The Crab Man Chapter 12 (Guys Night)
Shawna made up her mind that something has to be done with speeding things up with putting a very dirty bird in a very dirty bird cage where it belonged. She had caught wind of Detective Winters and Dr. Kedson’s screw up with antagonizing a poor comic book kid doodler and his mother.
Did they really think they would find a connection simply because of the word Dirty Bird used in one of his comics?
Her hands shook as she sat at the kitchen table and hit the Google icon on her smart phone. Shawna wanted to ascertain her facts just one more time.
She googled
Who is the original Spider Woman?
Sure enough a comic book came up starring Jessica Drew. But something just didn’t seem right.
Jessica Drew? Hadn’t the Psychiatrist stated the original Spider Woman was a black Librarian named Valerie?
Shawna scrolled down to the next article and then found the story of Valerie the Librarian. Valerie, THE ORIGINAL SPIDER WOMAN. That’s when she noticed the publishing dates. They were two years apart. Dr. Kedson was in fact correct. Valerie the Librarian WAS IN FACT THE ORIGINAL SPIDER WOMAN.
Okay I got something Shawna thought to herself.
Now how would a schizophrenic like Dirty Bird think? Would he be delusional enough to assume Valerie the Librarian might be right here in town? What important document did he have for her in which he believes Eddy intercepted?
There was only one way to find out. Shawna scratched down the first nearest libraries she found on Google maps. This was going to be hard. Prank phone calls were fun to make as kids but these calls were serious life and death related calls. There was no doubt in Shawna’s mind that Bob was delirious enough to misconstrue a librarian with the name Valerie as the original Spider Woman.
A man sounding in his twenties answered the phone. “Hello?”
Shawna got right to the point. “Hey I know this sounds kind of corny but is there a librarian that works there that is African American with the name of Valerie? Valerie the original Spider Woman?”
The student exchange student chuckled. “Did you just say Valerie the original Spider Woman? That’s a new one. Who is this? Did Becky put you up to this?”
Shawna got frustrated. “No sir I’m not trying to be funny. This isn’t a prank. I really need to locate Valerie the Librarian. The original Spider Woman.”
The librarian just chuckled. “I’ve heard of Batman and Superman. Even heard of Spider Man. But Spider Woman? That’s a new one. You working on a screen play or something? What does Spider Woman do?”
“Ummm…..she spies I guess…but a different type of spy. She spies for BOTH teams. She’s primarily known for broadcasting REAL news.”
Another chuckle. “Hmm…sounds interesting. I’ll have to check it out when it gets released.”
Shawna was losing patience. “Sir I’m not making a movie. I just need to know if a Valerie works there or if any other person in there that might be claiming to be the original Spider Woman?”
The exchange student lowered his phone chuckling yet again and shouted out to the other librarian.
“Hey Becky! You got any super powers? Lady on the phone here trying to hunt down the original Spider Woman.”
Becky put down some books she was placing on the shelves and played into the joke.
“Then I guess I would get to be married to Spider Man and sleep in a spider web? Sounds fun!”
Shawna had enough. She hung up on the phone realizing the librarians had no intentions of taking her serious. No intentions whatsoever at all.
Meanwhile…….(The basement)
Eddie punched the drywall so hard his fist went right through it. Fortunately for him it missed a wooden beam so he didn’t break his hand. Punching his own wall didn’t seem to phase Eddie much especially since he was as drunk as a skunk.
“I’m sick of this shit! This fucking Dirty Bird shit! This weirdo ain’t even worthy enough to be getting inside my head!”
The Crab Man went to punch the hole in the wall even wider but Trucker Z managed to stop him before he could land another punch.
“Yo chill baby boy we got this. Shawna upstairs making phone calls to them libraries we can’t have her be trippn’”
But Eddie ranted on amidst all four of his drinking buddies. Trucker Z, Ropie White, Smoke, and their new friend Kale.
“Nut ass dude dumped three bodies so far on my property like he be showing off. And for what? Cuz he believes I intercepted an important document meant for some Spider Woman in his comic book fantasies? Dude be trippn’”
Trucker Z just wanted to help. “What about your nephew? They find him yet?”
Eddie chugged his lager. “No”.
“You think Dirty Bob done sumthn to him?”
