LESSON - CDJ - "BECAUSE IT HAS TO"
I prepared to enter my office from a main hallway. Delirium was no longer a state but a way of being. Time was not lost as an element of days or nights. Everything was sliced up into doctor visits, hospital tests and Lizeth's well-being. And the status of the baby, the unborn Orlando.
Life, as of late, was a series of emotional gears and I was being ground between them.
As I prepared to enter my office, I wondered how disheveled and busted I must have looked. At best, I probably looked like hell.
CDJ, with his eternal deacon of a presence looked at me and smiled. He knew of the concerns. He knew of the exhausting hounds of worry that had plagued this pregnancy.
CDJ said "Hey man, everything is going to be alright."
And I felt a tear-filling question mark rise up inside of me. It was not a terror born of bad news but a fear created from the sheer not-knowing.
"CDJ, how can you be so sure?" I think my voice broke. In my words, only exhaustion could have come out.
He smiled again and it looked like he should be passing a plate or fanning a church mother with a Martin Luther King Jr. / JFK fan.
"Because it has to be."
And that logic made me nearly weep. Because it made no sense at all - he was no doctor. He had no test results in his hands. And that logic nearly brought me to tears - because CDJ was speaking from faith and faith was the only prescription I had left.