8
We stood there completely still. No one said a word.
Even when we came here to find the truth, however, finding the truth now made our hearts trembled.
Blood strain on the wall was an important key. It allowed us to know that the truth was near. In the same time, it reminded us that if we crossed this wall, we might be unable to return.
Ton racked his hair. He let out a big sigh before led me out of the kitchen.
“I know that you’d already decided.” He said. “But are you sure that you’ll keep going further now?”
I hesitated for a moment, feeling the fight between my logic and emotions. I could lie to myself and went back to live like I’d used to, expecting that the police could deal with everything for me. Or I had to keep going and saw the truth with my own eyes.
The truth that might destroy me forever.
I felt sick. The stress spread over my body. My nerves fried, sending the torment to my mind. I fell, seeing everything around me twisted and faded.
Ton came to support me. He touched his forehead before touching mine.
“No fever.” He released a sign and relaxed a bit. “You probably are over-stressed. Maybe we should stop doing this.
“I’m fine.” I shook my head. “I know that I’m scared, but I can’t back off now. If I do, this would never end.”
“When you look like this?” He asked. “You should know your own limit. This is too dangerous.”
I struggled to get up, pushing all of my strength to my legs. If I wanted to keep going, I had to prove to him that I was strong enough.
“Look like what?” I smiled. My face was soaked with sweat.
Ton looked at me with worry. He shook his head and let out another sigh before spoke.
“Okay.” He shrugged. “But I insisted that you shouldn’t overdo it.”
I nodded, so he continued to ask.
“And what’s your plan? What do you want from here?”
“I want to know exactly what did I saw. I can’t even remember it, why do I feel like it actually happened?” I pointed at the blood stain. “Like you see here. The blood. The message. The images I saw aren’t mere illusion.”
“I understand.” He nodded. “But how can we find something from here? We might have those strange messages and the blood stain, but we don’t know how to find further evidence.”
“But if we do nothing we won’t find further evidence either.”
Ton nodded tiredly then shrugged. He shook his head for my stubbornness.
“But at least we need a plan.” Ton said. “If we just walk randomly like this, I don’t think we can find anything.”
“Well…” I moved my eyes around. “Let’s have a look around first. We might find some clue.”
“Okay.” Ton said. “But be careful. I don’t think the blood strain can tell anything much but… the message. It indicates that the attacker might lurk around.”
“Um.” I nodded. “I want this to end soon too. This place makes me uncomfortable. Let’s split.”
I looked around, making a plan before said to Ton.
“I’ll look on the left side. My room was over there. You look on the right side.” I turned around and walked to the stairs on my left. Before I stepped on the stairs, Ton grabbed my wrist.
“Wait.” Ton called out.
“What is it?” I asked.
“The blood strain… Don’t you think it can happen again? You might be hurt again.”
“I understand,” I said. “But I think staying here longer is riskier.”
“Um.” Ton rubbed his chin and looked around. He knew that facing the attacker wasn’t like fighting with Bill. What we might face at any moment was far more dangerous. Ton realized that he couldn’t guarantee our safety.
“I feel that this place isn’t good.” He lowered his head a little. “Well, you take this. It’ll make you safer.”
Ton took something from his pocket and placed in on my hand. I felt a cold touch. The metal weight pressed my hand down a bit. I lifted it up, looking at a pocket knife Ton gave me.
“Be careful.” He said. “If you find something suspicious, just use it.”
“You don’t need it?” I asked.
“I’m fine.” He smiled. “I have another one. Remember that if you see anything strange, call me. I’ll go to you, but now we have to be fast and leave this place. Understand?”
Ton turned around, walked up the stairs on the other side and disappeared in the dark. I walked up the stairs in front of me and turned to the hallway on the left. I looked around for a moment before heading inside.
The wood cried. Spider webs covered everywhere. I walked slowly, scared of the uncertainty awaiting me. We don’t scare of death because of the parting. We’re scared of it because we don’t know where the death will lead us to.
Water dripping sound was in harmony with the creaking wood, shaking my nerve to no end. The fear alerted my every muscle. My heart beat crazily. It punched my chest so hard as if it was pulled out by an invisible claw. I had to accept that I was just a weak girl. Ton was the only reason I could still stand tall after coming in this place.
I stopped before a door. Water dripping was loud from inside. This used to be my personal bathroom and might be the only place that I could feel free. I used to hide in there for a long time to forget every problem waiting for me outside. Sometimes, I wanted to sleep forever in this locked room, letting the broken soul free. However, reality wouldn’t allow me that. Every time, I woke up with fear; fear that when the sun shines, my life would have to face another dilemma.
I let out a big sigh before opened the door.
