Light, except there is no light? Awake, am I awake? If this is a dream, I need better dreams. So let’s take inventory of what I think I know:
I think of myself as I, so I must exist. I realize that is a great leap of faith in my existence, but I have to start somewhere or I will end up a jibbering mess and I still will not have inventoried what I know. And, there I go again thinking about I and at least lending evidence to the idea that I truly do exist and am not an unthinking lump of coal. I do apologize to any lumps of coal that may be listening in on my thoughts and take offense.
I am really not getting very far with this self reflection and inventory; so far I have established that I am not a lump of coal and probably do exist. I do not seem to remember having a name, but I believe strongly that all things must a have a name or at least I think I do and let’s not get into that again. Even a lump of coal has a name. I will call myself the Exalted Ismael Rasputin Maphuti Robinowitz the Third. On second thought, that would be extremely difficult to sign or even tell anyone at the grocery store, so I will call myself The Steve, no wait, let’s just go with Steve.
I do not appear to be hurt. I say this because nothing hurts and seem to have all the requisite body parts, two arms, two legs, a torso and three heads. Just kidding, only one head, with the requisite number of eyes, ears, nose and mouth. I am not at all certain my eyes are working, maybe I am blind. Oh wait, I forgot to open my eyes. Blink, blink … blink. I can definitely blink and while it is not extraordinarily bright, it is taking some time for my eyes to adjust to the light.
Now that I have opened my eyes, this whole inventory thing should go much faster…
I do find it interesting that while I remember nothing specifically about myself, I still have the mental vocabulary to carry on a conversation with myself and remember the names of everything else. Or, I just think I do and if I climb down that rabbit hole again, I may never get past this and might as well be a lump of coal. Not that being a lump of coal is necessarily a poor existence, but I like to think I have more ambition than that. I just seem to have forgotten. Let’s just say I have amnesia and not look to deeply into that.
I also apparently tend to ramble on a bit. Good thing the human mind moves extremely fast, so while it seems like I have spent the last ten minutes contemplating my existence and various states of being a lump of coal, it all happened in less time than it takes to snap my fingers, which for the record I have ten. Ten minutes, ten fingers, ten toes and if I go on for ten more minutes like this I will most like begin to quack like a duck.
So, before I go on, let’s summarize in case anyone is paying attention; I exist, am human, not a lump of coal or any other by product of millions of years of heat, pressure and the decay of prehistoric plants and dinosaurs, with appropriate appendages, have amnesia, but am fixated on calling myself Steve and it is not dark.
Continuing to survey my surroundings, I observe that I am laying on a tiled floor that makes a nice chessboard pattern. I should probably get up and look around. I am in a room with a skylight, which is why it is not completely dark. I surmise that it is night as I can see some stars through the skylight, so I also must not be in a big city or the stars would not be visible. The walls are a nondescript grey, or maybe it is the lighting or a sub standard interior decorator, but boring nonetheless. In addition to the skylight I can see a perfectly normal wooden door. I assume it is perfectly normal as there is a small sign on it that reads “Perfectly Normal Door.” I think whomever put me here had a strange sense of humor. The room is about twenty feet by ten feet from counting the square tiles on the floor. There also are twenty Sacajawea dollars on the floor. I know there are twenty; I counted them each dead center in the middle of a tile. And strangely, they are glued to the floor. Apparently, in addition to all of my digits and appendages, I have a small notebook and mechanical pencil in my pocket and I drew this sketch in case the positions mean something later.
If I have pockets, that must mean I am wearing clothes. Apparently before I lost my memory I decided to dress for the 90s Seattle scene and am wearing jeans, a flannel shirt and some hiking books. In addition to the notebook and mechanical pencil, I also have a pack of gum and a generic Swiss army knife. I don’t want to read too much into this, but apparently I am also cheap, hence the generic Swiss army knife. So, using my cheap or maybe frugal knife, I pried all the dollars off the floor. Twenty bucks and if I only had a small bag or sack, I would have a Sack of Jawea. Yes, I know bad pun, but I am pretty sure I make those all the time. Instead I put them in my pocket, hence a pocket of jawea, thought it just does not have the same ring.
Well my self assessment and inventory of stuff took longer than it should have, but I think I am ready to see about getting out of this room.