Three
I waltzed into Roy’s at ten till six, still wondering if I had entirely removed Soot’s unsolicited present. Roy greeted me, but was busy with two groups of people. I let him have the betterdressed couple, and took the other couple. We did a little dealing, and both couples left happy. I told Roy about the comic books and he grinned. “I saw the business card on the counter yesterday morning, and I was wondering why the Governor’s son would leave a card here.”
“The Governor’s son?” I exclaimed. “Wow, maybe I helped him out after all. But, they were buying the present for the girl’s dad.”
“Ahhh, then, that would be Senator Andrews,” he replied with a twinkle. “If you read the grocery store rags at all, you’d know they are a couple.”
“Well, it may pay to have comic books in high places,” I opted.
He looked at me slyly and said with a mocking grin, “It just might, it just might.”
He grabbed his coat and hat, and headed for the door. “By the way, you haven’t taken any money for yourself yet, I think you have sixty dollars coming after tonight. It’s Friday, I’ll see you Monday, but feel free to come on in and use the office, if you need to.”
“Thanks Roy, I may need to, have a good weekend.”
He waved and went out the door.
OK, it was time for me to earn the rest of my retainer. I had a slight plan on how to proceed, and the first part was the easiest. I planned on contacting Paul at the ‘Hustle Herald’. I looked the number up in the phone book and called it, figuring that Paul never got home till nearly midnight, so he would probably be putting final touches on the obits. The gal answered the phone with a desultory, “Hello, Hustle Herald front desk, can I hep ya?”
“I hope so, I need to speak to Paul, ummm…” I stalled here, as I didn’t remember Paul’s last name.
She asked, “Who? I don’t know a Paul.”
“He works in obituaries, has thick glasses, walks into things.”
“I’ll go look,” she said unenthusiastically.
I waited for about 10 minutes before she returned, saying, “Sorry, had to use the john, but I found him.”
“Good, can I speak to him please?”
“Oh, yeah, I’ll get him.”
I figured that unless she had a bladder infection, it would just be a few minutes before she returned, but it was almost 10 minutes before she returned again.
“He wants to know who this is.”
I sighed, “Tell him it is After Coffman.”
“After what?”
“Just tell him I am the other guy on the 3rd floor of the rooming house.”
“Why don’t ya just tell him in the morning, I’m busy here, it’s Friday night and I gotta do my nails.”
“One more try, please?”
“O.K.” she replied grudgingly.
This time I got a much quicker response. Paul was on the phone.
“Who is this again?”
“Paul, this is After, the guy whose room you keep wandering into.”
“Oh, Hi After. What do you need?”
“I need a favor that only a newspaper person can help me with.”
He seemed impressed. “Is this for one of your cases?” he asked, some excitement in his voice.
“Yes, for my only case actually.”
“What can I do for you? Will I get in trouble?”
“You won’t get in trouble, Paul, I just need some quick information.”
“Oh, O.K.” He sounded vaguely disappointed.
“Does your paper ever print flyers that go out with the paper?”
“Sure, it brings in an extra buck or two.”
“Can you check to see if you guys printed a flyer around the 4th of the month, dealing with the opening of a nightclub called The Green Frog?”
“Sure, I can do that.”
“Also, if it isn’t too much trouble, see how many days it was in the paper, and who ordered the print job, if possible.”
“O.K. boss, that should be O.K., I am well liked here, and I can probably get a lot of help on it.”
“Fat chance” I thought, not if the receptionist is any example.
“Just do your best. Paul.... I appreciate it.”
“No problem, do you want me to tell you tonight?”
“Only if you happen to wander into the wrong room, and feel that you need to talk.”
That was kind of fun, having a co-conspirator, and having him calling me boss. I had to grin. What a combination, a sleuth that had pudding for a nose, and a near sighted reporter. It would have to do. It was all I had.
As there were no customers in the Shoppe, I decided to tackle the phone calls. I had been trying to figure out how best to present myself. I figured that if there was a connection between ‘The Green Frog’ and Felix Jeffries, that the said connection would not necessarily be very forthcoming on the phone, so I thought that the devious route might work best. I would just call and invite the person on the other end of the phone line to meet me there tomorrow night at 1:30, as the scrap of paper had noted.
