Ask the River by Dan Wheatcroft - HTML preview

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Chapter 28

The mini pulled up to the kerb, lights out, engine off and the two occupants unbuckled their seat belts. There was silence for several minutes then the driver leaned forward and inserted a CD into the player. Noise filled the car.

 “Is there anything about this being a covert operation you haven’t understood, Si?”

Simon raised his hand in apology. “Sorry, it’s your fault. You’ve been twiddling with the knobs again.” He turned the volume down.

“Not enough.”

He turned it down again.

“Not enough.”

“If I turn it down anymore I won’t be able to hear it.”

“Good.” Nicks looked at him scathingly. “Have you got anything on that which sounds even remotely like a tune?”

“You want me to turn it off, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

Simon turned it off. “You only had to say.”

Silence once more. Nicks opened the glove compartment and tidied its contents. Satisfied, he closed it and sat drumming his fingers on his knee. Simon pulled a carrier bag from the back seat.

“What do you want? We’ve got a chicken and mushroom pie, ham and cheese with chutney on a bap, a packet of Worcester sauce crisps and a packet of cheese nachos.”

“What do you want?”

“I’m not arsed.” Si looked back at him.

“I’ll have the bap and the nachos then.”

Ten minutes later, the windows all steamed up, they brushed the crumbs off their pants and Simon gave Nicks a can of cherry cola.

“So what’re your thoughts about God then?” Simon took a swig of his drink then burped.

“Were we talking about God?” Nicks looked at him as if he’d just discovered he was sitting next to a vicar.

“No, but I just thought I’d ask.” Simon tended to do this, just pluck an idea or subject out of the ether or the dark recesses of his mind. Usually, he seemed quite normal to Nicks but when he was bored...

“God’s a spaceman,” Nicks declared.

“What? Where do you get that from?”

“Read the Bible. All those people pointing up to the sky and saying look there’s God. Think about it. What’s up there?”

“Clouds.”

“Beyond the clouds, Si! Space! Let’s reverse engineer this. Extraterrestrial. Definition; ‘of or from outside the earth or its atmosphere’. If you contend that God created the universe then he, she or it must be from beyond the planet, agree?”

“Well, yeah. I suppose so.”

“So, God is an extraterrestrial therefore in common parlance a spaceman or probably, these days a spaceperson. Next subject.”

“Yeah. I get that but ...”

The radio crackled into life. “Echo one...Traveller over.”

Simon scrabbled around then dragged the radio from beneath his seat. “Traveller go ‘ead.”

 The engine coughed into life; forced air blowing rapidly over the windscreen as he wiped it feverishly with his sleeve.

“Echo one. That’s it. We’re calling it a day. After tomorrow you’re on your own. We have another tasking, sorry.”

“Traveller...roger.”

They looked at one another. “Pub?”