Chapter Eleven
Crippled Inside
In 1971 John Lennon wrote a song titled 'Crippled Inside.' He hinted at people appearing to be normal, wearing suits, painting their faces, smiling, but hiding behind masks and crippled inside. I doubt if he had Psychopathy in mind when he penned the words, but I can remember listening to the song when first released while working on our isolated farm and the words seemed to resonate with the experiences I had encountered to that date. Certainly, many of the people I had met were a facsimile of a real human being; they literally wore a mask and painted their face. Outwardly, they were the life of the party, highly successful in an economic sense, physically attractive, charismatic and exciting to be around. In reality, they were morally bankrupt, vile and violent people who would treat people and society with utter contempt in their quest for material possessions, money, power and sex.
My own sister was victim to the machinations of an ASPD type individual and in the 1960's, her life of luxury ended with marriage and she entered the dark world of vile manipulation and abuse that lasted until her death in 2011. My sister's loathsome leach of a husband, managed to suck many thousands of dollars from his father and father in law as he craftily looked for other methods to increase his personal wealth. He joined societies and brotherhoods that granted immunity from prosecution for his nefarious activities and he sought associations with legal impresarios and international organisations to increase his personal bank account and circle of influence.
Bumbling and inept initially, he used his wife as an elegant hostess to move in the upper echelons of society until he developed the social skills to form a network of influential people that spanned the globe. He acquired a massive collection of shiny baubles, brought out on occasions to impress guests and new acquaintances. As a real life Ogre, he physically and psychologically abused his children, stole large amounts of money from them and drastically changed the course of his daughter's happiness. He managed to isolate his wife from her family through lies, manipulating the truth and pursued relatives through legal channels, effectively severing family support.
His obsession with motor vehicles, their maintenance and cleanliness, towered above his concern for his own family. He spent hours meticulously polishing his car's interior and exterior, completely ignoring his wife and children's pleas for help or interaction while engaged with his cleaning. If uninteresting guests arrived for a visit, he would show complete contempt during conversations by walking outside and starting some outdoor activity, totally ignoring his visitors. My sister attempted to break free on many occasions, but lingered in the pit of humiliation and abuse through caring for her children. She suffered the ignominy of having her husband's mistress paraded in front of her and her children at social events. She suffered sexual, physical, emotional and economic abuse at the hands of a creature that I'm sure is still continuing his reign of terror. At the time, our family had no idea what we were dealing with, but we certainly know what he is now and we have dedicated our lives to bringing awareness of the dangers of ASPD to the human population. Ultimately, people closely associated with psychopaths will see the vile, violent and homicidal nature of the true psychopath. As Mr Lennon's song said, the one thing you can't hide is when you are crippled inside.
Psychopaths work hard at hiding their lack of true emotions by appearing to be normal – they work really hard – and it's frustrating, infuriating and tiring. Imagine trying to remain calm and 'nice' with people you actually despise and hate. People that you want to enslave, rape or murder. People that you want to steal every last cent from. People who are so far below you, they make you sick. The families of the psychopath withstand the worst of psychopathic frustration and anger behind closed doors and the all emotional devouring and vehement monster that is the ‘path soon replaces the mask of a normal functioning human being. At some stage, they cannot hide the fact they are crippled inside. Psychopaths are real life ‘Jekyll and Hyde’ characters on steroids.
The problem for humans is, 'paths seem to behave like everybody around them. Initially there are no detectable signs of psychopathy, unless you are aware of ASPD behaviour and have been studying them closely for considerable time. Evil doesn't always look evil, sometimes it's staring us right in the face and we don't even know it.
Psychopaths are male or female, young or old, black or white and they look exactly like any other human being. They exist in all cultures, globally; they are beautiful or ugly, tall or short, fat or thin. They don't have any physical sign of the inner rage of hate and contempt that is their substitute for love and compassion (manie sans délire). They eat food, sleep and reproduce like all mammals.
Psychopaths don’t have horns, glowing eyes, bolts through their necks or cloven feet. You can't tell them apart in a crowd and they have learned to blend in with the society they actually control. They mimic human feelings from an early age and are consummate actors. They laugh and smile and even cry when needed, but these are cleverly faked feelings they have copied since childhood to gain social acceptance. They turn these displays on and off like a light switch. If you look closely at a psychopath, you realise they don’t smile, they bare their teeth! They disengage rapidly from normal social intercourse if they find the people or the subject boring. They are like interstellar predators, cunningly blending into every society on earth and remaining hidden from personal scrutiny by pretending to be ordinary, wholesome human beings.
