When I was a high school student I had read a
novel, Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe, the
African writer. It depicted a Nigerian tribal
village that was stable for centuries but
quickly and utterly crumbled after the arrival
of colonialism.
There is a similar corollary in our own lives. In
a heartbeat, things in our life can fall apart
and the reality is that they can and do, as can
be seen from these three of the many true
stories.
One of my good friends was standing at a busy
intersection waiting for the lights to change.
Beside him there stood a middle-aged lady and
a grey-haired gentleman. We did not expect
this glimpse of our mortality.
It was evening rush hour, dusk was upon us
and everyone was in a hurry as usual. Traffic
whizzed by centimetres from where they were
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standing, staring across the street at the
pedestrian signal. When the lights changed,
each of them instinctively began to step off the
curb to cross the road.
An instant later, they were all reeling back
against each other. A delivery truck, trying to
beat the light, sped past them centimetres
from the curb and through the intersection
against a very clear red light. The wind from
the speeding truck slapped their faces. Had
they taken another step, one or more of them
would have been under the wheels.
The three strangers were brought briefly and
intensely together at the intersection and were
bonded by their shared close call with death. I
heard them briefly counting their blessings by
shaking their heads in disbelief at the red-
light runner and then hurrying in their
separate ways.
Things could have fallen apart for one or all
three road users and I could not help but
wonder how many centimetres stood between
their close and catastrophic adventure?
Last year when I was in Los Angeles spending
my healing time with the family of my brother,
things fell apart close to their home. A young
lady across the street, a sweet natured, always
smiling, high school student was driving
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home. It was just her routine trip until she
came to a dip in the road where water tended
to collect but this day because of the freezing
temperature the young lady could not judge
the hazard of the frozen black snow. When
suddenly she applied the brake the car
skidded and hit an oncoming truck.
A happy life was forever altered. The lady
remained hospitalized with brain injuries and
the bereaved parents all helpless and
distraught.
While
their
daughter
was
convalescing in hospital fate put them in even
a worse situation when a loaded truck skidded
off the pavement and crashed through their
bedroom wall, killing them both. Their other
two sons who escaped injury were left
orphans.
Things fall apart, and many times in ways so
incredible as to seem impossible and
unbelievable but they are n ot.
Later that year I went to visit my younger son
in Kuala Lumpur and heard this story from
the grieving parents. Their three sons went out
one evening and after enjoying their time at a
nearby restaurant decided to call a taxi to go
home but no taxi would come so they decided
to go home on foot. It was only a few
kilometres of walk home late at night.
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There was nothing particularly queer about
this but as the brothers were crossing the
road near their home a bus ploughed them
down. Two of the brothers were instantly killed
on the spot but the third brother miraculously
escaped unhurt.
Sometimes life can look like a shooting gallery
and we become the swimming ducks in the
lake. The shots come at random picking off
some and sparing others with no pattern or
predictability. Of course, there seems no
fairness at all.
Therefore, the parents of the brothers still feel
that life is many things but fairness is not one
of them. Think of the brother who was left
behind to prepare to cremate the other two.
Things do fall apart and for the rest of us who
are lucky, there is tomorrow to be careful and
avoid the circumstances where things do and
can fall apart.
Truth, Faith, Hope and
Love
Often we just have to keep reminding
ourselves that
if we find things, words and situations
that are full of TRUTH then we should
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accept them immediately without any
arguments;
If we have developed our FAITH in
people, places and procedures then we
should be prepared to speak about and
for them;
If we have HOPE in or for anything let
us hold on to it; and
If we are in LOVE with anyone, anything
or any place then we should live happily
with it.
WHAT A BEAUTY? O
MOON!
I saw her hanging up in the blue sky tonight
I couldn’t but admire her beauty this night
She was the brightest among the other stars
She was up there ready to heal all the scars
Her light, her might and her beauty so right
Tonight was the full moon shinning so bright.
For all the new and old lovers she is so rare
She is out there ready to give and to share
Lovers cannot help but notice all her glare
She looks unique like a golden star to stare
The pretty face makes all romance to flare
Sparkling, shimmering and glimmering there.
