I really should get out of this room, it is rather boring in here and I have a nagging sense that there is a greater purpose for why I am here than just contemplating my existence and the retrieval of dollar coins meticulously glued to the floor. So, what are my options? That really is a silly question, I haven’t even tried the door.
I walk over to the door, turn the knob and open the door. Well that was easy. Good thing I did not try to fashion a grappling hook out of my faux Swiss army knife and a rope woven of the fibers of my flannel shirt and escape out the skylight. That would have been a waste of time.
Looking out the door, I see that it is night outside and that I am not in the city. Not only is there no other building in sight, there are at least two dozen cows sleeping and dreaming of some tasty grass to munch. That is all except one cow who seems to be sleep mooing and I like to think having greater dreams of being the first cow superhero. Not that I have any idea what a cow superhero would do or that cows need superheros, I just thought maybe one of them had greater aspirations than eating grass and making milk or becoming a hamburger. Cows are tasty after all.
Steve, Steve snap out of it, this is no time to contemplate cow dreams, aspirations and the evolutionary advantage of cows being that they are tasty. We really need to get out of here. Have I really started to refer to myself as we, on second thought, I take one step out the door and fall flat on my face. Apparently I forgot to look down and notice the unconscious person laying in front of the doorway on the ground. At least I hope she is unconscious and not dead.
I check her pulse and observe that she is still breathing. Maybe she just fell asleep in front of the door. Ok, I agree that does seem silly. I give a quick once over and it looks like she also has all of her proper digits and appendages. She does appear to have a bump on her head, hopefully that was not from me tripping over her when I stepped out of the room.
As I ponder how to revive her, I hear a girl’s voice say, “Hey, did you just step on me?”
“Uh, what?” I respond hoping to not sound as guilty as I feel and add “Really, you had that bump on your head when I tripped over you.”
“So, you did step on me.” she said.
“Technically tripping over and stepping on are two completely different things, and can I ask your name so I can stop calling you she and her in my inner monologue or I will have to give you a name like Sally. Do you feel like a Sally?”
“How did you guess my name was Sally, I don’t think I look like a Sally, I always thought of myself as more of an Emily. Just kidding, my name is not Sally or Emily.”
“So then should I just call you: Not Sally?”
“Well, since you are a stranger and I am not supposed to tell strangers my name, you can call me Not Sally until I get to know you.”
“Ok, but that will definitely get confusing. By the way, I am Steve or at least that is what I am calling myself since I do not remember my name or anything about myself. Don’t tell anyone, but I have amnesia that only applies to who I am and what I am doing here. I have decided to not think too much about it and so far it is working for me.”
“Uhm, ok Steve, I’m good. So what am I doing here and if you didn’t give me the bump on my head, who did and why am I in front of this what I can only describe as a shed talking to a guy who calls himself Steve and me Not Sally?”
“Not Sally or NS for short, can I call you NS?”
“Sure.”
“NS, not only do I not remember my name, I don’t know why I am here or even where here is.”
“So, let me get this straight, we are stuck here in the middle of nowhere,” pointing around her, “and, neither of us know where here is or why we are here.”
“Right, though I prefer to think of it being merely adjacent to nowhere as opposed to the middle, though I would concede slightly off center of nowhere.”
“Awesome, so let’s take stock of the situation and figure out what to do next.”
“No, I’m not going down that rabbit hole again. We exist, I am Steve, you are not Sally, I have amnesia and we are lost. I think that sums everything up perfectly; so no reason to bring lumps of coal into it.”
“Steve, I never mentioned lumps of coal, so I am not sure why your bring it up, but now that you do mention it I do have keys to an SUV, which runs on gasoline, which is also a by product of millions of years of heat, pressure and the decay of prehistoric plants and dinosaurs.”
“Exactly, wait, what? You have a SUV?”
“Not mine per se. But yes with a GPS and slushy machine.”
“A slushy machine?”
“Ok you got me just GPS, but a slushy machine would be nice don’t you think?”
“NS, you are right, I could go for a nice blue raspberry slushy right about now. Mmmmm, blue raspberry. Wait, what, so we have an SUV?”
“Yes, I think we covered that, with a GPS.”
“Oh good, let’s take a look around the shed here and see what else we can find out before we head out. Are you sure it is a shed, there is a real nice tile floor inside.”
“Steve, I have not been inside yet and have not seen what may or may not be a nice tile floor. So let’s split up; you look around outside and I will take a look at this tile floor you seem to be so enamored with.”
“Deal.”
NS headed for the tile floor and I start walking around the structure. Looking up in the Sky I can see the North Star which puts the doorway on the North wall. Even being out in the country without lights, it is pretty bright as it looks like a full or nearly full moon tonight. I hope there are no werewolves out tonight. Anyway, the North wall is about ten feet wide with the door in the middle of it and not much else. Moving clockwise around the structure, the East and South sides have nothing of interest, but I do see the SUV NS spoke of on the West side. Looks to be a late model SUV with tires and suspension that could do some offroading. Speaking of roads, I did not really see one, just some ruts with grass growing between them leading up to the SUV. I will have to ask NS how she got here. I go back to the doorway just as NS was heading back out.
“Steve, looks like you were right. That tile chessboard floor is really nice, but it looks like someone left some nasty glue spots on a bunch of the tiles.”
“Right, the glue. There were a bunch of dollar coins stuck to the floor,. I pried them up, so in addition to the SUV, we have twenty dollars in Sacajawea coins.”
“Did you put them in a bucket? Then you would have a bucket of Jawea.”