Their veil of charm, caring and apparent warmth is the way they entice us into their web of abuse, violence and manipulation. They cannot give they can only take. They have cunningly taught whole generations of feeling humans that love and compassion is weakness and have now mobilised whole societies to accept and follow their violent, warped and instant gratification behaviour.
They know they are different, unfettered with true human feelings to hinder their quest for power, money, material possessions and sex. Their often-high intelligence leaves them a reservoir of stories, anecdotes and bullshit to impress people for a long period. As adolescents, they can be so sickly sweet one moment in front of guests and strangers, then quickly turn around, and kick their family pet in the guts when they think no one is looking.
Psychopaths exist in large and small communities and although they prefer the anonymity of large cities, we personally witnessed the trauma of a young fifteen-year-old girl having her jaw and ankle broken by her mother and grandmother trying to kill her in a rural town with a population of less than 900 people. Her mother accused her of stealing the television set she gave her daughter as a gift several months before. The young girl was ambushed by her mother as she left school, dragged into a car with her grandmother screaming, “Kill her, kill her.”
Fortunately, the young girl resisted their attempts to get her in the car, but suffered horrendous injuries as the car moved away, dragging the girl along the road. While she was still in the car, her mother punched her repeatedly in the face and cut off her beautiful long, dark hair with scissors. Some of the other schoolchildren, who witnessed the horror, were able to take videos of the attack and submit their evidence to authorities. Clearly, the mother is suffering from a severe Personality Disorder and I'm sure the small town is still bewildered by this extraordinary display of aggression with absolutely no idea of the underlying cause of the violence. We later learned the young girl, so terribly abused by her mother, attempted suicide. That is a high price to pay to a facsimile of a mother who does not care if her daughter lives or dies.
In a 1976 anthropologist Jane Murphy, attending Harvard University, studied an isolated group of Yupik speaking Inuits near the Bering Strait. They had a term 'Kunlangeta' which they used to describe “A man who repeatedly lies and cheats and steals things and takes sexual advantage of many women. Someone who does not pay attention to reprimands and who is always being brought to the elders for punishment.” When Jane asked an Inuit what the group would typically do with a Kunlangeta, the Inuit replied, “Somebody would have pushed him off the ice when nobody else was looking.” That may be a bit drastic, but it does illustrate the existence of psychopathic traits in ancient cultures and isolated societies.
For millennia, wars have tended to kill off decent people and volunteers, sparing the true instigators of conflicts. Warlords and kings have long been polygamous, siring enormous numbers of offspring. Historians suggest that Genghis Khan raped more than 10,000 women during his reign of terror and genetic studies indicate that 10% of all Northern Asians are descended from him. Genghis Khan is quoted as saying, “Happiness is to kill the foe, ride his horses, watch his wife and daughters weep and seize them to your bosom.” That’s an incredibly warped sense of ‘happiness’ and this violent individual managed to spread his defective DNA from the Pacific Ocean to the Dnieper River on the Black Sea and into Persia and China. His vile, defective legacy remains to this day.
Psychopaths rarely think of themselves as 'evil' and if they do, being evil to them doesn't have the same meaning of being truly bad as it does to other people. This is part of the contradiction that surrounds psychopathic individuals; they don't have the same emotional attachment to ideas and concepts that normal people have; they don't have the same emotions as normal people! One of the first things they notice about themselves is that they tend to react differently to others around them. Just as Dr Hare observed in his experiments, they are not scared in threatening situations and become fascinated or intrigued rather than being afraid. They quickly discover that remaining calm when others are afraid is an enormous advantage. They also realise as children, that feelings of love, guilt and empathy are confinements forced on them by adults. The adults try to make them feel these feelings, but they just don't exist, so the psychopathic child quickly learns to mimic these emotions to gain social acceptance and soon realises people believe the faked feelings are really their feelings. From the child's point of view, many of them assume everyone is faking emotions, just like them.
They have studied humans intently from childhood and they know us better than we know ourselves. They are experts in knowing how to push our buttons, to use our emotions against us; it becomes a game to prove their superiority. They seem to use hypnosis over us when we deal with them. When the psychopath traps us in their web, our ability to think clearly and logically get muddled. It is only later when we are away from them, that our clarity of thought returns and we find ourselves wondering why we were unable to respond logically or resist what they were saying or doing. To this day, even though I know when I am dealing with a sociopath, I am sometimes unable to respond effectively to their warped logic or vile behaviour until I am physically away from their presence. That is how powerful their speech patterns and behaviour can be, they are the masters of language and emotional manipulation and we are literally under their 'spell.'
