Positive Parenting: Make Your Children Winners by B. K. Narayan - HTML preview

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Positive Parenting—Secret to

Raising Successful Children

 

Dear friend,

Think of all the crimes, tragedies, wars, we humans have suffered so far. Then ask why these happened?

You will find that the single most important reason behind these tragedies is “Parenting Failure.”  For example...

  • Children treated with heavy punishment and insult became cruel warmongers and even dreaded criminals.
  • Children who did not receive enough love became selfish and insensitive to others' needs and happiness.
  • Children who did not receive enough praise for their good deeds but received lot of criticism for their faults could not develop enough confidence to set and achieve meaningful goals—and were condemned to live an ordinary life filled with many problems.

You can find evidence for such things even with casual enquiry into lives of unhappy people you know.

Now think of all the good things, inventions, we humans have achieved so far. Again ask, “What is one important factor that worked behind these marvelous things?”

Answer…?  It is “Positive Parenting.”  Want proof?

Just have a peep into lives of friends who are happy and nice people.

You will find that most of them experienced happy and positive parenting, at least by one parent, mother or father.

Don't worry, if you are facing any problem with your kids.

Because it is not your fault. It is a system failure.

The most important things we need to know to lead a happy and successful life are not taught in formal education!

Big Education Blunder?!

Here are some of the important tasks that should be taught in schools but are simply excluded in formal education:

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  • How to find our life partner and live together happily, romantically till end
  • How to live harmoniously with others and our environment

We do these most important things on trial and error basis. And most of us end up with lot of errors—failures, drop-outs, suicide, drug-addicts, unhappy marriages, divorce, sibling rivalry, crime, murder and all other unwanted experiences.

Smile Please :)

Because now you can protect your children from the above sad experiences. You can make them confident human beings, better students, successful achievers and give them strength to fight against failures. This ebook makes it easy for you to accomplish one of the most important task of your life—parenting. It offers you valuable ideas, suggestions and methods to become a Positive and Successful Parent.

After all, it's a dream of every parent to see their children enjoying successful, happy and peaceful life.

But dreams remain dreams if we don't take right actions to make them real. So let's start taking actions to turn your dreams into reality.

Let's begin by understanding how various sources make children ordinary or extraordinary persons...

 

Three major sources that program children to be Ordinary or Extraordinary persons

Children are mainly programmed by three major sources—parents, teachers and others. 'Others' includes relatives, friends and medias, etc.

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end up living an unsatisfactory life.

Why criticizing results in negative programming

Usually, no one deliberately 'programs' a child to become ordinary or problematic person. But, most of the time these sources pay more attention on mistakes and deficiencies of the child with the intention of correcting it.

And unfortunately, such actions create opposite affect.

For example, most parents never miss a chance to correct mistakes of  their children. But they rarely praise good work and behaviour of  children. Similarly, teachers point out all mistakes in student's work but don't praise the good part of students' work.

This kind of actions make stronger impact of incorrect things on the children's brain and weaker impact of correct things!

Due to such repeated focus on deficiencies or mistakes, children develop weak self-mage. This weak self-image does not allow them to think and act like a winner.

So if your children aren't doing well in studies or in other areas of life, then you can be sure that they have been negatively programmed!  Luckily this damage can be REVERSED.

 

Corrective steps to reverse the damage

You can take this corrective action today. Just follow these steps:

1. Visit web site www.successmindware.com and download chapter 1 of part-1 of Success Mindware. It's free.

This chapter helps you to do two things: testing your children to know whether your children are programmed to succeed or not and then to change their self-image to be that of a winner. This chapter is useful for every one—as most of us aren't programmed think and act like winners!

2. Follow the training system given at the end of the above 1st chapter for at least 21 days, the more the better. Use the different cards given at the end of chapter as per the instructions.

3. While visiting the above web site go to articles page and read all or at least these three articles:

“How to get what you want by using your brain in GDSM mode!”

“5-Solid Reasons Why Any Normal Child Can Be a Genius!”

“If Edison Can Become Genius, Why Not Your Child?!”

4. Read and use the time-tested smart parenting methods given in this ebook—to transform your children into winners.  Start now…

 

How to Build Your Children’s Self- confidence

Self-confidence is the ultimate power. It gives courage to 'see off' difficult times and the strength to achieve success.

