cover; they believe in magic and they convey positive principles
to the next generations. They don't eat meat and they avoid doing
any evil. The superior caste are witches, who protect all the
others without oppressing them or enjoying any special
The organization uses a huge tower as their seat. However, the
biggest part hasn't been built yet; only one and a half out of four
designed floors have been constructed. When the tower is
complete, most of it will be underground. The largest department
of the underground building will be the library, which will
convey essential knowledge to the next generations. The quarters
of the witches will be at the lowest floor, so that they are
protected from the nuclear holocaust which is due to happen in
the future. I can feel everyone is sincere here and I wish to live
with them...۩
Imagination = Reality: It's so many years I've been exploring
the real world in search of the truth, yet all I have found is fraud.
Mental anguish is born when we identify ourselves with
everyday life. Nevertheless, imagination and dreams are real life.
The worlds of dream and imagination are true. The so-called
“everyday reality” is a lie.
It is an indisputable fact that at the end of the day (life, reality)
we feel empty and tired. At the the of the night (dreams,
imagination) we feel rejuvenated, full of energy. When we
experience everyday reality, our mind can't roam fast; on the
contrary it is compelled to function as slowly as possible, so that
it can be controlled not only by us, but by society as well.
When we dream, our mind is free from the bonds of “reality”
and it roams about the astral plane at top speed. While dreaming
the brain functions normally, as if it received stimuli from
natural experiences – and this has been proved in scientific
laboratories. However, scientists haven't discovered yet what
sleep exactly is, nor why we need it so much...
Saturday, 27th February 1999
This morning I had an unexpected phone call from Persa: To my
astonishment I heard her say she came back to Greece two days
ago, having left University in England for rather mysterious
reasons: “The climate disagreed with me,” she said. After the
initial surprise, I showed a friendly mood and advised her to
become a teacher of English, while trying to hide the wild
satisfaction I felt as soon as I heard the news!
Really now, didn't it ill become Persephone to act the heavy
swell with University, thanks to her big money and special
connections? How would she ever be able to study in England,
since she couldn't graduate from high school in Greece due to
serious psychological problems? It seems that in certain cases
networks can't guarantee success...
Sunday, 28th February 1999
Prophetic Dream: I take part in an odd computer game and I find
myself moving inside its cyberspace. I pass through various
gates which lead to other places or levels, according to the
respective Tarot cards. Verification: As I will find out soon, a
similar computer game really exists! ۩
Early in the morning we prepared Josef for hospital. Then Alice
and I had breakfast together; there was gloom in an air, but the
child looked calm and quiet. At a moment he came near me and
sprayed some carnival foam on me. A little later we went out, to
the veranda, until it was time for my sister and nephew to leave.
Eventually the operation will be postponed for a week because
Josef has a cold. Moreover, mum is sick: her back and right leg
ache a lot due to a slipped disc and she must stay in bed for a
couple of days. Once again, everything combines against us...
Tuesday, 2nd March 1999
Drums of War: I begin to know “evil” and it fascinates me. My
mind has started to work differently and I like this. I don't feel
like a victim any more. In addition, I experience an
unprecedented inner balance: until recently, that I was
“righteous” and “good” (a sucker), I was easily hurt because the
others harmed me at any offered opportunity, while I felt helpless
and unable to defend myself effectively.
Nevertheless, ever since I changed my way of thinking and
began to sabotage them secretly, whatever they do or say to me
no longer bothers me because I know sooner or later I will get
even. Their offensive remarks sound ridiculous now: So, Mr
Manager, you are in a bad mood because I didn't interrogate
that bloke on the phone? But I hardly answer the phone, you
mean little man! I think and smile to myself.
The fact is that “good to evil” leads to practical and
psychological dead-ends. On the contrary, “evil to evil” offers
spontaneous satisfaction and equanimity. When I manage to
defend myself or pay back for the evil done to me, injustice
doesn't depress me so much. On the other hand, when I am “a
good girl” and stoically endure all kinds of maltreatment without
reacting accordingly, I feel awful and I end up hating myself. It
is only natural...
In general, “bad” people are more cheerful and lively, and they
have more self-confidence; as about “good” people, they are
often unbalanced and miserable because they feel like poor
victims, passively waiting for others to harm them -like sheep
destined to be slaughtered. Moreover, they often feel guilty
because they usually don't manage to forgive and love their
enemies -as it is dictated by religions.
Saturday, 6th March 1999
Josef had an operation on his leg three days ago. There were
metal blades implanted, but no bone was cut off; the surgeon just
brought the head of the thighbone in its place. This means the
boy won't have a limp, as we feared. Nevertheless, they have put
him in plaster from the chest down.