Her graceful move across the sky is a wonder
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Lovers know she is there in rain or in thunder
Her beauty and grace make the lovers sigh
They want her to inspire them and draw nigh
Walk in the park or you stroll along the road
The moon up the sky provides lovers’ code.
Darkness is shattered and night becomes day
She acts as the kingdom for lovers that say
“I love you darling, you have made my day.”
Romance flourishes and lovers become gay
Just one look up the sky brings a lot of bliss
To hold each other tightly to give a sweet kiss.
This moon thus illuminates the whole night
Lovers cannot blink from such a sweet sight
They are mesmerised by the bright moon light
They even decide their engagement that night
Marriage vows revised honeymoon gets right
For lovers pretty moon shines thus all night.
Lovely, charming and shinning moon do stay
Make every night of all lovers happy and gay
Let darkness go away from those dark nights
Change the route to bring full moon all nights
Lovers long to see you shine and give blessing
All the year round without doing any resting.
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WORDS OF WISDOM
Wise Words of Elders
I believe that there will always be someone
better at something than I am so I refuse to
make comparison because it is the thief of joy.
Therefore, I do not let the success of other
people discourage me from my own
endeavours and make me bitter. If someone
has done or is doing something I would like to
do, I get my inspiration from these because
they become my indicators that I too can
achieve great things.
My grandfather once said, “My Boy, there is a
battle between two wolves inside us all.”
“One is EVIL that is your anger, jealousy,
greed, resentment, inferiority complex, lies
and ego.”
“The other is GOOD that is your joy, peace,
love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy and
truth.”
It took me a few years to fully understand this
philosophy and when I did I asked my
grandfather a question, “Grandpa, which wolf
wins?”
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The old and wise man smiled and quietly
replied,
“The one you feed well wins.”
Life teaches us a lot of things. Sometimes in
life things get fantastic but other times they
get messed up when people begin to over-
think and react, over-analyse and assume and
are not able to care, control and create things.
However, it is human nature though and we
cannot be perfect all the time. We learn more
and more each and every day and hope for the
better. The vital thing to remember always is
that while we all are illiterate and ignorant in
some fields, we all are beautiful in some
aspects and while we all have some flaws we
are brilliant in many other areas therefore, we
all deserve a second chance. Let us not brood
over what we did, how well or bad we did it
and when and why we did it because many
times in our life we just were not ready to
make it right the first time. So let us never
give up but keep trying again and again.
Whenever I felt like I could not do any better
or go any further in life, I was confident that
the same strength and stamina that carried
me well so far would definitely take me and
lead me the rest of the way. So I learnt to
press on regardless. If I do something I like it
then it becomes my freedom but if I like what I
am doing then it gives me happiness.
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My recent reading has made me realize that
every time I am tempted to do and react in the
same old tradition and way, I seriously
evaluate and look at the choices I have had to
either become a prisoner trapped in my past
old ways or become a pioneer of my future. I
dared to get out of the prison and did
everything possible to become a pioneer of my
future activities.
Sometime back I used to think that the worst
thing in my life was to be lonely and end up all
alone but after I found some renewed love and
laughter I have begun to feel that the best
thing in life is to rejoice, react and remove all
doubts to live a happy and rewarding life
which is short but can be made a lot sweeter.
Now I am fully convinced that the inner peace
begins when I choose not to allow anyone or
any event to control my emotions. Therefore,
for me the tragedy of life is not death but it is
what I let die inside me while I live. So I have
taken the advice of Aristotle, “You are never
too old to set another goal or to dream a new
dream.” I want to lead a really simple life and
never insist on making it any complicated.
There were many a time when my life was
sweet so I said thank you to God, my family
and friends and celebrated but there were a
few occasions when my life got a bit bitter and
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then I also thanked God for His Blessings and
Care to save me from despondency and then
tried to grow out of the bitterness.
If we practice like we have never had a win
before then we can perform like we have never
lost at all and if we believe that we can do it
then we are almost there. So let us stop
wishing and begin doing. I believe that my
determination today would always lead me to
my success tomorrow.