Psychopaths are so clever at avoiding detection, they can pass through many of the tests designed to identify them. Once they reach maturity, they know every trick in the book to hide their emotional deficiencies and the average human remains fooled by their illusion of normality.
If you have studied the subject of APD/APSD and people suffering from this affliction, it eventually becomes easier to spot the psychopaths around you. There are subtle differences that become apparent as you start looking. Amazingly, as you find ASPD individuals interacting with you, you will see subtle differences in facial expressions that become warning sirens of psychopathic tendencies. You will notice their derogatory, sneering and grandiose comments, the way they dismiss people who are of no interest and their 'interview' process. It takes time. increased observation skills and analysis, but eventually their cloak of invisibility falls away and they become 'visible,' but even with total awareness and the entire radar running, a particularly adept ‘path can escape detection for long enough to start inflicting damage.
Amazingly, a simple test exists that positively identifies all alexithymia sufferers; one simple, ridiculously inexpensive test anyone can perform with products from their house that psychopaths cannot fake. One easy physical test that psychopaths have no idea they are being tested, that registers in the primitive thalamus area of the brain like an arrow hitting the 'bulls eye' and we used the test to verify our suspicions on several occasions.
Unless you have directly experienced and identified an abuser as a 'path, it is totally incomprehensible to a normal, loving human being that these crippled people even exist, let alone deliver their predictably cruel abuse so freely on such a massive scale.
Imagine strolling down a crowded street or mall with hundreds of people passing by (I’m sure you’ve done it many times). You may be aware of the clothes these people are wearing and you may even glance at people you feel are vaguely familiar. You would observe happy and not so happy individuals, children, teenagers and elderly citizens, people talking, laughing and joking as they walk near you. You could never imagine in your wildest dreams that more than one in every 100 people who walk past you is looking at you and thinking of ways to murder, rob or rape you. Incredibly, they are and they will, if given the opportunity. These people are at the coldest end of the ASPD spectrum, commonly known as Psychopaths and they are watching and interacting with you as coldly as a snake watches a mouse playing blissfully in a field and you are probably unaware they exist around you.
Very few people are aware they are living in a real science fiction movie where cold, soulless and manipulative people masquerade as humans. Ordinary feeling people become part of a 'movie script' where humans are slowly but surely removed from reality and trained to accept ASPD behaviour as normal and acceptable. Soulless people, so cold and dangerous, they will kill you for the fun of it to relieve the intense boredom that haunts them every single day. People so ruthless they can kill millions of humans with the press of a button and feel no remorse. These people have killed hundreds of thousands of people from nuclear explosions without regret and managed to turn their murderous assignation into a publicly accepted public relations theatre.
These are the cold, heartless creatures, profiting from marching your children and grandchildren to carefully created wars. These emotionally damaged people have no qualms about creating unimaginable agony for honest people from financial stock market crashes that benefit only them. These are the silver-tongued con men and women who know the price of everything, and the value of nothing. They are swindlers and feeling humans are the swindled. These ‘people’ revel in creating racial discrimination and feasting on the agony of people suffering injustice because of the irrelevant colour of their skin. These are the psychopathic creatures profiting from the divisiveness of cunningly crafted religions.
Those without the true spectrum of human feelings and conscience can easily create unimaginable violence and atrocities against humans. Those filled with love and normal human feelings can never commit these atrocities, as their inbuilt sense of conscience realises the pain and suffering of others. Humans have an inbuilt sense of propriety and conscience that is DNA programmed into our very being and necessary for constructive social interaction. Conscience is the glue for positive functioning society, it ensures we keep our promises, our commitment to others and stops the angry spouse from hitting back.
It's as simple as asking yourself, “O.K. Would I prefer the abuse of being physically or emotionally whipped every day or would I prefer to be supported with love, understanding and appreciation?” Just as we don’t have to be taught how to breathe or digest food, amazingly we instinctively know right from wrong behaviour on a basic level. We have no desire to kill our fellow man or siblings for the fun or profit of it. Normal mothers have no desire to murder their children. Normal, balanced men are not looking for women to rape or harm. We uphold the sanctity of life; it's a genetic survival strategy necessary for the continuity of the species. We don't have to spend years in university, seminaries or read volumes of text learning these traits, the emotional information we require is genetically encoded in our being and only has to be recognised and nurtured. It is the beauty of being an authentic, emotionally receptive human being.