Early in the morning, mum and I went to the Children's Hospital
to spend the weekend with Josef. Alice can't stay sleepless one
more night, while the child is in a miserable condition: The
plaster itches him all over his body and it burns him a lot on the
butt; the boy is in pain, shouting and crying all the time. Every
now and then we help him lie prostrate and we scratch him or
put some ice cubes on his butt. At least, he seems to be better
than the previous days, when he cried and screamed
continuously, day and night. When night fell, we gave the child
some sedative and he slept for almost nine hours. That was
unhoped-for...
Sunday, 7th March 1999
Josef still suffers, while the nurses show an impressive
indifference -if not malignity; let alone they are puffed up with
conceit, even more than the doctors. Finally, after certain
complaints I made, they agreed to cut off some of the plaster on
Josef's butt and the child was relieved a little. He is still whining,
but he is getting better and better.
Lots of people came and saw Josef today: First, Alice's
colleagues from “Blue Rose”; then our cousins George and
Damian with their families; a little later the surgeon appeared
and wanted to see how the child was. He complained a little
about the crowd, but he seemed to be a nice and positive person.
In the beginning I was depressed by the atmosphere in the
hospital. However, as hours went by, I experienced a strange
sense of adaptability. In the end, I didn't even mind staying
longer! Therefore, everything is relative: When you are in a
hospital for many hours or days, going to the toilet looks like
fun! When you go out for a walk in the yard, that's a spree! In
any case, sooner or later we adapt ourselves to the surrounding
environment, no matter what it is like. Personally, I prefer the
gloomy environment of a hospital to a workplace!
Monday, 8th March 1999
It is Woman's Day today; Nineta, Helen, Xanthippe and I have
arranged to go to the taverna “Cavern” in Sourmena. The
environment proves to be very pleasant, and the impressive
decoration reminds of a cavern: There are stalagmites and
stalactites made of expanded polystyrene foam, lots of mirrors
and special effects, talented singers with a large repertoire of folk
and modern songs, a wide variety of good food. Tonight the
place is full of women who are having a wonderful time, singing,
dancing and saying ribald jokes -me and my friends included.
I was sitting comfortably at my table, when I turned to the left
and saw that a young woman, two tables away, was staring at
me. I recognized a vixen I often saw when I went to the gym.
Just like she often did then, she was now looking at me full of
irony and malice, constantly making faces at me. I tried to ignore
her but there she went on her hobbyhorse! She ignored her big
party -eight women in all- so as to make fun of me! Aren't people
crazy!
I stopped looking at the vixen and crossed my arms with the
elbows on the table. Every now and then I gave her the open
palm under the table – a fast and accurate gesture, discreet but
well-aimed. About a quarter of an hour later, when I had a look
at her table again, I was surprised to find out all eight women
were gone! Their table was completely empty, while it was about
midnight and the party was at full swing. I felt relieved and
cheerful...
We left the taverna at 3:00 am, when the music program was
almost over. I was feeling wonderful, so were my friends. As I
got out, on the street, I saw the handsome lead singer standing by
the door. I said goodbye and he asked us if we had liked the
program.
“It was excellent,” I assured him.
“I am glad you had a nice time,” he smiled.
Wednesday, 10th March 1999
I have often been disappointed by schools of spiritual
development up to now, however I am always willing to try
something new. So, this afternoon I attended a lecture on self-
knowledge somewhere in Kolonaki.
The well-dressed, middle-aged ' guru'' called Costas Sekeris,
didn't convince me at all. He talked about various platitudinous
subjects such as reincarnation, karma, love which beats karma
and so on. As about the listeners, about ten in number, they were
all over fifty, ugly or weird. The atmosphere was heavy,
repellent. I noticed a plump, disagreeable, slimy guy, about fifty-
five; he wore his white hair in a greasy plait and didn't take his
eyes off me even for a moment. As soon as the lecture was over,
I hit the road.
Friday, 12th March 1999
Early in the morning I got a phone call from Mary Glenos at
work and she asked me about Sekeris, if I liked him etc. Then
she announced happily the following: She bumped into an old
acquaintance of hers on the road yesterday, whom she hadn't
seen for years. They talked and talked, and she soon found out he
had attended Sekeris' lecture on Wednesday, where he noticed a
beautiful tall woman whom he liked a lot and he wished to
introduce to a friend of his! Mary told him that woman was
probably me, since I had informed her I would attend a lecture of
Sekeris within this month.
