CHAPTER FIFTEEN AN OLD LOVE STORY
On Sunday when Mike pulled away there was not a kiss – no three little words – no nothing – except like a second thought, a slight wave when he realized she was standing there. On Monday, life went back to normal, as Jim had predicted. The busses rolled in around five, dinner was served by seven, and dishes done by nine. The kids strolled off to the cottage and another game on the computer. Beth and Rob, slipped off for their nightly walk and Alex was headed for town, where he’d found a woman he liked.
The next day they did it all again, except they started with breakfast, and ended with the dinner dishes, cramming a hundred or more people through there in between. By Friday she could take being grounded no longer, she figured what Todd didn't know, wouldn't hurt her. She tackled driving the car, but that came after she mastered walking with one crutch, without his permission. Then she moved on to walking around without the crutches, at all. That he through a fit about, she couldn't remove the dirt from the bottom of the cast, so there was no way to hide her hikes. For which he did the only thing he could. He gave her a walking cast.
By the end of September, when Mr. B. called to discuss the court case, he had to wait for her to hobble up from the stable. When she finally reached the phone, only to be told that he was coming right down. She panicked, why would he not just tell her what it was about, over the phone, and why had he said that Jim had to be there? She didn't have long to find out. He caught the shuttle; flying into the Cedar City and was there in less than an hour, Jim meet him at the airport. Since, the house was full she met with him at Jim's. There was never a time she’d met with him that she didn't think he looked like Santa. Even when he told her that day, that he didn't trust what the outcome of the suite was going to be.
"That deed was a true find." He stroked her ego, "But in order to use it." He paused to look from her to Jim. "It may mean you will have to claim all of the land."
"What do you mean ALL of the land?" She puzzled.
"The deed says clearly that the land was bought by Emme, not Jonathan. So in fact he never had any right deeding it to anyone that Emme didn't want it to go to."
The idea hit her like a bat. She’d have to claim all of the original property, all of it, including Jims. "No. Don’t use it," She proclaimed, "that's not what I want."
"Emma, think about what you’re saying." Jim cut her off short. "If this is the only way—"
"It doesn't matter – you’re not to use it." She pressed her point.
"Emma let me finish, I only want to submit it to the court, in order to get an extension, and it will also give the Judge an opportunity, to see the tradition. And that's what we really want him to consider, not the amount of land in the original deed."
"So you can have him look at it without, claiming the other property?"
"Well, I can try, but the deed clearly indicated that Emme owned it, and the letter attached, that we really do want him to see … said that she had to pass it on to her Granddaughter but it also said ALL the land was included in the will. Not just part of it."
"You can't us it then –" she insisted, "I refuse to let it affect Jim's property."
"It'll also affect Mr. Harris's property, and whoever it is that now owns the property, that lies west of town."
"Do it." Jim demanded, "I'm not afraid of losing the land."
"Neither am I" She shot back "I didn't even know about this place six months ago, and it's brought nothing but problem since I found it. So why am I supposed to be upset when they want to take it away."
"Nothing but problems" Jim asked with a look of disappointment.
"No, I didn't mean." She couldn't stand the pain in his eyes. "I just meant." She choked back the tears, by staring up at the ceiling "I just don't want to see anyone else hurt by this."
"You two need to talk," Mr. Becksted, interrupted her. "Beth said she had a room for me, that's where I'll be." He said standing to leave. "We'll talk in the morning." Jesse gave him a ride up to the big house, leaving the two of them to stare at each other over the dining room table.
"I didn't mean."
"I know what you meant." He cut her off before she could finish, but he hadn't snapped.
Slowly she rose and hobbled into the warmth of the living room. She loved what Jesse had done with that room. Anywhere a person’s eye, were to light, there was another family picture. It was like walking through a living family album. The areas not cover with pictures, offered up candy dishes, trinket boxes, and a wide array of unused ashtrays.
Emma had one picture in particular, that she returned to repeatedly, it was very similar to a picture of herself, on her first birthday. The newspaper's use to print the first year pictures free, so probably every home in Utah had a similar one lying around some place; it was Jim’s baby picture, and Jesse had it sitting on the mantle above the old fireplace.
When she realized Jim was no longer sitting at the table, she limped back through the dining room, and on through the kitchen to the back door. Where she thought, he might have gone, to light up his pipe, but he was nowhere in sight. Stepping onto the back porch, she considered that her words may have hurt more then she’d thought Perhaps he’d left her there alone and gone off to find someone that thought about what they were saying, before opening their mouth.