Picking up the phone, I dialed the six digits that I already knew, and added a zero. I got a recording telling me that the number had been disconnected, and was no longer in service. The same held true when I substituted the one and the two. I got a bit lucky with the three.
“Hello,” a man’s voice on the other end.
“Hello, meet me tomorrow night at 1:30 at ‘The Green Frog’, I’ll wear a polka dot tie.” “Is this Ed McMahon?” he asked.
“No,” I answered, somewhat confused.
“I don’t talk to no solicitors, unless it’s Ed,” and he hung up.
That could have gone a lot better, but at least I had 4 potential numbers out of the way. Substituting a four got me the recording again. Who said private investigation was boring? I was having a great time listening to dial tones and recorded messages. I also knew that most jobs are routine; mainly drudgery, punctuated by short moments of thrills and accomplishment. Private investigative work is often just going through records, talking to a few people and maybe following a person, just to see how they spend their day. It is mostly working on little things, as murder and large thefts are generally handled exclusively by the police. You may have heard that most P.I. work is domestic, I think that is probably true.
Substituting a five for the last digit, I dialed again. A female answered, “Hellooooo.” Like that. I paused for a beat, then went into my spiel anyway.
“Meet me at ‘The Green Frog’ tomorrow night, I’ll be wearing a polka dot tie.” A pause, then, “Kewl, but you’ll have to buy, I’m not working.”
I asked then, a bit belatedly, “Ummm, would there be anyone else there that I may need to talk with?”
“Nope,” she answered cheerily enough, “I live here alone.”
“Do you always just show up at a place when someone you don’t know calls you up? What if I am not your cup of tea?”
“If I don’t like you, I won’t stop, but if you wear a polka dot tie, chances are I’ll like ya!” “Oh.”
“Byeeee.”
Hmm, I was no closer to the person on the scrap of paper, but apparently, I had a date for tomorrow night.
After taking a breath, I plunged in again. The only other number in service seemed to be the one that I was looking for. I dialed the nine, and a man answered. “Yes?”
“Meet me at ‘The Green Frog’, tomorrow at 1:30, I’ll wear a polka dot tie.” Silence, then, “Is this some sort of joke?”
“No sir.”
“We’ll just see about that.” He slammed the phone down. At least I imagined him slamming it down. He didn’t sound all that nervous, but then, he hadn’t seen my tie.
Perfect timing, I was done with the calls, made a few notes about which numbers were working, placed them in the top drawer of my little desk, and went out to the main room, just as the door bells jingled. I spent the rest of my working time selling painted saw blades to a couple of collectors.
Tomorrow was going to be a busy day, I mused as I gathered up my sixty dollars, leaving Roy a note to inform him that I had done so. I had to dress for a funeral, and then find something to go with my yellow tie with various sized polka dots on it. I also had to decide whether or not to inform Jocko about my date with destiny tomorrow night. Ah well, some things to sleep on.
I walked home, it was a lovely night, and I was impressed with the town as a rule. Even though I walked through the older part of town, past a few liquor stores and taverns, the roads were well lit and there was just a minimum of trash and broken bottles lying about. I went to my room, but the door had not been opened, it was apparently Soot proof for the time being. I went to Paul’s door and knocked softly, but got no response. I wondered if he would be home before midnight. I doubted he would come up with anything this soon, but I couldn’t help but hope.
I went down to the living room, Hal was there watching an old movie on the television set, so I grabbed a soda and sat down to watch with him. I started to ask him how things were going, but he shushed me.
“This is a classic, wait till the commercials.” Groucho was doing his Captain Spaulding dance, and Chico was playing the piano.
I was about to leave, when the door opened and Paul barged in, knocking over the hat stand and excusing himself to it.
I wandered over to him, while he was apologizing to the stand, and told him, “Paul, that isn’t a person, just the hat stand.”
“Oh,” he said, obviously relieved, “the coat on it confused me there, for just a second.” “Of course,” I agreed, “happens all the time. Did you find out anything on the flyer?” “Yes!” he whispered, “but don’t you think we ought to go somewhere sound proof?”
