Chapter 10 - What it means to be a Republican
The first moment I laid my eyes on the Republic was when I was about three years old, opening my eyes and realizing the world existed for the first time in the room of my parents. I was on their bed, there was a dark wall on my right. I was put against the edge of the wall and while looking left, I could see my own crib where I was usually laid on. It was dark and ominous, the blanket had vivid depiction of flowers on it. The room looked golden and the creaking floor was an indicator of another person coming to the room. The room was long and somewhat wide, It smelled of baby powder, baby food, and the chirping of parrots was somewhat faint. I think it was a gift from someone who thought I would enjoy it. The moment I had consciousness, I peaked towards the light of the room where there was an original sunset pouring into the room on the far right corner of the room. I do not know how I felt at the moment but that is the earliest memory I have of the Republic when I was born.
The second time I ever recognized the existence of the Republic was when I was about 6
or 7, and I held a view master in my hands. I took it in the same room, where there was nobody there, and started streaming live pictures there on the same bed. I can’t remember the images well but the machine was red, it fit in my hand well and when I looked around it was sort of dark in the room but there was comfort knowing that If I exited the room and walked towards the left, I would enter the backyard of the house through the living room where I can get any kind of help that I wanted. The house was relatively old but the kitchen was a few steps outside the livingroom to the right. When you entered the living room through the right side of the door from the bedroom, you entered the living room which in return leads to a larger room where if you were to head left, you would find a small room. The house had electrical cable problems and in 30
some places like the living room, exposed wires where it would set you ablaze. The TV sat on the right side of the live wires and in the back room where there was a double barrel bed, there as a window you can look out of. The room was often used for prayer meetings and all throughout my life, I was never allowed in the room for whatever reason. It was probably since they never let me roam the house alone. It was also most likely because the TV was there and I was not allowed to view movies by myself. My love for the Republic probably started there when I was left alone in the house for myself. I did not know it then but I would see the fault of man, I would go on to understand the fault of democracy and finally the failure of the government itself.
The house itself was kind of large, with a huge back yard. The house had a large space in the front yard where it led to a larger ground that was not kept well. There was a tree there where wild berries grew and the depth of the garden used to scare me to the core since I thought if I was left there by myself, no help would ever reach me considering I had small feet and I would not be able to escape the threat that would arise on the land. The house was big enough for a horse to live happily in since the grounds were so large. In the morning, the dew of the grass would gleam in the backyard, and the cold that emanated left you wondering if anything would ever change since no one would inhabit it. I think I grew to love it more when I understood not just humans but other animals such as cats and dogs that would enter the house through the cuts and loops of the yard, did not want to inhabit it but just cut through it. The yard was visible as the eyes could see yet, along with my youth, I was never fully able to explore it since I didn’t have the courage to walk through the vast land.
After the first two encounters, I loved my house and the environment that it encompassed. I grew to total consciousness after that, and as my age pushed forward, the encounters with the Republic became smaller and slimmer. I believe I was not fully aware that I 31
liked being alone until the first day my mother took my little brother out to warm him up in the sun. That was the first moment I realized I minded other humans in my house. I didn’t understand what sharing was nor did I know what hate was but I realized something was taken from me when the space I adored was covered with two other people who I didn’t mind occupying it. Before that I was glad to share my food, I was happy to share my bed and I even had arguments with other people about the baby's name. I delighted in the company of the infant that was hosting the house since other people came over to visit with foods and gifts. Some would bring tasty cakes from expensive stores, others would bring baby clothing and toys. The most consumable one as a result of the small cost was the fruits such as the oranges and bananas they would bring. We delighted in consuming the sweet treats in the house and even with the emergence of the new baby, I didn’t mind the objects nor the treats. Where there was conflict was in realizing the large spaces that I viewed, the spaces I wanted to see until I couldn’t were not occupied by another individual who would not leave.
Once the space was occupied, the realization sets in quickly that there is another government that is inhabiting the environment that you love. My consciousness fades well after that since it was mixed up in democratic concepts such as sharing. When I woke up again and the vividness of my memory went the other way was when we left the house to inhabit a new one.
The moment I remember was when I arrived at the unfinished gate of the house where there were no security wires on top of the walls surrounding the house. It was an afternoon and the sun was setting in the west, the left hand side of the door. The cement was drying and the electrical wires of the house were starting to be activated by the government. When we arrived, I still remember the smell of the fresh cement that was being removed from the grounds since construction was finished. The second living room was open for view and the inside was not topped with paint.