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Start today, find something to praise your children regularly. Like...

“My, you learn so fast.”

“Your handwriting is good.”

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Notice their every little and big good work. And praise them for their efforts, even if there is no result. So when they remember spellings, praise. When they answer questions, praise.

This is what we call 'positive programming.'

Your encouraging words 'program' your children to do more and more good things, without shouting. And automatically!

We humans have very big appetite for praise. No indigestion, ever!

Think about it, how much you love your spouse's praise for your achievements? You may also be thirsty for it.

Want more? Then praise your spouse for her or his good work, irrespective of whether it's big or small.

The more you give the more you get—in life, business and in any human transactions. And when parents love and respect each other children feel safe, better, and enthusiastic.

However, there is one thing that you should remember.

When you are praising your children (or anyone else) make sure that you do it at the right time. The right time to praise is immediately after your children have done some good work or have behaved properly.

If you find it difficult to praise all the time, then look into your children's eyes and smile happily when they do their work right. This will also convey the message.

Frankly, the simple truth is that children who get enough love feel good about themselves, develop more self-confidence, and achieve more success in life.

But remember, don't praise without reason. Don't exaggerate too much. Otherwise your children will grow up expecting praises for things which they haven't done.

What if the good things are rare?

Then create situations. For example, ask your children to help you in some work, which they can do, and then praise them for their help.

1. Make them RESPONSIBLE for their actions and life

Encourage your children to do some household work depending on their age like—cleaning their room, hanging their clothes neatly, setting tables, watering plants, making their own beds, etc. If your children are older, you can ask them to help in cooking and washing dishes.  Praise their effort, ignore their faults!

Even young children can be assigned the task to keep their toys back in their place.

Doing work around the house gives children a sense of responsibility. It teaches them the important habit of finishing the work they start, and helps them develop self-esteem.

2. Teach your children to be kind and helpful

Encourage your children to help others whenever possible, like their classmates and friends. Ask them to share things with their siblings.

The act of helping others instills good human values and increases the feeling of self-worth in children.

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When you see some character helping others in the story, immediately comment positively on that action, so that the incident gets registered strongly in your children's brain.

3. Turn Mistakes Into Opportunities for Improvement

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Similarly if they don't do any work properly, focus on teaching them the correct techniques of doing that work, instead of berating how stupid they are.

4. Don't Complain to Your Neighbor

Many parents criticize or complain about their children in front of other people, that too right in presence of their children.

“She does not read at all. I have to tell her so many times.”

“He is poor in math. He always scores less in it.”

Can you imagine how children feel when their parents do this?

It is plainly embarrassing, even humiliating. Frankly, it does nothing to improve children's performance. It only lowers their confidence, apart from making them angry at their parents.

Hence it's a good idea to keep a check on what you say when you speak about your children with others.

If you really want to talk about your children with neighbors or other people, then talk about their good qualities. Discuss their good performance, especially when your children are present on the scene!

For example, if your son brings home poor math report but has got 'good' remark on his English essay, then talk only about English. Say, “My son is good in English. He got good remarks for his essay.”

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Your positive remark, that too in front of other people, will not only increase your children's confidence, but will also satisfy their need for approval. Bringing a happy smile on their faces.

Happy children are more inclined to listen to your instructions. And are more willing to improve on their weaknesses and behaviour.

5. Support Their Interest

Encourage and support your children's good hobbies and dreams.

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And who knows, your children might carve a successful career for themselves out of their hobbies and interest. After all, many people have done this.

6. Avoid Pampering

Avoid pampering and spoiling your children with too much love. Try not

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If you want to help your children develop strong self-image permanently, then click here to get Chapter 1 of  part-1 of Success MindwareTM  for FREE.

This chapter contains powerful information with simple training to help your children reprogram their brain positively and develop a strong “I can achieve anything attitude.”

 

How to Help Your Children Excel In Studies

Children who perform better in studies enjoy more advantages than those who don't. Like—getting admission to best colleges easily and more career opportunities. Hence help your children maintain good academic record.