“No, not at all,” I rejoindered, “but maybe someplace Groucho proof.” This earned us a glare from Hal. We walked into the dining room, and sat down at the table.
“OK, Paul, I really appreciate this,” I offered.
“It was fun,” he said excitedly, then lowered his voice. “It wasn’t really that difficult.” I smiled, not knowing if he could even see me, but encouraged him, “Go on…..”
“Well, we did print the flyers, but they didn’t go out with the paper, they were independently distributed. The man who had them printed is named Harold Gibbons, but they were picked up by a fellow named Fred Jacobs, or something like that.”
“How did you know who picked them up?” I asked.
“I Xeroxed the order sheet and the bill, which was signed by the person who picked them up.”
“You are fantastic.” I praised him. “Well done, do you have the copy with you?” “Oh sure, here it is.” He fished it out of his pocket.
I brushed the lint off the paper and read…not Fred Jacobs, but Felix Jeffries! “It’s Felix Jeffries that signed for it!” I gasped.
“Yeah, I knew it was something like that.”
This would probably be information that Jocko would want to know, and since he worked the night beat, I thought I’d give him a call.
“Thanks Paul, you’ve been a great help.”
“Let me know if I can bail you out of any other messes.”
I wasn’t aware that I was in a mess, but he must have been prescient, because I was deeper in than even you may be suspecting right now. “Sure Paul, you can count on it.”
I heard him go up the stairs and say, “Good kitty.” A moment later I heard him enter and close a door, then the door opened again, then very shortly after that, another door opened….oh boy, he was lost again. I raced up the stairs, never saw Soot, ran through the open door to my room, looked everywhere for the varmint, and satisfied that the room was still Soot proof, made my way to the bathroom, cleaned up and went back downstairs to call Jocko.
I got to the telephone, and called the Police department, asking if there was a way to reach Jocko.
“Patrolman O’Reilly is home tonight, he has Friday and Saturday nights off.”
The O’Reilly explained the red hair and freckles, anyway. I thanked the lady and hung up, deciding that midnight was too late to bother a new daddy, and that it could wait until tomorrow. I wandered up the stairs and back into my room, wondering if Soot had found a new home to haunt, as his lack of presence was almost as noticeable as his attacks.
The next morning was gray and somewhat blustery. I saw the shadows of the trees dance across the room, from the dank light of a lazy sun. A perfect day for a funeral. I had decided to go conservative, but not in mourning, after all, I wasn’t family. I wore khaki slacks, a dark polo shirt, brown loafers that didn’t look too scuffed, and sunglasses. I wanted to see people’s eyes without them seeing mine.
Mother had breakfast ready for me, and I hungrily devoured my eggs, toast and orange juice. I even managed to say “Good morning Priscilla,” to the fossil. She must have been in a grumpy mood, as she didn’t even acknowledge me. I rose from the table, taking my dishes to the kitchen.
As I walked past the table, the old fossil said enigmatically, “Carol.”
I smiled, and said, “Of course,” having no idea what she meant, but trying to humor the old biddy.
I went to the tortured hat rack, which doubled as a coat rack, and retrieved my raincoat, for there was a feeling in the air, as if it might rain. I took off down the street to where I knew the cemetery was, from previous strolls around the neighborhood.
I knew the graveside service was for 8:00 A.M., and I was about thirty minutes early. I saw where the backhoe had done its work.
There was a tent placed near the open pit, and the casket was on plastic turf cleverly designed to look like plastic grass. No one was in sight, so I sat on one of the folding chairs and waited.
At 8:00 sharp, a dark Ford Contour drove up and a slightly built man got out. He walked up to the site, placing glasses on his overlong nose. Of course, next to my nose, all appear to be overlong.
He peered at me, not unlike a hawk looking at a mouse from a long distance away, then asked if I was family.
“No,” I replied, “just an acquaintance.”
“I am Pastor James,” he stated, holding out his hand.
“After Coffman,” I volunteered.
“Ah yes, the new investigator in town.”
“Have we met?”