She was kicking herself for opening her mouth, when he stepped out the door saying, "I thought you were in the front room." The hairbrush in his hand said all that needed to be said, but he asked just the same. "Can I brush your hair?" Suddenly she remembered what a mess she must look, especially if he was willing to attend to her hair. Beth had done a good job of teaching her how to wrap her sleeve inside her blouses, but she still had no chest. "I must look a mess."
"Not at all" He stepped to her side. "I just wanted to let you know, that I'm still here and still willing to help, if you'll just let me."
"I'm sorry. I should’ve thought before speaking." What had she ever done to deserve, such loyalty?
"I told you, I know what you meant, and I do. I know you weren't talking about me." He remarked gently turning her around to stroke her hair. “I Love the way your hair feels like satin." After a few strokes of the brush, he gripped her by the shoulders and pulled her back against him. "And I LOVE YOU." He whispered laying his head on her shoulder blade.
"Jim –" She turned to look him straight in the eye, the feelings were rushing through her body – Fear, Joy, Respect … Passion. “Oh," she laid her face against his chest, "God, help Me.," she whispered. Her heart pounding, "Jim, I–" He was the answer; she could just let him tell her what to do, let him make the decisions, let him…No she couldn't. She’d to do it herself, she thought, "I can't do this, I want you but."
"No," He pushed her back, "I'm not offering you a night, I want you by my side, now and forever, there is no one night stands for this guy." He turned and stepped away from her. "When you come to my bed, it's forever, or never. I won't be sharing you with no one."
"Wait, I think you misunderstood what I said, I said I want to but it's not right –" She turned to look back out the window. "Not right now, I–I couldn't do it."
Again, he wrapped his mighty arms around her and pulled her back towards him. "I know." He snuggled his nose deep into her hair, and whispered "I knew what you were going to say, even before I asked. I just needed to make my stand clear."
"I know there would be nothing less. I wouldn't ask for anything less myself, but you see that's just it. I'm still married, and until I'm not, even this frightens me." She went to move away, but he held on. "Jim, you’re pushing me past the point of return. Please." She could hardly believe that was her voice bagging him to release her. Every inch of her wanted him to hold her, to kiss her, to make love to her, but the tiny voice inside said differently.
With a deep breath, he said "Just a minute more. Then I'll let you go, PLEASE." when she nodded her head in agreement, he loosened his grip, but didn't totally let her go. Silence filled the air as they listened to each other breath, then as he dropped his hands to his side, he said "Remember you'll never have to ask me twice, to stay with you." He was referring to how she’d pleaded with Mike to stay. Backing away, she stumbled over an old trunk, and ended up, being caught by him and drawn back against his firm body. "Mom keeps telling me to move that." He righted her, looking down at the old trunk. "But I never thought it would get in the way of a cast."
It looked familiar but different to her. Racking her brain, she finally remembered where she’d seen one like it. Suddenly she realized where the 'Will' could be. "Jim, take me up to the old barn."
"The what?" he was lost.
"The trunk reminded me of one that's up there, maybe—"
"The Will" He exclaimed, taking her hand and pulling her towards the screen door.
A minute later, they were in his truck racing towards the old barn. She couldn't believe he was taking her there. She hadn't been there since hearing the voices. The only thing she was hearing right then was Jim; rambling on about finding the Will and how it would solve their problems. If only that were true, she thought, knowing better. Even if the trunk contained the Will, it wasn't going to solve all of her problems.
When Jim pulled to a stop in front of the large old building, she couldn't seem to get her feet to move. Approaching the wide doors, he turned back to discover that she hadn't moved an inch.
"I can't go in there." She answered his questioning look.
"Sure you can–" he walked back to her side. "I'm going to be with you." He went on slipping his hand around her oversized waist. "I don't know where it's at."
"It's by the back door. Pass the carriages and buck board, by the wall." She tried to talk him out of making her go in. "I'll slow you down." She continues looking down to her casted leg.
Swinging her around, to pull her close to his face, he said, "Nothing is ever going to hurt you, with me at your side." He was so sure of himself, that she found herself believing. If only he, knew the terror she’d experienced that day. "I promise you." He added looking into the depth of her soul. "I'll never let anything bad happen to you." With a deep sigh, she held tightly to his hand and led the way through the discarded items. Slowly they moved pass the buggies and the weathered wooden buckboard, and then sliding by an old plow she caught her cast on an old piece of rope and again nearly tripped into the relic of a trunk. Jim broke her fall, by pulling her back against him, with such force that it rattled her ribs, causing pain to shoot to her face.
