Four
Thinking back on that night, I assume I got to bed somewhere near 3:00 A. M. I am sure it took a little bit for the house to settle down, for Jocko to go home and for Mother to get back to bed. I wouldn’t know, as I was fast asleep. I do remember being in a half awake state at times as my body was aching from the beating I had incurred. It was later in the night, probably just before morning’s first light when I finally decided to work my way to the bathroom to get some aspirin for my headache. It was probably a slight concussion, but I was going to have to treat it with something if I was going to get any rest. I had every intention of forgetting everything about the case, and planned on telling Jocko about how I got the scrap of paper, and how it had caused the most recent troubles. I felt that I had done my hundred dollar’s worth of work for Felicia.
Anyway, I rolled over slowly, got my knees on the floor by the bed, and groaning with every move, I managed to get myself to a standing position. My head was throbbing, but I wasn’t dizzy, just unbelievably sore and creaky feeling. I walked slowly to the door, which was slightly ajar, and walked slowly and quietly to the bathroom.
Leaving the light off, I poured my water, and took two aspirin and then I noticed a shadow slip by the bathroom door sliding along towards my bedroom door.
I crept out of the bathroom, thinking Paul must have worked late and wandered to my room again, and I did not want to startle him. I walked carefully to my room, but just as I got there, I heard spitting sounds. I had shot enough guns when I was trying for the police academy to recognize the smell of cordite, and I had heard a muffled gun shoot before. It took a second or two to sink in, but someone was shooting up my room. I turned to go back down the hallway, but it was too late. The shadow came to the door, and it was the Greaseball from the nightclub, gun still in hand. He looked momentarily startled, but then a wicked smile came over those acneridden features. Using his gun as a baton, he pointed me to the head of the stairs. I went, trying to figure how I was going to get out of this. He began to give me a push, when somewhere from the blackness, a silent dark missile hurled through the air, attaching itself to the Greaseball’s face and began raking away at it. With a bellow of pain, the Greaseball tried to unleash his assailant, but Soot had found a new mark and was clawing him up for all he was worth. Greaseball and Soot fell down the stairs together, rolling, cussing and clawing at each other. They didn’t stop at the second floor either; they flew down the next flight and ended up on the landing where Mother Teresa magically appeared with a broom.
Out the door they all went, the Greaseball with Soot on his head, and Mother Teresa beating the Greaseball liberally with the broom.
They disappeared into the night, Soot snarling and the Greaseball screaming, the steady thwack, thwack of Mother’s broom on his backside.
I went to the phone and amazingly dialed Jocko’s number from memory. A sleepy Jocko answered the phone. “Yeath?”
“Jocko, this is After, there’s been a break-in at Mother’s, some shots were fired, but they hit no one, and Soot and Mother are chasing the assailant down the street!” “I’ll be right there.” It always amazed me how fast cops could wake up. I was pretty sure he already had his pants on, and that his shirt would be going on as he went out the door.
I limped down the stairs; by now the other four roomers were awake and congregating near the foyer. Paul was wondering around with Hal. The fossil was on the first floor, with her robe and slippers on, and the final roomer, James, who was on the second floor, was on his way down the final flight of stairs as well. I was surprised to see that he was not at his girlfriend’s house, as we rarely saw him at Mother’s.
“What’s going on?” Hal demanded.
“Someone broke in and tried to shoot me,” I replied, the implications of that just sinking in.
“You look terrible,” Hal said, “are you sure he didn’t shoot you?”
“He did hit me, earlier in the evening, along with a friend of his, but not with a bullet.”
“Well, it’s almost morning, might as well see if we can rustle up some grub.” Hal took off for the kitchen, followed by the college kid and the fossil.
“I’m going to look for Mother,” I told Paul. “Wait here for Jocko, and tell him what happened.”
“O.K.”
I grabbed my raincoat, and stumbled out into the street barefoot and began to walk in the direction that I had last seen them go.
I was rewarded with the sight of Mother stalking down the sidewalk in my direction. I neared her, and cried, “Are you alright?”