“No, but Felicia was worried about Felix, and I told her to get some help. She wanted to wait a bit before contacting the police, and then Roy Mack suggested that she come see you. You work in his shop, I understand.” I wasn’t sure if shop and shoppe were pronounced he same way, but admitted that I did work there.
“Yes, we all meet with several other seniors on Wednesday nights.
It is interdenominational, and last Wednesday was my night. You are welcome at any time.”
I bristled at being included with seniors, but decided to let it pass, as he was presiding over a funeral and probably had the salvation of a soul weighing heavily on his mind. “We may as well begin,” he sighed, “as the son is apparently gone for good, and her daughter hasn’t been home for over ten years.”
“You mean that it is only us?”
“Probably.”
We did have one other arrival though, as Roy showed up a moment later. I asked Pastor James if there was anything I could send to the church for Felicia.
“Flowers are always nice, just don’t send petunias, as I recall, the entire family is deathly allergic to them.”
That was interesting; irrelevant, but interesting. I made a mental note to send lilies. I always remember lilies at churches, probably because I usually only went to church on Easter and Christmas, and it was the wrong time of year for poinsettias. Come to think of it, August wasn’t a good time for lilies either.
“What church?” I asked.
“Our Holy Mother of the True Rock.” Pastor James beamed back at me. “The only one like it in the area.”
I pretended astonishment, then sat down, as it was obviously show time.
Pastor James did the routine service, but I also felt that he meant what he said. There just wasn’t much need to elaborate. Roy and I sat appreciatively, and bowed our heads when instructed, and generally managed to live through the service. As the Pastor wound down, we rose and I caught a movement out of the side of my eye.
An old silver Volkswagen bug was driving by slowly. I couldn’t see who was in it, so I turned slightly. At my movement, the bug sped up and got out of the area as quickly as possible. I thought that a large male drove it, with a smaller, possibly female passenger. It had out of state license plates, but that was all I could see in the short look I had. There were probably not many silver bugs in town, I would relay this information to Jocko when I saw him next.
I stood around, exchanging pleasantries with Roy and the Pastor, mostly to see who else might show up. They were ready to leave in a few minutes though, so I said my goodbyes and turned to walk away. The Pastor offered Roy a lift home, which he accepted, so I continued on with a wave in their direction. I wandered away, but circled back after they left, finding a tree a short distance away. I took up sentinel there, waiting to see if there would be any other visitors. No one showed for two hours, and I finally made my way reluctantly out of the cemetery. I thought that it was definitely time to contact Jocko, so I found my way to a pay phone and was lucky enough to discover a phone book actually attached to the chain.
Good old Hustle, a pretty safe, clean town, unless you count the crack I received on my head, the death of Felicia Jeffries, and the disappearance of her son. There seemed to be an unseen undercurrent of mystery and a potential for violence that I was ready to plumb, maybe with the help of Jocko.
I dialed his number, and a lady answered. To my untrained ear, she didn’t sound young enough to be a young man’s wife, but I went ahead anyway.
“Mrs. O’Reilly?”
“No, this is his mother-in-law.”
That explained it. “Is Jocko home today?”
“No honey, he and Bitsy went to the city to go shopping, I am baby-sitting today. Could I help you?”
I was still recovering from the Bitsy bomb, but managed to say, “I would appreciate it if you would tell him to call After when he gets home.” I couldn’t help but wonder what they had named their poor child.
“That’s bad English.” She remarked primly. “You should not use ‘After when’ together.” I sighed, and explained, “After is my name, please ask him to call, or drop by, he knows the address.”
“Certainly young man, but I don’t expect them till late,” she replied, but without the warmth. I suspect she thought I was trying to get out of a grammar lesson with a lame excuse.
There was nothing to do except walk home, so that is what I did. Upon my arrival, Mother greeted me with some news. “Several men from Homicide were here to see you, they said to wait here, and that they would be right back.”
That was fine, as I was going nowhere else until late tonight. I went into the living room, hoping for a good movie. The fossil was having friends over. The room smelled of old ladies, and was not a place for me. I smiled and turned, then went up the stairs to my room. Suddenly tired, I took off my shoes and lay down for a nap.
