effective in helping children
working. Set some simple ground
Assure your children that you are
grow up drug-free. One of the best
rules for your meetings, such as
available any time they need to leave
protective factors you can provide is a
(1) everyone gets a chance to talk,
a place where alcohol or drugs are
strong parent-child bond. Why? First,
(2) no interrupting, and (3) only
being used. Even if your children
it tells your children that you are there
positive feedback is allowed. You
don’t use drugs or alcohol, you don’t
24/7 for advice. It also tells them they
can combine this meeting with one want them riding in a vehicle with
are valuable members of the family
of your family meals—say, every
someone who does. When you can’t
and that you love them, and it boosts
Sunday night.
provide transportation at a moment’s
their self-esteem so they feel good
notice, such as during your night shift,
about who they are without the need
Open Communication
nominate a responsible adult who can.
for drugs or alcohol. Let’s look at some Myth #3 also mentioned the
of the ways to strengthen the parent-
importance of being there for your
Other Role Models
child bond.
child, especially during times of
Parenting can feel overwhelming,
Family Time
transition (e.g., changing schools,
especially if you are employed outside
moving, or divorce) because the
the home or are a single parent. If
Make no mistake: quality family time
risk of drug abuse increases greatly
possible, try to find other family
is a powerful protective factor. With
during these transitional times.61 As
members or caregivers who can serve
school activities, work, and social
previously mentioned, family dinners
as positive role models in your child’s
commitments, it’s not always easy to
and one-on-one time are also excellent
life to ease some of your burden.
get everyone in the family together at
ways to let your children know you
Grandparents, for example, can bring
the same time. But family time goes
will be there for them.
a calmer, more seasoned approach to
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interactions with their grandchildren.
❯
Kids receive conflicting messages
so! This makes children feel loved
They (and other extended family
from television, peers, social me-
and secure.
members) can use their positions of
dia, etc., and may not know which
❯
Finally, praise your child often
trust to reinforce the same lessons in
way to turn. They need you to
for respecting the rules and doing
self-respect and healthy living that
help them, so state your position
what’s right. It only takes a minute
you are trying to portray to your
clearly. Tell your children that you
a day to hug your child and say,
children. Even a neighbor or faith-
forbid them to use alcohol and
“Thanks for being a good kid.”
based community member can serve
drugs because (1) you love them,
This positive reinforcement boosts
as a positive role model if one isn’t
(2) those substances are harm-
your child’s self-esteem and less-
available in the family. This person can
ful for their health, and (3) those
ens the likelihood that your child
often ask more direct questions than
substances are illegal.
needs drugs to feel good.
parents can ( What kinds of drugs do kids
❯
Let them know how disappointed
take nowadays? What types of alcohol have
you’d be if you found out they
Positive Activities
you been offered at parties? ), and they
were using. Rules also give your
One reason kids may experiment with
might get more honest answers.
child a “way out” when tempted.
drugs is simply that they are bored.
If grandparents or older family
If someone offers your child a cig-
While you don’t want to enroll children
members who can serve as positive
arette, for example, your child can
in every single activity, you should
role models don’t live nearby, use
say, “If my mom caught me smok-
encourage them to find something
technology such as email or real-time
ing, I’d be grounded and have to
they are interested in (e.g., sports,
video chats to bridge the miles.
miss the homecoming game!” This music, volunteer work, and faith-based
takes the pressure off your child
activities) and to participate in it.
Rules and Consequences
and shifts the blame to you, which Being active accomplishes several
your child may be more comfort-
Myth #4 mentioned that youths
things. First, it fills the empty
able doing among peers.
aged 12 to 17 who believed their
hours after school, on weekends, or
parents would strongly disapprove
❯
Establish appropriate consequenc-
during the summer when children
of their using substances were less
es for breaking rules and consis-
aren’t otherwise occupied. This
likely to use that substance. That’s
tently enforce them. Be prepared:
is especially true if you work and
why one critical protective factor is
your child may test your rules just can’t be home to monitor what your
being consistent in your “NO drugs,
to see if you’ll follow through with children are doing during free time.
NO alcohol” message. Repeat it
consequences. By all means, do
It also keeps them from spending
frequently so there is no doubt about
how you feel. Don’t assume that your
children know where you stand—
they want you to set boundaries that
help them make life choices.
Think of it this way: your child is the
captain of a ship, and the seas (of life)
are rough. The ship’s instruments
aren’t wired perfectly, so your
child’s judgment may be clouded by
inaccurate information. As much as
your child wants to steer the ship, your
child needs guidance. YOU can serve
as a lighthouse—a beacon, of sorts—to
help guide your child safely into the
harbor (of adulthood).
School connectedness is an
That example may seem simplistic,
but it demonstrates that growing up
important protecti