Discipline
Children also need to be disciplined and discipline is good for them. You need to set boundaries as to what they can and cannot do. You need to be consistent with this so that they clearly understand what the boundaries are, as they start to learn the difference between "good" and "bad".
Whether you decide to smack your children in reprimanding them I don't think matters a lot, unless you take it to an extreme. My daughter was never smacked, not once that I can remember, and my son was only smacked a few times when he was three or four years old. It wasn't what I wanted to do because of my own upbringing. I preferred to reward them for good behaviour and only tell them when they had done something wrong, but making sure they understood that I was not happy with their behaviour.
This brings up another important point. There must be a clear distinction, in reprimanding them, between condemning the person and condemning the act. You need to be careful with your choice of words. Saying "That was naughty" is very different from saying "You are naughty". In the second case you are telling them that they are a naughty person, and you don't ever want them to believe that. Even if they are naughty a lot of the time, telling them that is not going to change their behaviour. Condemn the act, and not the person. You let them retain their self esteem while at the same time letting them know and making sure they understand that their behaviour was wrong. You can also take away privileges they normally receive as an alternative way of penalising bad behaviour.
Self discipline is an essential requirement for success. It is the ability to put off short term pleasure in order to achieve more beneficial goals. With self discipline you are able to force yourself to do the things that you know need to be done, regardless of how many things there are that you would rather be doing. It allows you to focus your mind and your energy on the goals you have set for yourself, and persevere until they are achieved.
Encourage your children to do things that will build self discipline. That can include playing sport or a musical instrument, or being responsible for looking after the family pet, or keeping their room tidy. Minimise the amount of time they spend watching TV and make them turn the TV off when the time is up. As soon as you can, set up a bedtime routine that they have to follow every night which requires them to do everything required to go to bed and go to sleep without parental involvement.
There is a good correlation between the requirements of being a good parent and the requirements of being a good junior sports coach. At the back of the book I have included the set of guidelines that US Youth Soccer produced "for handling 10 common coaching situations". I think it is better than anything else I have seen in Australian junior sports coaching manuals. Have a look at these recommendations; many of them are about discipline and are also directly applicable to good parenting. here
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