Here are 10 ways to help your children excel in studies:

1. Give Them A Good Start

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  • Read aloud stories from books. This helps to develop reading and imagination skill in children.
  • Talk a lot with your children. This helps to develop language skill.
  • Put on music for young children. Teach them to sing simple songs. Research is showing that music is not only good for overall health, but it is good for brainpower too!
  • Explore things with them, like—toys, various objects at home, plants, flowers, etc. See, touch, turn around the objects in your hands along with your children. Ask questions and discuss the objects playfully. This helps your children to learn more about their surrounding world.
  • Answer your children's questions. If you don't know the answer, then try to find it out together.

Above steps are useful in developing intelligence and learning skill in children. In fact, most of them work even for newborn babies!

2. Have a good library in your home

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Display books prominently in the area where children see most. Why not have a beautiful showcase of books just near the TV?!

Then you can read few pages of any good book in front of your children, or along with your children, so that your children realize the value of reading.

Start reading frequently or even daily, if you aren't doing it already. This will benefit your children immensely.

3. Link School with Fun

Many children don't like to go to school. Hence, you can use some simple tricks to arouse their interest in school.

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These kind of questions would make your children aware of enjoyable things in school.

Such questioning creates an impression in children's mind that school is not just about teachers and studies, but it is also about friends, play and fun.

Also, if your children don't like to go to school, then check whether they are having any problem at school (for e.g. bullying.) Then try your best to solve it.

You can also ask the teachers to help you in such cases.

4. Let them dance to their own Rhythm

Every child may not like to get up early in the morning or do homework right after returning from school.

Some like to play first. Some like to study at night, some at morning. Then there are children who want complete silence during studying, while others don't care if there is silence or not.

Let your children study at a time when they feel comfortable. Let them study in a style they like—what matters is that they should complete their study work on time and learn the study material properly.

5. Don't Do Negative Programming

  • “You are so lazy, you don't do your homework.”
  • “You are dull, you don't remember anything.”
  • “Study, or I will shut you up in your room.”

If you think these kind of remarks will make your children reach eagerly for their books, then forget it.

More probably, they will be hurt and angry. Even if they do reach for their books, they will not be reading it happily.

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Hence do your best to avoid such negative remarks or actions that hurts your children. Instead, use positive methods to influence your children to study. You will learn more about positive methods in next few paragraphs.

6. Replace Scolding with Selling Benefits!

Children get easily distracted by TV and games. Parents have to repeatedly remind them to sit and study.

Once a parent told us that his son did not study regularly, even when he scolded him repeatedly, “Study or you will fail.”

We asked him to use another trick. We told him to remind his son to study by saying, “Study well, you will live a rich life.” Soon his son scored 85% in exam, which was a big improvement over his past performance!

Frankly, scolding is not known to give good results.

But we have witnessed miracle-like transformation of disinterested students into top performers, when they were made to realize that good performance in studies leads to rich life style. And poor performance leads to poor living.

No Child Wants to Live a Poor Life!

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Also, show your children living examples among your relatives or friends, who are living a better life due to better education, and poor life due to neglecting their studies.

And whenever you have to remind your children to study, do it in a positive way.

For example, you can say:

  • “If you finish your homework, you can face your teacher with a smile.”
  • “Study well, you will enjoy successful life.”
  • “Study more, you will realize your dreams.”

This kind of tactics help to remind your children to study without spoiling their mood or hurting their feelings. In fact, these kind of tricks work with even teenage children.

However, if your children are very young, you may need to use some additional tricks to get them to study. Because young children become easily distracted.

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Sometimes, children are not in the mood to study at all.

During such time, it's better to leave them alone for sometime, unless they are behind their study schedule or have to prepare for a test.

7. Help Your Children to Use Better Study Methods To Learn Fast and Score High

Success in studies depends very much on mental attitude and use of smart study methods. Our experience shows that even a failure or average student can improve his or her performance by using better study techniques.

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Hence we can say without exaggeration that...

The secret to study success is to

use Effective Study Methods

Here are some of the effective study methods which will help your children improve their academic performance...

A. Set Target

Help your children to decide EXACTLY what grade or marks they want to score in the next exam. Make sure, they set practical and realistic target.

Then ask them to write it down in a notebook or diary.