She nodded, and continued on past me, back to the house. I turned to follow her, and we entered the foyer just as Jocko pulled up in his car. He hit the ground running and got to Mother as fast as he could.
“What’s going on?” he asked me, as he hugged Mother.
“Come on in.” I sighed. “I think the excitement’s over for the time being.”
The fossil and Hal were making coffee and toast. James, the college kid, was setting the table and Mother went to the kitchen, still having not said a word. Jocko waved at me to sit down, so I joined him at the table.
“O.K., what happened?”
I told him about waking up; the shadows in the hall, Soot to the rescue and the parade out the front door.
“Looks like you didn’t make any friends at ‘The Green Frog’ last night.”
“No, I didn’t, but I don’t think these guys are involved with Harold Gibbons, at least not where I am concerned. Those two bodyguards of Mr. Gibbons could have escorted me out of there any time they chose to.”
“That’s true,” he agreed, “they aren’t shy about kicking people out. Tell me about last night.”
I told him about talking with Joe, about the quick meeting with Harold Gibbons, and how he reacted to Felix’s name. I had to backtrack to tell Jocko about Felix having signed for the flyers. I then told him how I met the girl, and how the two creeps were waiting for me at the table when we returned from dancing.
“Why did they pick on you, and who turned them onto you?”
I admitted that I had put the word out that I would be there that night looking for clues as to Felix Jeffries’ whereabouts, but I told him that I wasn’t sure if Joe, Gibbons, or someone else had pointed me out. I don’t know why I didn’t tell him about the phone number on the scrap of paper. I had been planning to, but something just kept holding me back.
“Mind if I take a quick look upstairs?”
“Be my guest, I don’t feel like accompanying you just yet.”
“I’ll be right back.”
He left, but the others came in, and amazingly, the table started to fill with food. Toast, juice, scrambled eggs, jellies, coffee, and breakfast rolls were everywhere. Mother entered, surveyed the scene and asked, “Where’s Jocko?”
“He’s looking my room over, searching for clues.”
Jocko bounced in about then, holding a plastic baggy with two bullets in it. “I’ll have these analyzed, see if we can come up with something. This is turning out to be a bit more complicated than I thought. Kind of makes me think Felicia was helped in front of that bus.”
I nodded, “Me too, and I don’t have high hopes for ever meeting Felix either.” The rest of the roomers were following this discussion open mouthed.
Mother looked at all of us, then issued orders. “Everyone eat up, then Hal and James clean up, while After and I go looking for Soot.”
I forgot, Soot was last seen masquerading as the Greaseball’s hat as he fled down the street. I felt responsible for that and gobbled my food down as fast as possible. Excusing myself, I limped back up the stairs, but all in all, I was feeling better. The aspirin must be working, and that, along with the food and the excitement had me ready to go, maybe at half speed, but forward nonetheless.
I got into some shorts, a tee shirt, some sneakers, and went back downstairs. I grabbed my coat. Mother was waiting at the door.
“Let’s go,” she said grimly.
We went up the street for a bit. There was quite a bit of blood to follow, I could only hope it wasn’t Soot’s. About one block away, I saw the gun. The sun had peeked above the horizon, and it was easy to see. I grabbed a twig lying nearby and used it to pick the gun up, placing it in my coat’s pocket. The silencer was still attached. We followed the blood trail to a corner, where it abruptly disappeared.
I was worried, as I did not know the difference between people blood and cat blood. Jocko drove by at that moment, and got out of his car. I gave him the gun. “This looks like the end of the trail,” he said with a worried look, “Someone picked him up in a car, I’d wager. Can I give you two a lift home?”
”You two go, I’ll keep looking for Soot.”
Mother actually smiled at me then, and got into the car with Jocko.
I knew the neighborhood fairly well, and I went up and down all the streets in the area, as well as alleys. I called his name softly, knowing that he wouldn’t come running, but figuring I might at least get a growl. There was absolutely no response. I saw several cats, lots of dogs, and a sleepy raccoon, but no Soot.