Eddie tried to think positive. “According to the shrink he doesn’t believe Dirty Bird got a thing for little kids. I’d just like to know how he was able to find out the couple that adopted my nephew. Not sure why the couple hadn’t tried to locate me?”
Smoke piped in. “Aww come on Eddie you know why. Your brothers girl was no good and you knew that from day one. She probably told the adopters all kinds of horrible things about you to the adopters just cuz she was mad at you for that bust.”
Eddie defended himself. “I had nuthn to do with that. Her own peeps ratted them out. She was as delusional as Dirty Bird.”
Smoke put a hand on his shoulder to calm him down. “Eyy Eddie we know. We was with you that night remember? It couldn’t have been you. That bitch was just always trippin’”
Eddie felt himself get rheumy eyed. “But I miss my nephew. We used to be having fun playing with them crabs and eating corn.”
Smoke rubbed his shoulder.“Hey we know. He gonna make a good artist some day. Once he gets older I’m sure he gonna find a way to find you. But for now, we gotta figure out how to catch this nut ass Dirty Bird without killing him since he seems to be the only one that knows where he’s at.”
Trucker Z grunted right into his Trucker blue tooth headset. “Damn. This dude already killed three bitches..cute ones too. I already put the word out to put a cap in his ass and now you’re telling me we gotta keep him alive?”
“Afraid so.” Said Smoke.
Trucker Z went on. “I ain’t never seen Eddie all messed up like this. It’s messing up his comedy show too ain’t that right Eddie?”
Eddie nodded then took another long chug of the lager.
Meanwhile….(Back upstairs)
Shawna was running out of hope. She had called at least 8 libraries and each and every one of them treated her like she was playing some kind of prank. She picked up the phone once more and began dialing yet another library. There was a slight knock at the door which gave her quite a startle. She put the phone back down on the table and went to answer the door.
It must be another one of Eddie’s friends she thought to herself.
As she opened the door she took in a deep breath first so she wouldn’t have to smell that stanky backwoods cigar smell that was always on Eddie’s friends. To her surprise there was no cigar smell but rather some upscale gentleman’s cologne.
A well dressed white man groomed with a neat looking mustache and a young boy by his side greeted her at the door holding a pillow.
Shawna recognized the millionaire from numerous TV shows and gaped in disbelief.
“Oh my gosh I know you! You’re pillow guy Mike!”
Pillow guy Mike gave a cordial smile and then quickly caught a newspaper he had on top of the pillow from slipping onto the floor.
“I am” he said.
Shawna quickly cut him off before he could explain himself. “I am sooo sorry! Eddie and I are going through some tough times right now. We really can’t buy that pillow.”
Pillow guy just chuckled while his son stood there and played with a homemade crab Man action figure made out of Legos. “I’m not here to sell you a pillow. I’m here to GIVE you a pillow.”
Shawna couldn’t hold back. She immediately stretched out through the threshold to give Pillow guy Mike a big bear hug. “Oh my gosh you are so kind! Eddie was just complaining about his neck hurting after that lunatic attacked him.”
Pillow guy Mike held up the newspaper and showed her the front page. Bold headlines in capitol letters read “DIRTY BIRD BECKONS THE CRAB MAN”
Shawna gaped in disbelief. “My man is in the papers already?”
Pillow guy Mike concurred. “There’s quite a buzz going around. Is it okay if I come in?”
Shawna grabbed the pillow and moved aside so him and his boy could enter.
“Oh sure. Everyone is downstairs. It might be a little smokey down there did you want me to look after him a while?”
Pillow guy Mike chuckled. “Oh no no no! It’s the whole reason we’re here. Todd here is obsessed with his action heroes and when we stumbled upon this newspaper he insisted he get a chance to meet THE CRAB MAN.”
Shawna chuckled. “The Crab Man. Even I don’t know the entire story behind it. Just know it has something to do with his nephew the Scribble Kid.”
She laid the pillow on the sofa and escorted them towards the basement stairs. Shawna shouted down below to give them warning first. Eddie’s friends didn’t like meeting steangers without being properly warned first.
Shawna used her playful voice. “Hey fellas. Some white guy here to see you!”
Eddie was quick to shout back. “Hey we done talking to the POH-lice for a minute. They already messing things up!”
