Have you ever confided in someone and then regret- ted it afterward? Have you ever opened your mouth and been met with a blank stare rather than empathy and reciprocal vulnerability? If this has happened to you, I’d wager that you stopped being open and vulnerable with that person from that moment on.
The same is true of our interactions with our kids. Have you ever heard a child or teenager say of their parents, “They just don’t understand?” Of course you have—you’ve probably said it yourself. The feeling of being misunderstood by one’s parents is widespread, and it’s usually due to a vulnerability gap. The only way to let your kids know that you really do understand is to be vulnerable—and that means saying what you’re holding back.
This can be surprisingly difficult, but just do it. It only takes a few moments of courage to say something meaningful that your child may remember for a lifetime. That authentic statement of love and appreciation you’re thinking about, but hesitating to say, could be the game changer in taking your relationship to a new level.
Our experience has taught us that fun is the secret sauce of all successful Board Meetings. Raising kids can seem like serious business, but the ability to have fun with your children is a crucial ingredient for creating connection.
If you can’t let go and enjoy yourself with your kids, they’ll notice. Even in an environment they enjoy, they’ll pick up on your stiffness—they may even feel slighted by your inability to have fun with them, or assume that you’d just rather be somewhere else.
Sadly, many of us have simply forgotten how to have fun, or only know how to have fun in an “adult” way, like having drinks with our friends. One of the best things about having children is that they can remind us of just how freeing it is to be child-like. To let that happen, though, you need to relax, let go, and accept them as your teacher.
Many of us can’t imagine letting ourselves be guided by a child because we’re accustomed to our role of guiding them, but there is nobody more qualified to teach fun than a kid. Every single child is born with a Ph.D. in fun!
Let them be your teacher. They will love and respect you for letting go and playing with them, but don’t do it for them. Do it for you. Do it because play feels good. It’s vital to a successful Board Meeting, it’s vital for your relationship, and it’s vital for your life, so get into your fun zone the moment the Board Meeting starts.
You must, absolutely, have fun.
At the heart of all these tips is a single idea: if you’re going to hold Board Meetings, then give yourself over to them completely. Commit fully—not just in time, but in your focus and your emotional presence.
Board Meetings are simple and powerful. But if you’re not prepared to execute them with consistency, love, and passion, they can become meaningless just like any other empty ritual.