If we keep complaining about the things we
are not willing to change we would not be able
to enjoy plain sailing in life. Do not be afraid
to start things over because it is a brand new
opportunity to rebuild what you truly want. If
we learn to push harder than yesterday we
would definitely have a better and different
tomorrow.
Words, Words and Words
I have written many words, read a lot many
and heard even a lot more but it was only
recently that I realized that if I stopped and
thought carefully I could feel a lot more about
each word that I write, read and hear.
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It has been easy for me to understand the
superficial meaning of words but the day I put
my ears, heart and soul on the nerves of each
word they revealed a lot more to me about
them and their surroundings.
Previously I thought that words were just
words but after my deeper interest in them I
discovered
that
they
had
feelings,
explanations, compassion and passion.
Now I am able to see that there are words
which make me smile or laugh loudly whereas
there are others that make me so sad that I
start crying. There are words that I can use
and misuse in the public but there are those
useful and powerful words that I can only
interpret and appreciate while I am alone and
enjoying my solitary conditions.
The words that brought intense feelings for me
and within me from the pages of books have
given me a variety of experiences. I could run
away from them, be part of them or be in good
company with them.
The word childhood always brings multiple
exhilarating,
exciting
and
exceptional
experiences and I get lost in the pleasant
memories. I have been able to see the naked
me playing with ants, worms and the soil that
used to give me hours of enjoyment.
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Then the word rain compels me to wipe my
forehead as if the rain has fallen over my head
to wet my body. Of course, my feet are able to
feel the mud that the water made me develop
by jumping in the puddles.
Having read and heard the word loneliness
made me feel and experience that someone
very near and loved one has forced a sword in
my chest and is laughing loudly by looking at
my sad face. I feel that the wound so inflicted
has not healed till today.
By reading and writing the word crematorium
I get a very frightening feeling where upon my
ears, eyes and the whole body begins to get a
chronic chill. It gives me a tragic feeling that
someone is sitting on my chest and pressing
me so hard that I am not able to get out of the
precarious situation.
By reading the word ghost makes me
scrutinize my surrounding with fear and some
dilemma at night with a feeling that someone
is following me and will soon catch up with me
even if I am the fastest runner on earth.
Upon hearing the word memory I get lost in
my past and a very intense sorrow and
sadness capture me. I feel I have lost some
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valuable treasure and someone is telling me to
get out of that situation but I cannot.
I have asked women to look at the word widow
and see if they can see a lady who has lost her
husband and is compelled to wash off the
signs of marriage and break her bangles.
Similarly I have asked some sterile women to
read the word barren and then I tried to
witness the sorrow, remorse and sadness on
their countenance to understand their pain
and despondency.
What does the reading of the word love make
me feel after seeing so much hate related
criminal activities in the world? I get the
scornful feeling or belief that the word is
worthless, despicable and full of mockery.
How do I feel when I read my own name Ram
Lakhan? I feel emptiness, a complete blank
page and like an empty vessel rolling on the
road waiting for someone to come and rescue
me.
There are a lot more words that give me a
variety of feelings but either I try not to
remember them or I have forgotten their
rightful meaning. Of course there are other
words that I cannot forget even if my
conscience desperately wants it.
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The most important words for me are the ones
that my loved ones have uttered when they
needed my shoulder to cry and eradicate to
lessen their sorrows, pains and loneliness.
Those were the words that they left in my ears
with a whisper. ‘What were they?’ Asked my
younger son.
Help Me
Camera
Guide Me
Magazines
I love You
Comics
Pocket money
Face cream
School fees
Hair cream,
Sports fees
Ride,
Tennis Racquet
Picnic,
Boots
Suits,
New shoes
Dresses,
New Watch
Rent,
Sunglasses
Gifts,
Uniforms
Air Fare,
Drive me to ..
Boarding fees.
Read a story
Text Books
Perfume
New friends
Dinner Out
Party time
Music
Films
Record player
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The list goes on but the important thing was
that I managed to meet all the demands with
pleasure and no pains.
What a coward of a man am I? I am so weak
that I get defeated by those important words
related to me that have feelings and valuable
meanings but I cannot feel and expose them.
What a shame!