"I'm sorry, Are you Okay?" He quickly brushed the hair from her face; biting her bottom lip, she nodded. "Don't lie to me." He demanded, "You only bite that lip, when you’re hurting."
"I'll be fine. There —" She pointed to the trunk, "That's it." His face was filled with disappointment. "What is it, have you seen it before? Have you looked in it?"
He only shook his head No, as he proceed to walk around the large wooden item. "The letters are missing."
"What letters?"
"Never mind, I'll tell you later." He answered reaching for the lid. A second later, he clicked the key and flipped the latch loose, and then he turned to look up at her. He didn't appear to be so sure of himself all of a sudden. She stepped forward and laid her hand on his shoulder, with a nod, said "It's Okay, open it." She’d no warning signs, no strange thoughts, and no indication of what was to lie on the inside at all. Reaching up to take her hand with one of his, he tipped the lid open with the other. Light sprung from the box, and the barn looked new. Jim jumped to his feet and clutched her tightly, crushing her face to his chest. She could hear the pounding of his heart, and the quick shallow breaths he was taking, but she didn't hear anything else.
Light streamed through his fingers, knit across her face and sunlight danced on her hair, causing her to feel the warmth on her head. His body was no longer tense and she could tell that whatever it was that he was watching wasn't going to hurt her. Lifting his hand from her face, she to become a witness to one of the most loving scene's she’d ever seen.
Just inside of the back door stood a couple entwined in each other’s arms, quite the same way Jim now held her. The young girl's face was pressed tightly to a tall dark man’s chest, where she was sobbing for all she was worth.
"He– hurt– me. I just couldn't stop– him."
"I know Liz. I know. He wants the stone."
"Grandma–won't, let him have it. Grandfather said I have to marry him. I love you–I can't marry him."
"You won't marry him." He pushed her away proclaiming loudly, "So help me God, you will not live with the scallywag."
"James it's his child" she lowered her head and weep loudly, "I can't expect…."
"You’re not asking me to." He yanked her face up, allowing the sun to shine on her darkened eyes. "I'm going to do it, because I love you and that means all of you."
"Grandpa won't let us. He knows it's Robert's, Grandma told him, but he won't believe that I didn't want it."
"It doesn't matter." He insisted pulling her close to him again. "We'll just run away, we'll go to the city, they can't stop us from getting married there. They won't find us there."
The girl simply sighed and snuggled even closer to the tall dark man. Her pale skin was contrast to his, as was his blue eyes, to her black ones. For all the differences they exhibited, the heart they shared was big enough to keep them together, for a lifetime.
Jim drew small circles on her back. When she looked into his eyes, the tear that had just slipped down his cheek made her realize how much she loved him.
Gently his counterpart, drooped to kiss the tears from Lizzy’s face, and then said, "I will put all we need into this trunk, and meet you here in the barn on Friday." With his last gentle kiss, the scene faded and they were left standing in front of the old trunk. Looking up at Jim, she whispered, "That was my Grandmother and your Grandfather."
"He loved her so." He commented, pulling her closer "I wonder why they never made it."
"Perhaps this will tell," she bent down to pick up a letter from the cluttered trunk.
Carefully she unfolded the fragile brown paper and read. She believed it was her grandmothers writing. It appeared from what was written, that the following Friday was their target date. There was no hint of problems, she spoke of how much she loved him, and a small water spot on the edge, Emma assumed was left by a warm tear of love. Lowering the letter, she looked up at Jim and said, "They loved each other so — it wasn't fair." He was so touched by her expression, that he cupped her face, and pressed his moist lips to hers. She didn't even have the will to pull free. She melted into his arms and drank of the sweet wine he offered.
"That does count." He whispered pulling away. He was referring to the way she always said hugs didn't count. "I'm sorry."
She curled her arm around her waist and bowed at the middle, not from the pain of her ribs, but from the chill, his absence had created. "Oh Jim," she cried with the hurt her heart was feeling, "I can't go on this way."
"I’ve hurt you." He pulled her close again.
"No, your arms burn my flesh, my soul will burn too." She turned from his longing touch, gasping for air.
"Emma," he caught her up against him again. "I've got to have you." The warmth he expelled was beyond any she’d ever known.
"NO–" she shouted pulling far enough away he couldn't touch her. “No." she again whispered, breathless, lowering her head, to look only at the dirt beneath her feet. "I can't make that kind of commitment right now. I'm not free to do so."