As an example of human authenticity, it's been estimated that up to eighty per cent of conscripted soldiers in major conflicts will not fire to kill an enemy. Researchers discovered that many soldiers went through the motions of combat, firing their weapons, but deliberately aiming to miss their fellow human beings. The truly ill have no comprehension of love and compassion; they have only hate, abuse and contempt as their substitute feelings. They are capable of the most hideous acts against Homo Sapiens without guilt or comprehension of the emotional pain and suffering they create.
If you feel that global warfare has produced people with absolutely no feelings for other people, you are 100% correct – many of them don't care and what is more terrifying is, some of them CAN'T care! Not now, not ever. They don't even have a CONCEPT of caring! Psychopaths in power have no connection to the area in their brain necessary for these emotions. How incredibly sad, peculiar and dangerous is that.
The word "conscience" stems from the Latin conscientia, meaning "privity of knowledge" or "with-knowledge." In the English language, the word suggests an awareness of a moral standard concerning the quality of our human activity, as well as a realisation of our actions. Philosophically, conscience is a "gut feeling" or "sense of guilt" about the way we feel about an action we are taking. It's like an inbuilt filter that puts the brakes on bad behaviour and is the wonderful part of being human that will keep philosophers busy for centuries, debating its origin, its authenticity and its purpose. Conscience is not an appendage on our body, it can't be physically seen or detected on an MRI or brain scan, yet amazingly we can definitely feel its presence. It is the beauty of being human, an authentic human being.
Immanuel Kant, a central figure of the eighteenth century Age of Enlightenment, claimed that two things filled his mind with ever new and increasing admiration and awe. "The starry heavens above me and the moral law within me ... the latter begins from my invisible self, my personality, and exhibits me in a world which has true infinity but which I recognise myself as existing in a universal and necessary (and not only, as in the first case, contingent) connection." Kant considered critical conscience to be an internal court in which our thoughts accuse or excuse one another. He acknowledged that morally mature people often describe contentment or peace in the soul after allowing their conscience to perform a duty, but argued that such acts should simply be a natural duty and not an expectation of any bliss or reward.
The United Nations acknowledges conscience in its Universal Declaration on Human Rights Article 1, which states, “All human/ beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.”
In our contemporary society, conscience played a major role when anaesthetist, Stephen Bolsin, whistle-blew on incompetent paediatric cardiac surgeons at the Bristol Royal Infirmary.
Conscience motivated Jeffrey Wigand to expose the Big Tobacco scandal, revealing that executives of the companies knew that cigarettes were addictive and approved the addition of carcinogenic ingredients to cigarettes.
David Graham, a Food and Drug Administration employee, was motivated by conscience to whistle-blow and alert the public to the fact the arthritis pain-reliever Vioxx, increased the risk of cardiovascular deaths despite the manufacturer suppressing this information.
Rick Piltz from the U.S. Climate Change Science Program blew the whistle on a White House official who ignored majority scientific opinion to edit a climate change report ("Our Changing Planet") to reflect the Bush administration's view that the problem was unlikely to exist.
Mordechai Vanunu an Israeli former nuclear technician, acted on conscience to reveal details of Israel's nuclear weapons program to the British press in 1986. Israeli agents kidnapped him, transported him to Israel, convicted him of treason and he spent 18 years in prison, including more than 11 years in solitary confinement. All he did was tell the truth!
Glenn Greenwald, the journalist who first published reports based on documents leaked by whistle blower Edward Snowden that exposed the mass surveillance of individuals globally via the international 'Five Eyes Partnership.' Greenwald exposed computer programs like Xkeyscore which give NSA the ability to look at metadata and open up actual emails of citizens and read what is being written. "XKeyscore is one of the most menacing surveillance programs ever invented in history," he said. He also stated, "Government has no business invading people's private communications on the Internet. That is not the proper role of Government." Just think about that comment for a second. Are you interested in spying on people’s correspondence, the mundane, the irrelevant and the social chatter? I know I’m not remotely interested, I respect their privacy.