I looked hard for two hours, then decided I should check back in. I trudged up the stairs to the house, and taking my overcoat off, went in to tell Mother the bad news.
She was in the kitchen, cooking up something that smelled delicious.
I told her about my journey and she took it pretty good.
She said, “He’s a smart cat, but has never been an outdoor cat, we’ll just keep looking and hope for the best. He’s so old though.” A tear came to her eye, and she turned away.
“I am going to try and clean up, even the dogs are afraid of the way I look right now.” Tiredness had finally caught up with me, and I needed a long, hot shower, and clean clothes.
Jocko said he’d be back later, along with a fingerprint and blood lab crew. He asked me to keep from touching surfaces in my room.
I told him that the shooter never got in, that he had just stood by the door. We both agreed that the crime scene was fairly hopeless by now. I changed the bedclothes anyway, noting the two holes near my pillow.
The shower was great; I just put boxers on and went back to my room. I would shave and finish making myself presentable after my nap. It was only 8:30 A.M., and so I set my alarm for 10:00, fell into bed and lost contact with the world.
The rest of the morning went without incident. I got up, feeling just about as creaky as I had earlier. I shaved, forcing myself to work on the tender areas as well. I had a black right eye, and it looked to be a whopper. Otherwise, just a few more cuts and scrapes to go along with the ones Soot had previously given me. I went downstairs, where all the usual suspects were loitering. The only one to go to church today was the fossil, so she was gone, but Mother, Hal, Paul and James were taking it easy in the living room.
“Thanks for the early breakfast, Mother,” I said.
“That was no problem, After,” she replied. “I need to ask you something.” “Yes?”
“I am used to things happening in my house, as I have been boarding people for a long time, in fact, your friend Roy Mack was one of my first. However, I have never had a gun fired in my house, and never been involved with murder cases. Is this likely to continue?”
“Probably,” I admitted. “It goes with my line of work.” I sighed, “I’ll start looking for a new place tomorrow.”
“Oh no!” she cried, “I haven’t had this much fun in years, but I think we need better locks.”
I was amazed.
Paul was grinning, “I have been helping After too,” he offered to anyone willing to listen. Hal said, “If there’s anything I can do, let me know.”
James grinned at us, “I have some friends that play football, if you need some muscle.”
I was touched. “Mother, I’ll go by the hardware store tomorrow morning, and get some better dead bolts.”
“That will be just fine…after you take another walk around the neighborhood for Soot.” “Of course,” I assured her.
There was a knock on the door; it was Jocko, with two other gentlemen.
“Hi all,” he greeted us as he entered on his own. Looking at me, “You certainly look better.”
“I feel a bit better,” I allowed, “but now I am confused. I was going to let this case slide away, but it seems that it is now looking for me.”
Jocko nodded his head in agreement. “You’d best be careful, you’re in it up to your neck now, for whatever reason.” He nodded to the two men, who went around looking for blood samples, and whatever else they could find. They were there for about five minutes, then left quietly, with a nod to Jocko.
During a lull in the conversation, I asked, “Does anyone have any idea where I can buy some flowers on a Sunday? I promised Pastor James that I’d bring some down to the church in memory of Felicia.”
“Yes,” Jocko offered, “ I work at the local supermarket on weekends, and am actually on my way there now. Want me to take you there?”
“Thanks.” I walked out to the now familiar car, and got in. “I hope I didn’t get any blood on your seat last night.”
“Not that you’d notice.” Jocko grinned. The car was immaculate; I had the feeling that he had had to clean it up after last night.
“Put on your seat belt.” I did as I was ordered.
“Listen,” he began, “I don’t know everything that is going on, but is there something that I should know?”
“I think I’ve told you everything pertinent, but there may be a small detail I have missed.” That was mostly the truth.
“Sometimes, it’s the small details that do you in.”
“I know that, and I am trying to figure out how that guy even found out where I live.”
“Probably followed us home last night. May have wanted to know how the law got to you so fast.”