A few minutes later, there was a knock on my door. Getting up to answer it, I realized that I must have dozed off for quite a while, and that I hadn’t even removed my overcoat. I am sure that I appeared somewhat disheveled when I opened the door, but the two men on the other side seemed to take it in stride. I figured that they were used to dealing with corpses, so a live person in any shape would have to be an unknown diversion, and perhaps I was no more unusual than the next.
“Hello,” said the taller of the two. “I am Lieutenant Howard, and this is Detective Moore. We are with Homicide.” He made a gesture toward his companion.
“Pleased to meet you.”
“Perhaps we could take a walk, as the house seems fairly well occupied at present.” “That would be fine, I think the fresh air would be a good idea.”
I put my shoes on and followed them down the stairs and into the late afternoon sun.
I looked the two of them over. The Lieutenant was a tall, black man, well groomed, and with a definite air of authority. I felt like a student in 3rd grade looking at the Principal. The Detective reminded me of a fireplug. He was short and swarthy, with an apparently perpetual five o’clock shadow on his face. He walked bow legged like a character out of an old western.
Lieutenant Howard said, “Jocko said you may have an idea or two to help us on a missing person’s case.”
“I’d be glad to help, but since when did Homicide work on missing persons?” “As the missing person was associated with the recent death of his mother, we thought it best to explore the possibilities.”
The Lieutenant seemed to be the designated speaker, and the Detective was along for the ride, so I directed myself to the Lieutenant.
“Jocko said you were going to search both of their places, is there anything you can tell me about that?” I ventured.
“No, nothing that we can share, except that we are still on the case.”
“OK.”
“Now, we need to know a few things. One, how did you get on the case; two, what do you know about Felix Jeffries; and three, what are your plans?”
“Let’s see, Felicia Jeffries asked me to investigate her son’s disappearance, but she died before she got me the key to his apartment.”
“Was she killed on the way home, or on the way back to see you?”
That was a good question, one that hadn’t occurred to me. “I don’t know, which way was she walking when she was killed, toward her home, or toward Roy Mack’s place?” “From what we gathered, she was walking back to Roy’s, but she only had the key to her house on her.”
“Hmmm,” I mused, “Well, that begs the question of whether you found Felix’s key at her place.”
“All I can say to that is that someone was at her place before we were, and that we found no key there either.” He looked at me, a bit of an edge to him. “You wouldn’t have just wandered by there would you, perhaps looked in her trash?” This brought a smirk from the Detective. I decided to continue to ignore him for the rest of the interview, just for that. So Jocko had related the dumpster story, well, no surprise.
“Lieutenant, I have no idea where she lived.”
“O.K. then, what do you know about Felix Jeffries?”
“I know that he is Felicia’s son, that he has a long gone sister, that he is missing, and that he has some sort of association with a new nightclub, ‘The Green Frog’.” This elicited a response. They would never admit that they didn’t know this, but they covered well.
“How did you come by this knowledge?” the Detective asked.
I spoke to the Lieutenant. “Oh, I was rummaging through Felix’s trash, you ought to try it sometime.” I was perturbed by the garbage insinuation, as if that was all I was qualified to do. Unfortunately, that was all I had really done…that I could talk about anyway.
Both cops glared at me, then the Lieutenant smiled at me. It was not a pretty sight, he looked big, mean and menacing. “O.K.
smart guy, what did you find in Felix’s garbage?”
“First of all, I wasn’t sure if it was Felix’s, but a flyer for ‘The Green Frog’ was under his window, and I made a few calls, and discovered that Felix was the man who picked up the flyers from the printers. As you undoubtedly know who the printer was, I figure you already know all of this.”
They didn’t, and it was obvious, but now they were going to have to find out this information for themselves, if they wished to save face. I felt a moment of superiority, even though I knew I was outclassed.
“O.K., third question, what are you going to do about the case?”
“The last thing I was going to do was go by ‘The Green Frog’ tonight and ask around. I have a date!” I announced proudly.
“I guess that’s all right,” the Lieutenant allowed. “But that’s all you should be doing. Leave the rest of this up to us. Stay out of trouble, and if something turns up, call us first…got it?”