With that, she stumbled back to the truck and rested against the hood, he followed a few minutes later. After assisting her in to the truck, he climbed in the other side and lowered his head to the steering wheel. "Forgive me Emma. I nearly forgot myself in there." He looked to her for comfort, but the weight he felt came from his own mind not hers.
"Tell me about the letters you thought should be on the trunk."
"Forgive me first." He wasn't about to go on until she said she did.
"Jim, there was nothing to forgive. We both know that was right. It's just a matter of time."
He brushed her hair from her face, and she feared he would kiss her again, but he merely whispered. "You promise." When she nodded her head, the tears spilled from his warm loving eyes and he turned back to the wheel. "The day I first walked in on you, in your office, I saw her."
"Who" Emma asked
"You’re G.G.Grandmother, Emme." He paused running his hand around the wheel, "She was putting a hat box —"
"A red and white striped hat box" She interrupted him.
"You've seen it?"
"I saw her place several things in a large globe, with a picture of the falls painted on it and then put it into a hat box."
"A red and white hat box" He took her hand.
She nodded her head.
"I saw her put it in a trunk, with the letters E.C. engraved on the lid, and then she threw a large old quilt over top it."
"When did you see it?" She was confused, if he saw it why hadn't she.
"The day you offered me a job–" He responded, "Remember when I stepped in, you said, you thought you had given me one of your die looks."
She remembered. "You had such a strange look on your face."
"Because you look so much like her, I thought I was seeing double. She had a picture of herself and I guess old Johnny." He finished looking into her eyes. “You have the same black eyes that I fell in love with.” Raising his hand, he gently stroked her face with the back of it. "Perhaps we should sit down and tell all that we know of the story."
It wasn't the first time someone had called it a story, Beth had said she’d a good novel started, when she’d read Emma’s notebook, while Emma sleep after breaking her ribs, but she’d never thought of it as a story. "A story, Beth said the same thing, when she read my note book."
"You don't leave it laying around do you?" He asked starting the truck.
"No, I guess Mike had brought it in from the office." She wasn't sure how it had got to her bedside. "It doesn't matter though, if someone can figure it out, more power to them, I can't."
"I guess you’re right, it's their story. Maybe you should fill in the lost details, for me."
"Like what?" She looked puzzled.
"Like the way she got pregnant with Robert’s child."
"You don't know?"
With a strange look on his face, he sarcastically said, "Would I be asking, if I know?"
"I just thought that if you had seen the different things, well that you had seen them all."
He hadn't, so the first stop was at her office to pick up the notebook, and then on they went to his place, where after he got finished reading her notes, he looked impressed. They’d figured out James and Lizzy had fallen in love, but that old Johnny didn't think he was right for her, so he chased him off. Then on the night of the spring cotillion, Old Johnny had made her go with Robert, who proceeded to think that her hand for a dance, gave him the right to rape her. That was the sight of three of her visions. The disagreement she heard, told who was fighting over her and the stone, and the one they’d just witnessed told of the true love that the two of them shared.
"But if they had planned to run away, and get married, how did they both end up with someone else?" She thought it a stupid question, but it was the missing part to their story.
"Maybe we should be glad." He answered looking down at where she sat at his feet. "Or we could be brother and sister, right now."
"Your right, I've been trying to figure out how to change the past, ever since that first day. Maybe I shouldn't try so hard."
"My god Girl, what made you think you could change it. The past is written, no man can change it."
"Oh, I know, but it seems they deserve more than just–" She looked to him for the right word.
"I don't think they had an empty life. Just look, they each got married."
"Yah, for Grandma it happen twice."
"Okay, maybe her life would’ve been smoother. But if you had stopped the rape–Your father would’ve never been born."
"My God," She exclaimed sitting up. "I never thought about it that way. What else would be different?"
"I wouldn't be here either, neither would Mom."
No one she loved would be there. The depth of that act became more and more apparent as she continued to dwell on the thought. "And how different, would the world be?" She asked him.
"The story said that if the stone was to fall into the wrong hands."
"But it didn't, she said her grandma wouldn't let her take it. So that means—"
"It means that it's here some place." He said resting back into the chair.
"Jim, we can't let them take the land, we're the right people." She popped to her knees "We've got to stop them."
"Isn't that what I've said, all along?" He’d never said I told you so before "But not because I believe that story–" he leaned forward and brushed her hair down, then lifting her face to look down upon her he said, "Because I want you here with me."
That night when she returned to the big house, Emma told Mr. Becksted, to go ahead with his plan.