Finally, Mary proposed our going out to a taverna one night, all
four of us. In the beginning I was willing, then I started making
questions:
“Who old is the would-be groom?”
“He is about fifty, like my friend, but he is more handsome. He
has got neither protruding tummies nor a plait...”
“By the way, who was that acquaintance of yours who saw me in
the lecture? Was it a fat, nasty guy with a white plait?”
“Oh, don't criticize him like that! He is a very remarkable
person! It's just his appearance that makes a bad impression! I
have told him so many times! ' Your slovenly appearance cuts a
poor figure' I told him again, yesterday. He has a heart of gold,
“By the way, isn't there a young, handsome, interesting man you
could introduce me to?” I asked but she refrained from
answering.
Mystery No 1: I've lied to Mary that I have a love affair with an
imaginary, nice guy. Nevertheless, she insists on introducing me
to the aged friend of her aged friend.
Mystery No 2: Athens has a population of five million people.
There were about ten persons in the lecture of Sekeris. Mary says
she bumped into one of those ten, the most disgusting of all, the
one who was giving me the glad eye during the whole lecture!
What is the statistic possibility of something like this happening?
Isn't this a miracle? Let's get serious: Mary knew I would go to a
lecture of Sekeris on a Wednesday in March, and she made sure
her “old acquaintance” would be there too...
Mystery No 3: From now on, that obnoxious guy will appear
pretty often in Glyfada, usually at the bus stop where I wait for
the bus to work every morning. He will never talk to me or
bother me anyhow -strange, though...
Conclusion: All sects and schools of metaphysics are covers for
suspicious networks and Mary Glenos is involved with them up
to the hilt! She is connected to many sects without actually
attending any of them, and she is always trying to involve me in
any of them: Every time we meet, we always “happen” to drop
by some sect because she wants to say hello to certain old
friends, as she says; then she makes sure to introduce me to all
gurus and receptionists. Let alone the fiasco with the dance
therapy. In two words, Mary Glenos is a deceitful person I had
better avoid....
Saturday, 13th March 1999
This morning my friend Urania and I went to a seminar on
crystallotherapy in “Spiritual Harmony”. We talked about the
healing power of crystals, which can restore the balance of the
seven chakras, and it proved to be much more interesting than I
had expected.
The lecturer used a quartz crystal pendulum. By holding it
motionless above the chakras of a lying person, the quartz crystal
makes a circular movement if the chakra is balanced; if there is a
problem with the chakra, the crystal moves to and fro.
When she tried it on me, it was revealed that my chakras are
quite balanced, since the pendulum always made circular
movements. My “third eye” is pretty strong, and the chakra of
the neck (creativity) is the strongest of all.
When Urania's turn came, all her chakras proved to be
unbalanced, since the quartz crystal always moved to and fro.
While hanging above the two chakras of her head, the pendulum
didn't move at all. This means that Urania is a rather disturbed
person – probably because of her bad marriage and divorce.
In the end we were offered some crystals to our liking. I chose a
big pink quartz stone, which means a certain subject affects me a
lot -that is work, what else? A light brown stone with a white
circle formed on it shows that a circle of my life is reaching an
end, disturbing the chakra of the solar plexus (emotions). It also
means my life has taken a bad, dead-end path for years now and
for this reason I need tranquility...
Sunday, 21st March 1999
Night Adventure: Together with other people, I am inside a
satellite which orbits the earth. However, the night sky looks
weird: I observe various buildings and landscapes which seem to
be upside down in the concave sky – as if the earth were a
hollow sphere where mountains, seas, plains, cities, are all in the
interior of the planet, not in the exterior. During the day
everything looks normal, as the sunlight conceals the truth. Is it
possible that scientists have been lying to us about the earth and
the universe? I wonder.
Lucid Dream: I walk in the streets of a village and I ask myself:
How will I succeed in life? Next moment, a strange talisman
appears in my hand. It has the shape of a disc separated in twelve
sectors, and there is a different picture on each one of them. Each
picture represents a field of human life: family, work, love,
money etc, and there is a plastic demonic figure standing on each
sector. All twelve figures are repulsive: they look like ugly black
mice with big red tongues stretched out. I don't like the talisman,
I don't want to take it. Next moment, I find a small envelope in
my hands; inside it there is a debit or credit card...
Interpretation: The realization of serious ambitions in the
material world presupposes the alliance with dark forces.