Only the broken pieces of memories remained inside. The old mirror was covered with dust and dirt. The sink leaked. The white toilet was now dry. Everything was in the same place as when I moved out. They might be worn out, but I still could see the room I used to hide in when I had troubles.
I looked around for a moment, trying to find any clues. After a while, I had to give up.
Suddenly, I heard a call.
It wasn’t Ton’s voice. The voice belonged to somebody else I used to know.
The atmosphere started to change. The water sounded hitting the floor became louder. I heard wood breaking from every direction. The screeching sound was replaced with an innocent laugh from a child.
I was so frightened, but my eyes moved to the source of the sound. I slowly looked at my left side. The blurred and broken images were hiding something.
Someone’s shadow.
I stared hard to make sure that I didn't see things. The blurred images and the screeching sound started to fade. I moved closer. A lot of questions went through my mind.
That shadow was looking at me. It smirked and laughed playfully before ran into a room. That smile was strangely familiar.
It was the young Max’s smile.
As if enchanted, my feet moved on their own. My mind tried to stop them, but my body didn’t take the order. My legs led me to stop before a wooden door. When I saw it, a cold feeling ran throughout my body.
I used to feel sick all the time. The wounds from fighting with my Dad destroyed the light of my life. I walked on the road with disgust toward everything coming my way. When looking through my eyes, the world that everybody else believed it was so beautiful only contained with the ugliness.
I was frightened to awake to every sound at nights, even it was just a whisper. I often dreamt that I was pulled into an endless abyss. Only darkness hugged me. Only loneliness was my true friend. My eyes opened wide, scared of everything I saw before realized that they were not real things.
This door pulled my memories back to the surface of my conscious. Everything might end a long time ago, but I felt the torment from that time as if it had never ended.
I grabbed the doorknob tightly. The hesitation stopped me from stepping forward while the curiosity called for the truth from the bottom of my heart.
I didn’t fear the past. It was my mind that nurtured terrible things to grow.
The sound of the door grazed the floor sounded like someone was screaming. I pushed myself into the room slowly, used the door as my shield. Even I had prepared myself for coming here, but at this very moment, I was scared to know.
I closed my eyes tightly, took a deep breath, and pushed the door hard.
The room was empty. The child who ran in here disappeared.
I gingerly walked inside, looking at every corner of the room. This was my old room, but I barely remembered it. The furniture was moved out. Only emptiness remained.
I walked around the room once, looking for something that might relate to my illusion. In the end, I found only the silent.
“Why does that child run in here?” I mumbled to myself. “It’s as if… there’s something hidden in this room.”
I kept searching, trying to look at everything in the room no matter how small it was but had to give up eventually. This room didn’t have the answer I was looking for.
I sigh tiredly, brushed the dust off my hair and clothes preparing to leave.
Before I could open the door that was closed out of habit, someone knocked it.
Suddenly, I heard a scream. The darkness around me seemed to squeeze in. Everything went dark. The images became blurred. The knocks were slow and light, but it made my heart trembled with fear.
The illusion was there only briefly before disappeared.
I stepped back a little, thinking of the warning Ton gave me before he went the other way. I took out the pocket knife. Its tip pointed at the door, ready to take the life of the monster trying to come in.
I put myself to the door, hoping the person outside would leave but the knocking became even louder. I took a deep breath, holding tight on the knife. My other hand grabbed the doorknob, twisted it slowly, then, I charged out.
Right when the door was opened, the blade attacked its prey without mercy.
The man stood outside shouted in alarm. I closed my eyes tight while my hand swayed aimlessly.
“Hey! Dream! Dream! Calm down!” Ton screamed. I opened my eye slowly. The grab became looser.
“I gave you the knife, but I didn’t mean for you to harm me!”
“S… sorry.” My voice shook. “A minute ago, I saw… the illusion when I heard the knocks.”
“Illusion?” He raised his eyebrows. “Can you give me the details?”
“It’s not the same as before.” I put the knife away in my pant pocket. “Normally, I’ll see the illusion based on the place I saw from the photos but this time I just heard someone knocked. It was you, right?”
“Yes. I don’t want to frighten you.”
“It’s you that frighten me, idiot!” I berated him.
“Sorry, sorry.” Ton lifted his hands to stop me. “I won’t do that again, okay?”
I let out a breath with relief. The illusion from before might be from the fear I created.
“And what did you find in there?” Ton asked.
“Nothing,” I replied. “But before I went in, I saw a child ran into the room, so I followed him.”
“A child?” Ton raised his eyebrows. “Do you think that was a real child?”
“No, it shouldn’t be.” I shook my head. “Because that child looks like… Max when he was young.”
“Max?” Ton rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “You said that Max used to live around here, didn’t you?”
