Chapter 21
"John, thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to come by. I know we weren't scheduled to meet until next week," said Francis. "I'd really like to see you feeling better as soon as possible. How have you been doing with the self-hypnosis techniques I taught you last time?"
"Very well, Francis, I have been very faithful. Nurses and doctors are notoriously bad patients but I've been a good one. I've done what you asked me to ten to twelve times a day for just about a minute every hour or two, whenever I could, and I certainly feel better in my gut. My depression is lifting a bit but my eyes feel funnier than ever."
"Well, that's quite a bit of progress, John. As I mentioned last time, brief and frequent exposures to self-regulatory procedures such as clinical hypnosis, biofeedback, the Relaxation Response techniques and the like are often found to be more effective than doing them once or twice a day for say twenty minutes at a shot. By taking out a minute every hour or two you are weaving into your day a very healing experience and lowering the level of collected stress and tension and thereby keeping things from building up to where they physically or emotionally spasms."
"Your point is very well taken and I've experienced it, Francis. But what about my eyes?"
"That's why I asked you to come by, John. You have seen something and you can't look at it again."
"Is it seeing Beth dead in the water?"
"No, John, that's not my sense. I'll come right out with it. I get the sense that you've seen the killer."
John looked like a lightening bold just went through him. "How in the world could I have seen the killer?"
"I'm not sure yet. My sense is that you saw the killer and if you open up to it you will be able to recognize him."
"Recognize him? That sounds like a really tall order, Francis, and I'm sorry if I sound angry. It's more shock than anything else. How can I open myself up to this, Francis?"
"Well, John, I'll do some hypnosis with you here in the office and a little more Therapeutic Touch, but I think what will probably be most helpful is simply a little quiet meditation. One way of approaching it in both the yogic and Catholic Christian traditions is through a meditation technique Christians call Centering Prayer. You simply take a prayer word and gently say it over and over again to yourself for a while and often that prayer word slips away and your mind clears. It's thought to be a preliminary way of opening oneself up to contemplation. I see it as a way of opening oneself up to the profound energy that exists in the universe. In that energy is wisdom and courage. My thought is that you might want to spend a little time here at the monastery to do that. You can come over and sit in the oratory after your last patient in the evening for twenty minutes or a half hour. Do you think you can swing that?"
"I think so, Francis. It's not that much of a drive and I'm not doing anything else very constructive these days. Shall I start tonight?"
"Wow, you really are being a good patient. Please do. You can stop by for the Night Office at eight thirty if you want or if you don't make it in time for that just come into the oratory whenever you like. I'll probably be in there praying and, John, don't worry about anyone else who may be there or about any other sensations or presences you may feel."
"What is that supposed to mean, Francis?"
"It's not important; I just want you to be comfortable. The atmosphere is sometimes charged with a lot of energy in that oratory."
"I'm not sure if that comforts me or frightens me. Oh well, I've gone this far...."