However, my soul refuses to enter into an alliance with such
forces, even if this means I will fail in life. Besides, these spirits
don't offer real power: their figures are “plastic” and they
actually make fun of the holder -since their tongues are stretched
out. The round disc, separated in twelve sectors, surely
corresponds to the twelve houses of the Tarot. Every field of
human life is controlled by a specific demonic entity. Moreover,
something fishy is going on with all kinds of debit or credit
cards...
Monday, 22nd March 1999
Mr Tsamados (a 70-year-old University professor) arrives at
work smiling, with a bunch of red roses in hand: He offers three
flowers to me, five to Mary Bonanos and the rest of them (about
twenty) to Andromache -like he does every morning.
A little later, he starts making offensive remarks regarding my
clothes – today I am wearing blue jeans and a colourful blouse.
“Certain women come to work dressed as peasant harvesters,
whereas Andromache is very elegant in her gray costume!” he
says and gets on my nerves. Isn't he an old gossip! By the way,
Mr Tsamados and Andromache (who is 25 years younger than
him) are always dallying with each other. Are they going steady
or what?
The day proves to be rather tiring and exasperating: The phones
ring continuously, some people keep me on the line for a lot of
time saying nonsense, Mr Gryparis refuses to talk to certain
persons and I have to appease them by telling lies such as ' he
will call you back soon'', ' he isn't in his office at this moment'',
etc. Hours pass and I can't find the time to go to the toilet; none
of those harlots who happen to be my colleagues can sub for me
for two minutes, because they are all “too busy”, as they say. I
won't hesitate to complain to Nelly (who is said to be Mr
Spyropoulos' mistress) about that: “I remember, when Liliana
used to work here, everybody was eager to sub for her and keep
the telephone central, not only for two minutes but for an hour or
so!” – so the star had all the time she needed to drink coffee with
her dear colleagues.
“Have you been to the toilet yet?” Nelly asks me ironically, some
hours later. I certainly haven't. Right then, I stand up and run to
the toilet without leaving anyone in my position. This is what I
will do from no on...
Tuesday, 23rd March 1999
Another day in paradise: The telephone lines ring like crazy and
there is nobody on some of them; other lines, which are
supposed to be idle, ring and ring although their light isn't on and
nobody talks when I answer the phone. At about noon, Gryparis'
wife calls -once again- and complains no one answers when I put
her through to her husband.
Pretty soon I find out the whole company knows about that,
since everybody comes and throws out certain innuendos against
me. “If you had tried some more lines, you would have found the
correct one!” Andromache says arrogantly and disappears in her
office. At that point, I stand up at once and disappear into the
toilet, while the phones are still ringing madly! Andromache has
to run and pick up the receiver, mumbling: “How can one work
in here?”
This can't be happening; maybe they have “affected” the
telephone central somehow, so that non-existent lines ring
continuously... or, perhaps, they have various people phone me
every minute, without any reason, just because they want to get
on my nerves... I begin to suspect.
In the evening I go out with Mary Glenos and tell her all about
my recent adventures at work. To my great surprise, she takes the
bosses' side immediately: “You see how they make each one of
you do the work of two or three persons, so that they have more
profit? This is natural, you know: A businessman wants to earn
as much as possible!” … “In some European and American
factories workers have to wear diapers during their shift, so that
they never leave their post to go to the toilet! In this way, not
even a minute of work is lost!” I was taken aback by that
statement. Is it possible that such monstrosities take place in
modern companies? I think it is...
Friday, 26th March 1999
Modern concentration camps: The 38-year-old Christina, who
works in the Sales Department, comes to my desk at a moment;
we chat a little and she informs me she is about to get fired:
“Where shall I find another job now, at my age, with two
children? Bosses demand you don't grow up, you don't have
children...”
Work and education block human energy: Just when a person
reaches their prime, they have to enter the arena of work, where
everything is a foul play. All their energy is blocked in boring,
tedious, repetitive tasks and slavish behaviour. Soon they find
out that if they want to succeed, they must be cunning and
deceitful, sabotage their colleagues and lick the boss's boots.
Work makes human beings inhuman.
Workplaces (offices, laboratories, stores, factories) are usually
stuffy, depressing, muddy dungeons, deprived of sunlight and
fresh air. Moreover, there is this paradox: Managers and
supervisors are often incompetent, useless, yet very expensive
bibelots. Low-paid workers and employees are those who
actually work and run the company, while conspiring against
each other continuously, from dawn till dusk. Nevertheless, the
company grows bigger and bigger!
The system allows no latitudes for reaction: The starvation salary
I receive from Pangaea is legal, and it is legal for the employer to
charge me with as many tasks as he likes. There is no limit to
that. At the same time, there is terrible unemployment out there