1
“Doctor B, what do you think is the most reliable thing?” Doctor A asked.
Doctor B rubbed his chin, deep in thought.
“In myself, of course, Doctor A.”
“And where do you think your thoughts come from?”
“I believe because I’m confident,” Doctor B replied.
“You’re not wrong, but I think there’re something more than that,” Doctor A smiled.
“And what’s that thing?”
“Just guess. Come on.”
Doctor B rocked his chair backward, crossing his arms tightly.
“I’m confident because I believe in what I know.”
“And…”
“I know because of the data inputted in my memory.”
“Exactly,” Doctor A snapped his fingers. “But do you think our memory is that reliable?”
“Why are you saying that?” Doctor B raised his brows. “If we don’t believe in our memories, what should we believe in then?”
“Well, you’re not wrong,” Doctor A smiled. “In fact, there’s so many information for us to choose to believe. To believe something, that data must be reliable enough for us. That information must be reasonable for our senses and must be repeated often enough too, or we have to be emotional enough. We have to have enough faith in that data.”
“I agree with that.”
“To put your life into someone else’s hands isn’t a good idea, so memory is our most trusted backup. However, I’m asking myself, is that really true? Is our memory that reliable for us?”
“What do you think?” Doctor B’s brows rose.
“Human is a complicated being, but in that complication, something simple is hidden.” Doctor A tapped his fingers rhythmically. “We believe we’re the most intelligent being on earth. A logical being with complicated thinking system, but, sometimes, we’re surprisingly stupid.”
“What do you mean?”
“Let’s go back to the memory. We all know human prefers emotion than logic when making decisions. Reasons come later. In some cases, reasons are just mere pretenses.” Doctor A tapped his fingers faster. “We choose to believe first, then, find some reasons to support our beliefs and make them trustworthy. When time goes by, the seed will grow into a big tree, and the beliefs that have been repeated both through information and emotion will give us faith.”
Doctor B nodded in acceptance, invited him to continue.
“When you were young, you would feel that your classroom was so big! However, when you grew up and saw the bigger world and came back to stand in the same old place again, you would feel something had changed. The room that was so big became so small. If I’m not clear enough, I’ll give you another example. You already unplugged the microwave before you leave the house. After a short while, you started to wonder whether you had unplugged it or not. You go back to check and see that you’ve already unplugged it.” Doctor A opened his hands. “Memory is something that can be twisted all the times. You’d never known if the thing you now believe in is truth or a lie.”
“That’s reasonable.” Doctor B nodded. “But what you just said are of your memory and your beliefs as well. We can go on because of them.”
“Exactly.” Doctor A snapped his fingers again. “Like I said earlier, they’re the most reliable things we have. But for myself, I won’t absolutely believe in them.”
“Then, what do you believe in?”
“I believe in myself. We all are.” Doctor A smiled.
“I started to get confused.”
“Well, let me ask a question then.” Doctor A said. “Do you believe in God?”
“God? I don’t think so.”
“Why?”
“Who can prove that God exists?” Doctor B shook his head. “I only believe in things that can be proved.”
“I’ll ask you another question. If you look up at the sky at night and can’t see even a single star, will you insist that the sky is empty?”
“No.”
“That’s it! It’s just like the God thing. It’s unprovable. The answer is unprovable fact. You can’t guarantee whether it’s true or false.” Doctor A smiled. “Now, let’s go back to my theory about belief. Like I said, I believe in myself. Most people do because nothing is more reliable than our own memory. However, I want to point out one thing. Human is a fragile being. We can be led rather easily.”
“You’re right.”
“We used to believe that we own everything in our life. However, that’s not the way it is. Not completely. There’re so many factors we can’t control.” Doctor A leaned forward to Doctor B. “We call these uncontrollable factors ‘fate’. Something occurs from so many events in this world lay on one another without any structure, without control. We, human, have our own thoughts, more or less. Our decisions affect everything around us. When the actions of someone, or the change in the world itself, comes to meet, that’s the time of fate.”
Doctor B raised his brows. Doctor A paused then continued.
“Have you heard about the following theory?”
Doctor B shook his head. Doctor A’s smile broadened.
“I heard about a research which the participants needed to answer questions without telling them that, within the same sample group, some of the participants were prepared by the researcher earlier. The researcher gave the same questions to all participants. The prepared participants would give the wrong answers. After that, the researcher would call the real participants to answer those questions. The sample group would be divided into 2 groups. In the first group, the researcher would ask questions without telling what other participants answered. The second group, the researcher would tell them what most participants’ answers were.”
“And then?”
“I want you to guess the research’s finding.”
“The research’s finding… The first group would give the answers that they really think while the participants from the second group tended to follow others’ answers.”
“Correct.” Doctor A snapped his fingers. “The result is exactly like you said, but that’s not what interests me.”
Doctor B’s brows rose. Doctor A smiled broadly then continued.
“My question is… if we insist on the wrong information often enough along with an environment to support it, for people who have the right pattern thought, will they follow the lead?”
“That’s an interesting question.” Doctor B nodded. Doctor A laughed openly before keep continuing.
“There’s also something else I want to say. Human is a social being. We thought that we own of our life, but like I said, that’s not exactly right. Social has a strong effect on us, so strong that it can command us. It indicates how we should live our life through something called fear. We do things according to what we’re expected to do by those around us. People who won’t adapt to the globalization will be hated by the world. No matter which way we choose, a part of our life will be taken away by the social.” Doctor A paused. “Belief. Fate. Love. Preference. Memory. Everything is contaminated. We are shaped by what surround us until we become who we are now. The person we believe we really are.”
“Your theory is indeed interesting. “ Doctor B took note on paper. “But what do you want to tell me today?”
“From all I’d said, I want to tell you about a case I took care of.”
“Go ahead.”
“Do you know why I chose to be a psychiatrist?” Doctor A tilted head a bit. “It’s because I’m interested in human’s mind. The twisted mind is what frightens normal people, but it’s strangely alluring. I wanted to know about it. I want to understand it, and, of course, I want to cure it.”
“That’s a good notion.” Doctor B nodded while took note on paper.
“What I’d learned to make me believe that everything starts from here.” Doctor A pointed at a side of his head. “Brain controls everything: taste, touch, smell, sight. It’s also the source of our feelings. If our brain is twisted, we, too, will be twisted. I think I don’t have to keep repeating this. You should be familiar with patients with twisted perceptions, right?”
“Yes.” Doctor B answered. “But I’m ready to share my information with you.”
“I used to work with a patient who lost sight even when both of his eyes function normally. However, his brain was damaged so he couldn’t tell what’s in front of him. There was also a patient who had the wrong perception of his surroundings. He believes that the world has only the right side. His left arm was perfectly fine, but he hasn’t aware of it. These things are fact in their eyes. We can never actually understand them, yet we’re responsible for taking care of them.” Doctor A said. “Even these symptoms are frightening, but they were incomparable with the case I’ve recently met. Human’s mind and memory are truly mysterious.”
“What kind of patient had you met?”
“That was one unforgettable patient.” Doctor A smile. “But for the sake of a psychiatrist ’s ethic, I’ll use a pseudo name. I’d already asked to use his case as a study case. I met a lot of patients, but he was truly one of a kind.”
Doctor A sat properly. He moved closer to Doctor B. His face was decorated with a smile of happiness.
“Come closer, and I’ll tell you about it.”