“That must be it,” I mused, “but why those two, and what do they have to do with ‘The Green Frog’, and Felix Jeffries?”
“Those are the questions, all right.” We arrived at the supermarket, and alighted. “Just go back beyond dairy, they have cut flowers there, you ought to be able to find something.”
“Thanks, Jocko, I appreciate everything.”
“No problem, glad you called me last night.”
“Me too.”
I followed his directions, there were no lilies. I found a nice bunch of mixed flowers, no petunias, for about five dollars and I bought them. I had enough money left for a soda pop, so I bought one for the road. I looked around for Jocko, but didn’t see him, so I headed out for the ‘Our Holy Mother of the True Rock’ church, which was within short walking distance.
Services were over by the time I got there, but the main door was still open, and Pastor James was just inside. I apologized for not having the flowers there in time for services, and he laughed. “That was just the morning service, they’ll all be back for afternoon Sunday School, and then services tonight. The flowers ought to last through Wednesday night service as well.”
That was some committed congregation. I asked, “Was Felicia a steady churchgoer?”
“No, she would show once or twice a month, and leave quietly.
She just started coming to Seniors a few weeks ago.”
“Thanks Pastor.”
“Have a good day After.”
I walked back home, wondering what was going to happen next.
The house appeared normal, and quiet, and I sat in my favorite chair, preparing to relax, and maybe clear my brain out a bit. Priscilla came by and offered me a glass of ice cold lemonade, which I gratefully accepted. “Thanks, Priscilla,” I said, meaning it. She looked at me and grinned, no dentures in, and walked away.
Things were finally calming down. I finished the drink, and thought about going out to look for Soot again, when the phone rang. I heard Mother answer it, then she came into the room, with eyes sparkling, and said that I had a lady calling me.
“Girl friend? Or a case?” she asked.
“Given those two options, it has to be a case, but more than likely, I owe someone money.”
I rose, I had gotten too relaxed and the body was stiff again, so I took my time getting to the phone. “Hello.”
“Hi there!” a cheery voice chirped on the other end. “I missed you when I got out of the lady’s room last night, then I heard that you had to be driven home after a fight. How exciting!”
My date, of course, I had forgotten her again. “Yup, just another day in the life of After Coffman.”
“Is that your name? That’s a really nifty name.”
Nifty? “Oh, ummm, thanks, I blame my mother for it.”
“Oh, I like it, so what happened?”
“I tried to reclaim our table last night, but two goons had other ideas, and escorted me out. Did you have a purse?”
“Yes, I kept it with me all evening, I had it while we were dancing, didn’t you feel it?” “No, I was concentrating on not killing both of us.”
She laughed, again somewhat chirpily. “Are you O.K.? I mean, did you get hurt?” “Not that you’d notice,” I replied, “just got kicked in the head a few times.” “Poor baby, I’ll be right over.” She hung up.
I found Mother. “I guess I’ll be having some company for awhile, and apparently it isn’t a new case.”
“Good, I’ll bake some cookies, and we still have some ice cream.”
So that was Jocko’s secret, he probably didn’t get the ice cream treatment until Bitsy came along. Ahh, Mother the matchmaker.
I went upstairs to insure that I looked presentable. I didn’t, but it was the best I could do on short notice, and there was no hope for my nose and ears anyway. Anyway, my mystery woman had already seen them. I figured that it was time to find out her name.
I got all of my dirty clothes; meaning all of my clothes, into a pile and then tossed them into plastic bags, ready for a trip to the Laundromat. As soon as mystery girl was gone, I had some cleaning to do. I went back downstairs to wait, then decided that I could wait out on the porch just as easily. Maybe keep an eye out for Soot.
As I walked out the door, I caught a glimpse of a silver Volkswagen just turning the corner. Coincidence? I thought not. I walked as fast as I could around the side of the house, through the back yard and cut through the alley. There was nothing terminally wrong with my legs, and the kick to my stomach didn’t hurt my breathing, so I was able to make pretty good time, but I never did see the Volkswagen again. It did serve as a reminder to keep an alert eye peeled for anything, anybody, anytime.
