The Great Awakening by Wendell Charles NeSmith - HTML preview

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CHAPTER 11
MONADOLOGY

May 16 2019

As an infant I obsessed over my mother's tit, for it gave me the sustenance I needed at the time to most effectively function in my ever renewing becoming, growing very quickly into a tiny man. And forced off of the tiiit I so once desired, now I am given a pacifier and a bottle. Trying everything to see if it is food. Trying new soft foods to help me grow, eventually expanding my palate to candies, all orally motivated as you can see. Chewing gum to yummy ice cream. Hard food and take away. Smoking cigarettes and grinding teeth. Marijuana and its similar synthetic distributions.

After being homeless for so long, I know exactly what I need and exactly what I don't need. What I do need? All the equipment to run a fully functional home at bare minimum costs. A life free of the concern of money is what I am aiming for. I have to get out of this living week to week crap. And I have a plan. Because eventually I will acquire all the things I need to run a household, because after that I am financially free. And the only thing that I would ever really have to sacrifice is drugs or food.

Shrek said people are like onions. When you peel one layer away, another layer reveals itself seemingly for infinity and beyond my enquiry/inquery, how one can use words and and phrases artistically and break the rules without fear of concequence. No one can judge me for any of what they consider a mistake. What the blind see as imperfection, those who see eye perfection. My art is mine thus no one can take it from me by insulting it. Its form necessitates no critiques possible and/or even logical.

Am I inside or outside? I can be inside my tent which is inside my room which is inside an apartment complex which is inside a suburb which is inside a district which is inside a city which is inside a state/territory which is inside a country which is inside a huge human psychological warfare operation uniting under every front. Information is like little packages. Its true meaning always hidden between the lines. Who I am in my eyes for my selfies shows me looking into my eye taking a selfie looking into my eye taking a selfie of a selfie. My zeros (0) render: incomprehensible. 111111. Nothing is always something; albeit only potentially its single word "nothing". For I am forming something with my nothing as I swipe these letters into an existence that did not yet exist prior to the word denoting its meaning. And these words will follow me around wherever I go as another piece of the puzzle of what made me, and how you can make yourself. How am I to measure three-sixty degrees if I am not to have a zero degree representation? I could halve it and create a one-hundred eighty. Further slicing goes to fourths and so on. Above the pizza is a chef. As above, so below. But be careful. It is all a trick.

What is important in life? Is having gnostic wisdom really so important? Is practicing occult magick really going to bring you fulfillment in life? Is finding enlightenment really going to bring you fulfillment? You know what I would call a fulfilling life? Giving it entirely to one special girl somewhere out there amongst the stars. But I might not get that opportunity so I am going to invest my life in the topics I am passionate about. Fortunately, it appears that I might just be able to make my career also my passions in community services. But what is afoot is far behind us and what is in front of us is blinded masses who won't stop talking crap to each other and sit down and have a heart to heart about what is wrong with our world and what we need to do to fix it. Spending a life raising a family under these principles! Tata! For there is no greater honour.

Your wand is your finger scrolling. What ever you can make it do is magick. Technology is Satanic. But us technology warriors are allowed to use it to try and reach you. We are in the literal Hogwarts. The limits are only your imagination.

For how can I know the smallest of things of I cannot know the biggest of things? And the only way we currently have at stepping outside our planet is through the tools of NASA, who cannot be trusted. So I have no way to then find its opposite, for I know not what to look for. So until the truth of our universe is revealed, I have no way to accurately investigate what is below me. Remember, as above, so below.

For space must be infinite, for if I run into a wall, what is on the other side of that wall? My mind is unable to fathom a space without its infinite properties. Or should I says its infinite devoid of any properties? How could the universe expand if it is already infinite? And if it is expanding, how can we be sure that we are not shrinking, for their is no counter measure?