She chuckled first. “This ain’t the POH-lice. There’s a celebrity here with his boy to see you. It’s Pillow guy Mike. You know Pillow guy Mike?”
It got immediately quiet downstairs realizing that Shawna might be serious.
“You’re kidding me! Pillow guy Mike from the TV?”
“Yeah! Pillow guy Mike from the TV!”
The fellas cheered to celebrate. “Yeah! Bring his white ass on down here. Been dying to meet him.”
Mike and Todd reached for the hand rail as they made their way down the stairs. Mike was excited but more excited for his boy. Not many fathers out there would get the opportunity like this to meet a real super action hero before they were fully known to the public.
When Mike reached the bottom of the stairs he had no problems whatsoever fitting in with the group. He quickly gave Eddie an official homie hug. At first it was okay but then Eddie yiped and jumped slightly back.
Pillow guy Mike immediately stopped. “I’m sorry did I hurt you?”
Eddie slightly rubbed a third degree burn just below his neck. “Ah no no it’s cool. I’m still healing up from third degree burns.”
Mike carefully inspected him with empathy. “Oh I’m so sorry did Dirty Bird do that to you?”
“Yeah how you know about Dirty Bird?”
Mike showed him the headline in the newspaper. Evidently Eddie wasn’t a newspaper kind of guy to even know a buzz was already circulating.
Eddie looked at the paper. “Oh so I guess that’s how you knew how to find me?”
Mike nodded while Todd showed off the Lego Crab Man.
“My boy Todd here loves all his action figures. Is it okay? Is it okay if we hear the story behind the Crab Man?”
Eddie gestured toward the sofa. “Oh sure sure if you have a minute by all means sit down.”
Mike and Todd took a seat on a striped sofa and right away Mike couldn't help but wonder if his factory could put together a better sofa but he kept quiet.
“So what questions did you have?” Asked Eddie.
“Well first how did you get the name Crab Man? It’s kind of cool sounding if you ask me.”
Eddie chuckled. “My little nephew gave me that name. He had an action figure almost like that one that he made himself. Had Pinchers like that one too. He used to hold his action figure up to me and say Uncle Eddie you da Crab Man. You gonna protect the bitches.”
Pillow guy Mike chuckled. “That’s cute. So how did your nephew know you would be in this debacle? Where is your nephew?”
Eddie told him the sad story from A-Z.
“I had an older brother that eventually died from a drug overdose. We had no father figure and our mother was poor so we had to figure out how to survive. My brother chose fast cars and drug dealing but I chose to work at the crab house where I basically handled crabs all day long while trying to babysit my nephew because he had unfit parents.”
Mike nodded. “This is sounding like a good story go on. Thought I heard your nephew being referred to as the Scribble Kid?”
“Yeah I gave him that nickname because I believed being an artist was in his future. I’d be loading them crabs while he be doodling all day. The Crab House was run by Italians that knew our situation and took care of us. Me and my nephew was tight.”
“So then where is your nephew? Where is the Scribble Kid?” Asked Mike.
Eddie continued. “His mother was the problem. She was the one that got my brother heavily into the drug business. There was a big drug bust and her and my brother got into some serious legal trouble. She came to my place of work and started trippin’
out on me calling me a rat and accusing me of calling the cops about their drug deals. She knew my nephew and I was tight so she snatched him up and took him away from me. She vowed that I would never be allowed to see him again.”
“So then she was neurotic? You really didn’t rat on your brother?”
“Of course I didn’t rat on my brother? Why would I do that?”
“So where is your nephew’s mother then? What happened to her?”
Eddie chugged his lager. “She too died from a drug overdose. I warned them both the heroine they was messing with was too strong and would kill them.”
“So what happened then? Prior to her passing did you try to hunt her down to find your nephew?”
“Of course I did. When I heard she went to the hospital I tried to track her down but it was too late.”
“Too late?”
“Yeah. Even all her medical records went up in flames before I could reach her.”
“Do you know who did it? Do they know who started the fire?”
“Nope never caught the guy. Witnesses say they saw a mysterious man dressed in black, wearing a fancy black hat.”
“Dirty Bird?”
Eddie shrugged his shoulders. “Could be”