I went back into the house, my appetite for fresh air momentarily vanquished. I wandered into the dining room and slumped into a chair. I was wishing it were Monday, so that I could look forward to working at Roy’s. Here I was, working a case, or being worked by a case, with no future, no money, and the possibility of pain around every corner. Hercule Poirot would’ve solved this one by now, and may not have even left his room. Of course, Hercule didn’t have Soot, Paul and Mr. Steroids to deal with.
A few more minutes went by while I felt sorry for myself. The phone rang, and it was for me again. I went to it, expecting my date to announce that she had better things to do, but it was Lieutenant Howard instead.
“Mr. Coffman,” he began, “we would like to see you down at the station tomorrow morning. We seem to have found a body connected with your case.”
Shocked, I asked, “Mr. Jeffries? Felix Jeffries?”
“No such luck, I’m afraid, this is a totally new character to me, but I believe you may know him as Charlie Underhill.”
“I’ve never heard of him, Lieutenant.”
“From the description Jocko gave us, he was last seen leaving your house around 5:30 this morning or so, with a cat on his head, and Mother beating the tar out of him.”
The Greaseball was dead? “Oh my gosh, I didn’t think he was beat up that badly, Mother was hitting him with a broom, and Soot isn’t strong enough to do much more than scratch him badly.”
“It wasn’t the cat, unless he put two bullets into Underhill’s head.”
“Wow,” I managed to say, “this case is weirder than ever.”
“Be here tomorrow, try to make it by 11:00, and don’t leave town.”
I was a suspect, I could tell. They never tell you not to leave town unless you’re a suspect. What was I going to do, get a bus with the $3.25 I had left? Was I going to walk out of town? I guess that’s why they didn’t come pick me up on the spot. Suddenly, I was depressed.
A small, green sedan, with peeling paint and missing a front fender pulled up in front of the house. I went out on the porch to meet my friend. Yes, that was she, wearing a more sensible pink dress and nice shoes for this visit. I walked down to greet her.
“Do you know, I haven’t even gotten your name,” I greeted her.
“That’s right,” she giggled, “it’s Felicity.”
“Felicity,” I repeated, “kind of an old fashioned name, isn’t it?”
“Yes, but maybe I am too.”
“Maybe.” She sure couldn’t dance any better than I could, so maybe she was kind of backward. She looked pretty good this morning.
Her crossed eyes were large and pretty, her face was free of makeup, but had a healthy glow, and there was an athleticism about her that spoke of long walks and exercise. “My landlord made us fresh cookies, and ice cream,” I stated.
“That sounds wonderful,” she said, as she reached up to lightly touch my eye. “I guess that’s from last night, looks like it hurts terribly.”
Her hand was cool and didn’t hurt the eye at all. “Right now, it feels wonderful.” I grinned.
She grinned back, then ran toward the door, beating me there and opened it, then walked in like she owned the place. Mother was beaming when I entered, and said, “She looks like a nice girl.”
I grinned back, “Yes, I think so too.”
Felicity had entered the dining room, taking in the wallpaper, lights and candles; all of the things that I paid no attention to. She remarked on how lovely everything was. Mother beamed again, and told her to sit down for a treat.
“No, I want to see the kitchen,” Felicity said, and waltzed right in ahead of the widely smiling Mother Teresa.
“I’ll be eating cake and ice cream for weeks.” I thought cheerily, as I expected the Jocko treatment to follow in toto.
Mother and Felicity returned in a few minutes with the cookies, ice cream and a pitcher of milk.
“After, would you see if anyone else wants a snack?” Mother asked.
Who was I to deny her anything? I looked in the living room.
No one was present. I went to the fossil’s door and knocked. No response. I went upstairs, James’ door was open, the room was a shambles, and he was not there. I knocked on Hal’s door. “Who is it?” he called.
“Cookies, ice cream and milk downstairs.”
“I’ll be right down!”
I went up to my floor, and knocked on Paul’s door. “Cookies and ice cream in the dining room!”