In recent times, there have been brave individuals, fully aware of the repercussions of their actions, who have revealed the extent of U.S. diplomatic chicanery and deceit with their own population and overseas governments. By revealing emails and faxes to the public sent by U.S. government departments, the world catches a glimpse of the magnitude of contempt and lying perpetrated by governments. In typical ASPD fashion, the U.S. government described the whistle-blowers as enemies of the state, terrorists, murderers and traitors in a ‘straw man’ attempt to deflect their immoral activity. At no stage did they deny the accuracy or truth of the leaked official correspondence. Truth is the granite boulder psychopaths continually stub their toe on.
William Blum, a former U.S. state department employee noted the lack of conscience and decency of governments and stated, "No matter how paranoid or conspiracy-minded you are, what the government is actually doing is worse than you imagine."
My wife would describe her mother and her lack of conscience to her close friends and the response was always the same, “But she must love you deep down.” or they simply could not believe what they were being told. It is impossible for a normal feeling human to believe that a mother could hate her child to the point of murder and reward the rapist of her daughter by having sex with him, showering him with extravagant gifts, cash, holidays and buying him houses, but she did! There is documented proof.
These actions were bewildering to us at the time, but now they make perfect sense. My wife's ASPD mother used her daughter's husband for sex and with her daughter cunningly removed from the scene; she was free to shower him with gifts to maintain their relationship. Her pseudo attempts to re-unite her daughter with her abusive husband were her way to gain 'victory' and superiority over her traumatised daughter and feast on her daughter’s emotional pain. It was just a game to her; a way to relieve the incredible boredom she always feels. With absolutely no conscience; no moral compass at all, she was perfectly justified to do whatever she wanted, even having sex with the rapist of her only daughter. How's that for loving 'deep down?'
The truth is, the psychopath can never love 'deep down' – they have no 'deep down,' they have no concept of love – they have no physical brain connection to their emotions of love and compassion - they are lacking normal human feelings and should be identified, pitied and isolated. They are superficial facsimiles of a real human, a clever photocopy and two dimensional in every respect. They are the most dangerous life forms on the planet with absolutely no conscience and they control our society. Psychopaths are as 'deep' as a teaspoon of cold water and these are the sad, corrupted individuals who crave political and economic power.
Unfortunately, several of the people my wife told her story to would fall victim to APD abuse themselves. They would discover their lover and sometimes their own children were displaying psychopathic tendencies. They would experience the terror and devastation of having their families ripped apart by 'paths hiding as humans. They would discover the crippling emotional pain of their partner's lies and deceit or the horror of discovering their children were capable of hatred toward them to the point of murder. Some of our friends cautiously accepted the possibility of Anti-Social behaviour as a possible cause of their pain, but several of them utterly refused to contemplate the possibility; it was far too emotionally painful.
Women, throughout history, have been attracted to partners exhibiting bad behaviour, because genetically, they may wish to mother and change them. It's exciting, often economically rewarding and sexually stimulating, but always ends so incredibly badly. For the first time in human history, our friends were able to receive counselling and advice for their abuse and it was sickening to think of the countless millions of people before them that have suffered at the hands of 'paths. So many people, for so many thousands of years have had to endure the physical and emotional hell of psychopathic dogma and control with no idea of the faulty emotional wiring of their abusers. It was also incredibly exciting to think, this was the first time in recorded history the reign of psychopathic terror in a large population could be accurately, medically exposed and ultimately nullified.
Our abused friends would find themselves in emotional turmoil for years, before being able pick up the pieces of their lives. Victims of abuse lived their lives in an emotional whirlpool, they had no idea how different they had become. They often had debilitating physical symptoms caused from emotional stress and the excitement and exuberance of life evaporated from their lives.
Some victims of ASPD abuse would become 'brittle narcissists' and attempt to bolster their own low self-esteem by constantly demeaning and undermining their friends or partners. Sadly, their passionate love for their partner would slowly dissolve into passionate hate and they were often oblivious to their condition. Belittling a partner, sibling or associate becomes an essential part of their lives, an abusive ritual they enjoy delivering daily to boost their fragile self-esteem. Brittle narcissists can never acknowledge any good deeds or tasks well done by their victims, to do this would diminish their warped sense of superiority. Their friends witness the destruction of another human being at the hands of a faux narcissist and are powerless to prevent it.
Psychopathic abusers would rarely relinquish their hold on their victim or the victim's children if there were an opportunity to benefit financially. These people, deeply traumatised by the abuse from ASPD individuals required the long-term support of a loving friend, family member or counsellor to repair their emotional damage.
The 'path would use their spouse and their children as commodities in their quest for materiel gain or emotional control. Wi