16
“Mr. C was first sent here because of his malice actions. On the surface, he seems to be a man with an ideal purpose, but you could never understand this man’s thoughts.” Doctor A smiled, inviting the other party to ask him a question.
“Why did he send here?” Doctor B asked.
“Can you guess?”
“Schizophrenia?”
“I’ll keep the answer with me for now.” Doctor A smiled. “What I was interested in this patient is his background. He had a good job. He was a man full of public conscious. You can’t imagine that a man like him can do something wrong, but he did.”
Doctor B nodded to let the other man continued.
“He likes to tell his stories to me over and over again. He chose to study Psychotherapy because he’s seen hundreds of people end their lives because of loneliness. So many people have problems but have nowhere to go, no one to lean on.” Doctor A stared directly into Doctor B’s eyes. “He insisted that he chose to be a psychotherapist to fill the holes in those people’s hearts. I admire him for this.”
“That’s good.” Doctor B noted something on the paper.
“But an action usually comes from reason. What do you think is the best motivation for him to choose this path?”
“I think seeing people suffering should be enough.”
“You’re not wrong.” Doctor A smiled. “But for this case, it doesn’t like that.”
Doctor B raised his eyebrows. “Does he want to be accepted?”
“No.”
“For some benefit?”
“Still not right.” Doctor A laughed lightly.
“Problem from the past…”
“You’re getting close.”
“I don’t know the answer.” Doctor B shrugged. Doctor A laughed.
“Problem from the past. That’s close.” Doctor A smiled broadly. “But it mainly wasn’t his problem. It’s more like the problem of someone he loved.”
“Someone he loved… his girlfriend?”
“I can’t define the relationship between him and that girl.” Doctor A shook his head. “But I know that he loved that girl deeply. It doesn’t matter in what form of love. Losing her was his motivation to choose this career.”
“Please continue.” Doctor B nodded, inviting the other man to continue speaking.
“He told me that he used to have a childhood friend. He and the girl used to sneak out to play together often. Up to this point, it sounds like a normal wonderful life, but it didn’t.”
Doctor A leaned back. His eyes stared absent-mindedly in the air.
“After reading this patient’s medical history, I learned that he grew up with family’s conflicts. He and his mother often came to the hospital with bruises covering their bodies. You probably know the cause.”
“Domestic violence…” Doctor B’s voice was a little sad.
“Yes.” Doctor A smiled lightly. “And of course, this problem came with alcohol and drugs. I later learn that his father used to visit the hospital I used to work to heal his liver. He drank himself to sleep. Sometimes, he even used heroin to avoid the hardship of his life. However, this is the interesting point. What do you think he used drug and violence for?”
“From what I often see, I guess he was pressured at his job and might have some problems with gambles.”
“Yes and no.” Doctor A tilted his head a little while laughing. “Yes, for the problem about his job, but he didn’t have any problem with a gamble or debt. Let me ask you another question. What made us us?”
“What do you mean, Doctor A?” Doctor B raised his brows.
“I mean what I said.” Doctor A smiled. “What made us the person we are today?”
“The upbringing.” Doctor B answered.
“Correct.” Doctor A snapped his fingers.
“But that’s not everything.”
“No, it’s not everything.” Doctor A nodded. “Genes, experience in schools, events that affected the mind violent are all involved and, sometimes, it’s that person’s nature. What do you call that?”
“Basic Instinct.”
“Yes. Sometimes, we can’t understand some people. They are born with certain character traits that can’t be found in the same environment. We also can’t explain why they do what they do, but these people are a minority.” Doctor A said. “The most important factor is, as you said, Doctor B, the upbringing. Mr.C’s father had grown up in a bad environment. He used to be abused and was bullied by the children his ages. That’s the source of his violence and weakness. He grew up to be a man without self-admiration. So, what was his choice in the end?”
“Abuse weaker people.”
“That’s right.” Doctor A nodded with satisfaction. “He chose to vent out his frustration on his wife and child. He could feel that he was still someone when he hurt his boy and the woman he loved. He felt that in doing so, his lowly self would become higher. He felt that he was still a decent human when he could show his power.”
Doctor A was silent for a while. Doctor B took note on the paper.
“But what’s interesting is if the factor you said is really the right one, why do siblings with the same genes, grow up in shared environment, face similar experiences, choose a different path of life?”
“It might be as you said, their natures are different.”
“Yes, they’re different.” Doctor A leaned forward. “And I still haven’t told you what factor makes two people’s perspectives different. It’s like when we hear the same words but define those words differently. Why is that?”
“Sometimes, I don’t think we can understand something like that.” Doctor B replied.
“Why do the children with similar upbringing have different perspectives?” Doctor A was silent shortly. “Allowing yourself to do something wrong as you wish is easy, but it need a lot of bravery to get out of that circle, and most people are too weak.”
Doctor B nodded while he was writing down on the paper.
“It’s an easy principle. Sometimes, we don’t want problems in our life, not every problem can be seen as a challenge. Family issue is one of them.” Doctor A said. “If you go and ask both children, ‘why do you choose to live your life as now?’, what do you think the answer will be?”
“I don’t know.”
“I want you to guess.”
“The answer probably is… because he grows up like this, so he just does it like this.”
“Correct.” Doctor A snapped his fingers again. “It’s easier to push the problem to others. It’s even easier to let yourself flow with how the social wants to paint us. We don’t have to force ourselves. We don’t have to go out of our comfort zone. However, that’s what I’ve been wondering about. What if we always follow the expectation of our social and environment? Where will they bring our life?”
“That’s a difficult question to answer.” Doctor B nodded.
“Yes… it’s a difficult question to answer.”
“And about your case?”
“You can’t wait to listen to the story of my patient, huh?” Doctor A laughed. “As I told you, my patient grew up in a violent environment, but that isn’t the reason he chose to scarify his life for others. For Mr.C, the main reason was his neighbor.”
“How does this have anything to do with what we’re talking about?”
“My patient believed that having the same experience made him and the girl understood each other.” Doctor A said. “They often sneaked of their houses to talk. They liked to share their problems and things in their lives. When we share the same experience and understanding with someone, the relationship will grow faster than usual. You probably have tried to tell a story to someone so that they’ll reply with, ‘yes,' ‘that’s it,' or ‘me too,' right?”
Doctor B nodded. Doctor A continued.
“Mr.C tried to maintain his suffering so he could feel that he helped lighten her burdened. However, for the girl, the problem she faced was what forced her to end her life.”
“That’s the reason Mr.C chose to be a therapist?”
“Yes.” Doctor A nodded. “He thinks that his friend’s death is his fault, so he tried to help others to lessen his guilt. Ho chose to advise and heal patients who were children and teenagers rather than adults because of the loss in his childhood. You should have guessed which group of patients he was the most dedicated to.”
“The girls from her age.”
“Yes, and more importantly, the more a girl looked similar to his friend, the more he would sink into their problems.” Doctor A closed his eyes briefly before asked a question. “Now, can you guess why is he sent here?”
“Obscenity.”
“Yes.” Doctor A smiled.
“Why did Mr.C choose to do that?”
“Sometimes, we look at thing around us with a different perspective. The longer the time passes, the more different we look at that thing.” Doctor A lowered his head a little before asking. “From what I told you, you should know now what my patient’s illness is.”
“No, I don’t know.”
“No.” Doctor A shook his head. “You know the answer very well.”