“Yes.” I pointed at the window. “His house is just on the other side of the street.”
“If you saw him,” Ton mumbled to himself. “Do you think it’s possible Max knows about your illusion?”
I moved up my eyes, trying to image Max hurting me. Just the thought made me want to laugh.
“No way. Try thinking about Max hurting me.”
He moved up his eyes before shook his head. “Probably not.”
“Anyway, what did you find on the other side?”
“Nothing.” He shrugged. “Just normal stuff and dust, and dust, and even more dust.”
I nodded, so Ton continued. “I’ve searched thoroughly but found nothing out of place, so I came to this side. Well, since I’m here let me have a look.”
He put his head inside the room. His hand grabbed on the door knob. He looked around for a while before stepped back.
He twisted the knob before stepping back. The door moved slowly, causing the squeezing sound.
Suddenly, something out of place happened.
I heard the knocking sound from the door on our back, resonated through the walkway. I turned to see where the sound was from but saw only dead closed doors. The environment changed. I was moved to the place I was now quite familiar with.
I was back in my old room, sitting on the bed that should be moved away.
In the moonlight shone into the room, the knocking sound was getting near. I retreated to the wall behind. My breath stuck. The fear was pumped throughout my body.
The knocks turned into hitting. I hold my breath without realized. Whoever was on the other side of the door didn’t mean well.
The hitting became harder. Suddenly, I heard the sound of a key unlocked. The door was opened slowly. The screeching sound of the wood was like the music that sang us to the eternal sleep.
I screamed on top of my lung, praying that everything was just a nightmare waiting for me to awake.
A long shadow came closer. Footsteps hit on the floor lightly. The monster in front of me was about to grant me death.
I shut my eyes tight, trying to close myself from whatever about to happen.
The footsteps got near. I heard panting sound in front of me and retreated back further.
He put his hand out. I tried to get away even when I knew there was no way out.
The moment he touched me, everything disappeared.
The touch from the cold fingers was replaced by a shake.
“Dream. Dream!” Ton shook me violently.
I opened my eyes slowly before looking around in confusion.
“You’re like this again.” His voice was full of concern. “I should stop you from the beginning. You shouldn’t be here. You really shouldn’t.”
“What’d happened?” I asked, feeling that my body was still weak.
“You went out again then you screamed.” Ton shook his head. “You saw the illusion again?”
“I… I…” I tried to dig out the memory, but it was blocked by something.
“I… I- I- I saw myself sat in this room.” The invisible wall blocking my memory was destroyed. I pointed at the door with my chin. “I sat locking myself in the room. Someone knocked then hit the door, trying to break into my room.”
“Sit down. You don’t have to say it now.” Ton supported my body. “You shouldn’t overdo it.”
“No. If I don’t tell you now, I probably can’t tell you ever again.” I said. “I saw that illusion when you twisted the door knob.”
“When I turned the door knob?” He turned to look at the door. “And when you opened the door, you didn’t see any illusion?”
I shook my head. Ton leaned me against the wall. He looked at the door and rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
“If you saw the illusion when I opened the door that means…” Ton looked as if he realized something. He took his mobile phone from the pocket and grabbed the doorknob with the other hand. He took a photo of his hand.
“What are you doing?”
“I think I know something.” Ton said, moved the camera here and there to get the best shot. “From the photo you saw and then this, the images that cause you to see the illusion, they all have some condition.”
“Condition?”
“Yes. Condition.” Ton put his phone in his pocket while looking at me. “Your subconscious might hide something. The person who hurt you might be a man because you didn’t see the illusion when you opened the door yourself.”
“But that’s strange.” I contradicted. “Why can’t I remember that someone hurt me? I just feel it. I did try to think, but my memory is completed. I can’t even remember people around here talking about this incident. They always gossip. There’s no way I won’t know about it.”
“That’s what I want to know too.” Ton rubbed his chin, looking upward. “How can you see that illusion when it had never happened? Maybe it hadn’t happened to you, and your neighbors have never known about this. You might see someone was hurt. What is strange is that illusion. It shows that you were wounded. Do you think it’s possible that you saw someone was hurt but were too scared to help? The guilt might cause you the nightmare and make you see yourself locked in there.”
“I don’t know, but my intuition tells me it’s not like that.”
“I can’t confirm that too. It too complicated.” Ton said. He looked at the other end of the walkway with a distant look “However, what I’m certain is the pieces that can lead us to the truth are scattered around this house. They’re hidden everywhere. Maybe in that stuff, I saw or maybe under the smoke on the wall.”
Ton looked far away. His eyes showed his worry.
“Everything can be a clue.” He whispered. “Everything.”