Paul appeared at the door in record time. “That sounds great! Let’s go.” He actually went down the stairs without running into anything at all.
All was fine for our repast. Mother enjoyed having a young lady there, Paul cleaned his glasses to have a better look, then grinned stupidly every time Felicity opened her mouth. Hal was on his best behavior, but I noticed that he managed to sit the closest to her. I didn’t mind as I sat across from her and studied her closely. Yes, her healthy looks were beginning to appeal to me, I felt myself being reeled in. As for her, all of her conversation was a little on the ditsy side, but delightful. She charmed everyone in the house.
Mother was cleaning up after us, and said to me, “If you want to spend some time with her, I’ll take the clothes to the Laundromat.”
Felicity jumped right on this. “Oh no you won’t. I have my car here, we’ll just go together.”
Hal said, “I have some dirty clothes, I’ll just come along.”
I must have finally made a face, for Felicity looked at me, then smiled at Hal. “I think we can handle it ourselves, Hal. Why don’t you just bring your clothes here, and we’ll do them for you.”
Hal looked at me, decided against it, and said, “No, that’s alright, I’ll get caught up later.”
I grinned, ran up to my room, amazed at how good I was feeling, got the two bags of laundry, and flew back downstairs. Felicity opened the door for us, and Hal mouthed the words “Lucky guy,” to me. I was feeling much younger and very much healthier right at that moment.
Felicity got us to the Laundromat, and in no time, we were sorting darks from whites and making sense out of my wardrobe.
“You need some new clothes, After,” she remarked.
“I know that, and I’ll work on it. Listen Felicity, I am just now starting to work, I can’t afford things like movies and dinner out, and all of that.”
“I gathered that, so I guess we’ll watch a lot of TV, and Mother already invited me over for supper tomorrow night, while you were up getting your clothes.”
That was great! Mother, what a woman she was! We had four loads going, and Felicity sat in a chair to wait with me. I sat next to her, and sort of leaned back into the seat. “What do you do, After?” she asked, placing a tiny hand in mine.
“ I am a Private Investigator,” I replied, “I work out of Roy Mack’s 2nd hand store right now.”
“Do you have a case?”
“Right now, I think a case has me.”
“Tell me about it,” she whispered.
I started to give her the bare details, but about two minutes into my recitation, I found myself telling her everything, even about the scrap of paper that I had withheld from everybody else. Anything to keep her hand in mine. When I was done, she kept her hand right there, and was quiet for a moment or two.
She turned to look at me. “Sounds like you might need some help.”
I startled. “I might need help, but I don’t want you involved.”
“Well, maybe you could just discuss the case with me each evening, and I can learn, and you can throw ideas off of me.”
“I would like that, very much,” I said, looking at her.
The washing machines were finished so I reluctantly gave up her hand, and we went to the dryers, filling two up with the newly fresh smelling items I generally wore. She took a fierce interest in making sure everything was just right. As the clothes came out of the dryers, they were neatly folded, and organized. They had never looked better. I decided then and there to buy a few new clothes each week to try and upgrade a little…beginning with underwear.
We drove home, I was feeling on top of the clouds, and she was chattering happily about how nice the town was, that she had just been here a day or two, and that the phone call from me must have been Providence.
I said nothing, just enjoying the happy sounds, and we got out of the car. She insisted on seeing my room, and I led her up the stairs, worried about the squalor. Mother had gotten there ahead of us, the windows were open, a fresh breeze blew in, the curtains were blowing in the wind, and the bed was made, the dresser dusted. It looked passable after all. She reorganized my dresser, rearranged my closet, and sat down on the bed when we were finished.
“Thanks for calling me, After,” she said.
“Thanks for showing up last night,” I replied, “and today too.”
She kissed me lightly on the cheek, and suddenly embarrassed, took off out the door, racing down the stairs.
I ran to the stairs. “Wait!” I shouted.
She turned, blew me a kiss, and said, “I’ll see you tomorrow at supper.” Out the front door she went.
I floated for the rest of the evening, and slept like a baby that night.