B. Create Study Time-table

Help your children decide for how many hours they want to study each day and prepare their study timetable accordingly. Guide your children to create a practical study-plan which would help them divide their free time properly to accommodate these three things:

  • Studies
  • Rest
  • Play
C. Study Plan

Help your children to create a study-plan which will help them achieve their  target.  Ask your children to use these steps to create a Study Plan:

  • Syllabus: Find out what syllabus or topics are going to be included in the exam.
  • Important Topics: Find out what topics or lessons are important. Which topics carry more points or marks in exam. Your children can find this out by—(1) asking teachers, (2) by paying attention in class, especially, when teacher says “this is important.”

Then make sure to highlight that topic, with a pen, in the textbook or special notebook.

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img2.png Best way to answer: Find out what is the best way to answer the type of questions which are asked in the exam. There are four ways to find this out:

  1. ask teachers
  2. ask senior students
  3. ask smart students in class
  4. through practice
D. Take Action

Now, help your children to put their plans into action. Which means, they have to do these four things:

  • Study regularly: Encourage your children to study regularly at home, using their study timetable. This habit of studying regularly helps to avoid many problems.

Even studying for 1-2 hours everyday can work wonders.

  • Revision: Make your children revise their lessons frequently. This need not be a long revision. Your children can do quick revision by just going through important points instead of reading the whole lesson word by word.

Frequent and fast revision is the best remedy to solve the “I can't remember it” problem.

  • Practice solving questions: All exams involve writing. Your children can write answers easily and quickly in exam only if they have good practice of solving questions and writing fast answers.

Hence encourage your children to practice writing answers by solving mock questions or model questions.

  • Look after health: A healthy body and sound mind is important to perform better in studies. Healthy, nutritious diet combined with 7-8 hours of sleep and daily exercise for 30 minutes, is a good formula to keep your children fit and alert.

Above methods are practical and easy to follow. They help your children to study properly, use their time wisely, and prepare better for exams. For more powerful study techniques, you can refer our popular book: 251 Study Secrets.

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However, the best thing about '251 Study Secrets' book is that it is written in short, up-to-the-point manner. So that children can learn more by reading less!

You can find out more about  this best selling book by clicking here.

You can buy the book online at www.flipkart.com or www.amazon.in

8. Encourage Your Children To Be Curious

Answer your children's questions. If you don't know the answer, tell them, “Let's search for it together.” And search for it in books at home. Or bring books from library. Or look it up on internet.

Such actions will make your children realize the value of knowledge, expose them to methods of searching for information.

And will also make them happy that you care enough to answer their questions!

9. Connect Learning With Day-to-Day Life

We had once gone to picnic with a group. In our group there were one couple with two young boys.

As we were traveling on the road, the father pointed out, “Look, that is the area where mining is done. You have a chapter on it in your science textbook, isn't it?”

His two boys looked out of the window excitedly and began rattling off, “Yes, we have studied it. The name of this mining area is…”

By pointing out the mines, the father had brought the topic out from the textbook into real life, thus making it more interesting for his children. Indirectly he made his children realize that what they study in books have value in real life.

Whenever possible, link what your children study with every day life. Show it to them.  Find ways to use the information in daily life.

If they learn about plants, ask them to study the plants in the garden. If they learn about animals, take them to zoo. Pay visit to museums and science exhibitions. Now this may not be always possible. But do this whenever you can. Try to make learning interesting.

10. Give Them The Edge

Thousands of students pass out of college every year. How can your children stand out from this mass of degree holders?

How can your children survive and succeed in this age of cut-throat competition?

You can give your children an edge over others by giving them additional, practically useful training. Like, training for...

  • using their mind power more efficiently
  • using better study techniques
  • learning skills essential for career development
  • sharpening creativity
  • managing stress
  • developing good personality, etc.

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If you want to give your children this kind of practical training...which they can do sitting in the comfort of their home, then click here to learn more about it.

 

How to Protect Your Children From Depression, Stress and Suicide

In recent years, our world has changed a lot. There is now more competition. More pressure. Children today have to study more and work harder to achieve success than what we did 20 years ago.

All this inevitably creates stress and tension in children. As parents, you can do a lot to keep your children away from the harmful effects of stress. Here are 7 methods to protect your children from stress, depression and even suicide:

1. Never Compare With Others' Performance