“Loud and clear,” I lied.
We were back at the rooming house, and apparently they thought that this was the time to leave, which they did, without another word. I let it pass, dealing with stiffs all day probably meant never having to say ‘Good-bye’.
Now, that that was behind me, I had two important items on my agenda. Make sure I was on time for Mother’s supper, and then to try and figure out what would go well with my polka dot tie.
I went upstairs, still no sign of Soot. Now I really was worried, what if he had found a place to die, what if that place was in my room, and what if I would be blamed for it? I could lose my room here, and the meals, and ….well, that was all, but that was enough.
I went to Paul’s room and knocked on the door. He muttered something that I took to be ‘Come in,’ so I did.
“Paul,” I asked, “have you seen Soot lately?”
“No, I didn’t even know we had a fireplace here. Help me find my glasses, I have misplaced them.”
I decided to let the fireplace thing slide by, Paul probably didn’t even know we had a roof on the building. We searched the room for a bit, to no avail. While we were looking, I tried another tack. “Have you seen the old black cat that lives here?”
“Not since last night, when I wondered into your room by mistake, he was on your dresser.”
“He was? And he didn’t trash anything?” I was shocked. Had a truce been declared? “Not that I could see, but then I couldn’t see too much having removed my glasses.” I did a quick detective job, right on the spot. “Paul, if you had removed your glasses, after wandering into my room, perhaps that is where we’ll find them.”
Paul positively glowed. “You really are a great detective! Let’s go see.” “Ummm, Paul, a Detective is a policeman, I am a Private Investigator.”
“Oh yeah, well, whatever.”
We got into my room, and looked around. I finally found Paul’s glasses on the floor, under my dresser, along with my scrap of paper from Felix’s apartment, and two of my socks that had been missing for some time. What had that cat been up to? “Here they are, Paul,” I said, handing him his glasses, relieved that they were found, and also strangely relieved that Soot was still among the living, though wary as to his most recent motives.
“Cracked that case yet? Did my information help?”
“Still working on the case, but your information has led to a meeting tonight that might help.”
He seemed gratified. “Mother said the cops were here today.”
“Better get used to it, I will be dealing with them from time to time.”
“They looked around in your room for a bit, but then I wandered in, looking for you, and they left.”
“What?” They didn’t have a warrant, and they hadn’t mentioned anything about that! I guess I owed Soot, as they obviously hadn’t seen my note on the floor amongst the socks. That might have been hard to explain.
“They seemed like nice guys, but they sure left in a hurry.”
“I’ll bet they did, and I’ll bet they looked in my garbage too.” I couldn’t help sneering.
We went down to supper. It was great; meat loaf, mashed potatoes and gravy, fresh green beans, some sort of wiggly Jell-O dish with fruit cocktail, and lots of tea and coffee. I was satisfied that I was fortified enough for whatever tonight might bring.
Back in my room, I went through my sad assortment of clothes.
What would go with my polka dot tie? Nothing actually. I had picked the tie because it was distinctive, but it really matched nothing in my repertoire.
The tie was yellow with blue dots, of various sizes, kind of unusual anyway. I had never seen anyone else wear one like it. I had no blue shirts, nor yellow shirts, and figuring that yellow and blue make green, I settled on a green short sleeved shirt with most of its buttons remaining. The top button was gone, but I thought that the knot in the tie would hide it, and if anyone noticed, I was sure that it would just be assumed that I was looking cool, with the top button undone. That settled, I chose some gray and red checked slacks, mainly because they were the only clean and pressed pair I had left, and I wanted to look my best. My slightly scuffed loafers would have to do, and I still had some clean, dark socks, so I was ready to go.
I showered and shaved, applied a liberal amount of after shave, dressed and decided to case the joint early, it being about 9:00 in the evening. I also thought that I could ask around, maybe find out who Harold Gibbons was, and if Felix had more than a passing association with the ownership of ‘The Green Frog’.
I found the place without problem, one can walk nearly any where in Hustle without spending an undo amount of time in arriving, so I was still fresh when I walked into the new nig