I realized it was the noon. The sun was nearly overhead now and at its brightest. The packed compartment notwithstanding, I had slept for a long time. I wanted to sleep more and more. I wanted to sleep till I forgot the events of the previous night. But that was not to be. I sat in silence knowing full well that I should not be surprised to see either my face or Karthik’s face in either electronic media or print media or both. What stupid task I had done! I could have at least surrendered to the police after the heinous crime I committed. These thoughts and the guiltiness kept me troubled for the rest of my journey.
Finally the train had arrived at the Chennai Central Railway Station. I had to make my moves prudently. With little cash left, I had no option but to spend my first day in Chennai as a fugitive on the roads.
If I take out money from my father’s debit card, then I may be in trouble. I was on a lookout for my own face or for my victim’s face in front page of newspapers, at the railway station, where ever I could find them. The sweltering heat of Chennai during April would take its toll on me if I moved out in the open. Will I be able to sustain for long? I knew not. I was riding my luck.
I took a electric train finally from the Park station opposite the Chennai Central and reached Theagaraya Nagar, shortly called T-Nagar. With the aim of surrendering to anybody who identifies me, I moved along the bus terminus into the crowded market to find some food and a newspaper. I had scanned it thoroughly to find no news about me and Karthik. It means till now, the news has not reached the masses through print media. I have to see news for any mention of my act, the previous night.
Standing by the roadside and peeping into the tea shop where the shopkeeper was watching news, I remained hidden from his line of sight. I did not wish him to know that I was watching the television in his shop for the crime of mine, lest he identifies me the moment my face is put on air.
Half an hour passed. No news about me. That was good news. It gave me confidence. Now I will make a call to Delhi to inform my parents I am in Chennai to enroll myself in a college. I called their telephone number. Three rings...seven rings...eleven rings...no answer.
I mused, sitting on the roadside, the reason for them not picking up my call. Could they be sleeping? Or are they somewhere out. I will know that later. But first of all, I needed money and I could allow myself to use my father’s debit card now that I am not the cynosure for anyone. I had to hurry up for I knew it was a matter of time before the beans are spilt.
I rented for myself a cheaply priced room at a lodge nearby to spend the night. I could not sleep knowing full well that I was to be in jail the next day. The newspapers would surely put this in their issue, might not be on the front page but still people do read through the full paper. I had no escape.
The whole night I stared at the ceiling thinking the turn of events that had happened. I used to be a law abiding citizen - no more. I used to sleep at night – no more. And finally, my parents were not picking up the phone. What’s the matter? Had they lost the phone and waited for my arrival? But they would not find me in Delhi. That’s what I wanted to precisely tell them. I will again call them the next day, that’s the only option left. But what will I tell them? Should I plainly speak like, dad, I committed a murder and showed it off as suicide, or should I cryptically inform him the fact that I was no more a law abiding citizen?
My thoughts again drifted back to my problem, I had put myself in. I resolved to myself, the moment anybody caught me and knew I was a murderer, I would give up the fight to hide, the fight to survive.
I would commit suicide.
****
Inspector Dubey looked at Ravi and nodded. The video was paused. They both were thinking the same thing. Five years before today, a person called Kaushik wanted to commit suicide. Five years ago he had the mindset to murder anybody whom he thought was a danger to him. And today there is a body in the mortuary that could have been a case of suicide or that of a murder. The pen drive would single handed be enough to become the indisputable video evidence.
Ravi replayed from the last line Kaushik spoke, to continue the narrative,
I would commit suicide...