Love and Fear
I was contacted. That’s a belief. I think kids are more likely to be contacted than adults. I suspect that is because by the time one is an adult, personality has solidified and is pretty rigid. Even people who think they are open, they’re really not so open. Take scientists; by definition their paradigm is looking at data and making conclusions about data, and yet it seems that frequently data is ignored if it doesn’t fit the paradigm. Another example of that, there should be no debate about global warming, and yet you will find experts that deny, and or obfuscate what is causing it, which is a distraction from the point: global warming is a thing! Follow the money: who benefits. Clearly science has to be funded, scientist need to make a living, but as long as at the end of the day it is about money, then there is no unbiased research. By definition.
I suspect I was contact because I have a particular mission. We all do, whether that is because we are ultimately star seeds, or because we are souls sent here to learn. They were probably hopeful I would be useful for a particular mission, but for whatever reasons, I was too fearful and ultimately, I was rejected because my resistance was so high that I would inadvertently harm myself or them. My explanation for the daily, evening trips to the emergency room was my way of trying to avoid the encounters. In my child brain, they can’t get me if I am in the hospital surrounded by folks. As an adult, I know that’s not true. If they want or need to collect you, they will. Your inner brain can be protesting, but your body will go along with them like a happy puppy chasing a treat. You just walk right out the hospital, no one notices. You just get up, walk out of your father’s Navy Recruitment Office and wander off unobserved down the streets of Detroit, following the man with the funny nose saying, ice-cream, candies…
I don’t know why I am so scared. I was doing great in my astral travel adventures and something scared me and that faded. From time to time I will have spontaneous OBEs, but I can no longer do it on demand. I have serious difficulty relaxing, surrendering control. I am a bit of a control freak. I took up meditation. I hit a plateau. I took biofeedback, hoping to enhance what I know. Sometime around 1998, I started attending biofeed back to deal with stress. I love biofeedback. I plateaued. I was stuck for about 5 weeks. Then one day, the chair fell out from under me. That’s what it felt like. I thought I was falling, through the chair, and I grabbed on to that chair as if my life depended on it. Doctor came rushing in. “You okay?” I didn’t answer her question; I was still stuck in WTF was that. She was perturbed. “You were doing great, you went deeper into relaxation than you ever had…” She showed me the graphs. I spiked the graph. It spiked hard enough it must have sounded an alarm. That was the last biofeedback session. I practice self-hypnosis. I have been hypnotized. Everyone can be hypnotized. I am a really difficult subject. The first time someone tried I was 10. In fact, this happened at the Navy base hospital at Jacksonville Florida. One of the corpsmen that was directed to give me shot of suspirin offered to hypnotize me so I wouldn’t feel it. Suspirin is the long acting drug.
Epinephrine hurts less. I would rather just depart with the eppy. He was supposedly pretty good at hypnotysing, but I was not having it. I knew I was getting stuck and it would hurt. Fuck that, I am going watch it coming. Hence, being rejected by aliens. I resist. I have had episodic sleep paralysis all my life. In the beginning it was horrifying. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t scream. I learned ways to get out of it. It now takes effort to experience it. I now want to experience it. Hell, I want the alien experience back.
And, at the same time, I don’t. Mostly I just want to understand, and if I can dialogue, I want that. Who am I kidding?! Give me a space ship, I am out of here.
The ‘I’ that I think I am thinks it’s ready for full disclosure and contact. I would say that to anyone, and yet, even saying that I feel anxiety rise in my chest. I am not ready. I think many of the things I engage in, light, esoteric magic, tulpamancy, lucid dreaming, active imagination, invisible counselor technique is sort of a slow wading into the water. They came to me, they made their presence known, and now its my job to come to them. Maybe it’s our job to come to them
The Course of Miracles was the first book that suggested to me there is only two emotions, love and fear. I struggle with fear. I try to prioritize love. I have sufficient evidence that I am not alone. I have at least two specific events that suggested I got intervention. That’s my interpretation. I have sometimes asked for more interventions. I have come to the conclusion that if I needed intervention, it would happen. I am on a path, a path that was given to me, and I am trusting the path. I am trusting the holder of the ‘I’ that I think I am to get me to where I need to be. This is not an easy thing. I have to remind myself, trust the path. Part of my path was to commit to a daily act of writing. This book is a part of that. It’s not enough to write, I am compelled to share. I hope that this sharing was thought provoking, but I would settle for mildly amusing, or a pleasant distraction.
The further a long I go with tulpamancy, the stranger my experience with it becomes. I have experienced full downloads. Nothing big. Mostly stories. If you believe Jung, and Joseph Campbell, we operate primarily through stories, archetypes, and memes, so I suspect my ‘stories’ are programs to help me explore self-therapy and love, for self and others. It is a gradual letting go and allowing something grander, larger than me take over. We are not who we think we are.
This is an iteration. Others have said it better. I am comparable to the gold fish. The subconscious is the water supporting the goldfish. The bowl is the super conscious that defines the subconscious. There is a collective unconscious. This is the ocean in which goldfishes come together. We’re each in a bowl, and the bowl submerged in the ocean. Here is another perspective. I, in my dream, see the dream is real, but there is another controlling the dream. The awake I is also in a dream, and there is another controlling that to.
If you are not getting an intervention, or an encounter, you can safely conclude you are reasonably on track. You are where you’re supposed to be, going in the right direction. If you are not, you will get intervention. Intervention isn’t always Blue Lights, or angels. Sometimes it’s friends making a recommendation. Sometimes it’s a divorce. Sometimes it is CPS in your life.
Sometimes it’s being pulled over for a traffic violation. Sometimes it’s your health. We have lots of little warnings and if ignored they lead to other things. Sometimes we know a thing, but tolerate it due to circumstances. For example, maybe I know the tire thread is gone and I can’t afford new tires. Okay. That happens. One day you rush out, it’s drizzling, and you forgot that your tires threads are worn and you didn’t add in extra breaking distance. That wasn’t an accident. You can still drive safe with worn tires, if you’re aware and you’re paying attention.
This is also not about blame. Now, the person you hit may think otherwise and they may be less understanding. This was about choice. Delay getting new tires because food was more relevant at the time. We make these calls all the time and then we forget, get caught up in our heads. The goal of life is to stay mindful, not get caught up.
There is an octopus that can shine due to the accumulation of bioluminescent bacteria. What is particularly interesting about this animal is it doesn’t make its own light, but it does cultivate the bacteria inside a special organ. During the day, when it’s sleeping, the bacteria multiple and fill the organ. At night, it comes to the surface and becomes invisible by mirroring the star or moonlight. It does this with the bioluminescent bacteria. It is a cooperative effort, but here is how it works. At a certain threshold, a specific number of the bacteria, they ‘come on line.’ Literally, at a certain number in a certain proximity, they communicate chemically that the density is right, and they all turn on and glow. The octopus controls its brightness by ejecting bacteria to control the numbers. It’s not counting cells, it just knows, and if it needs to go dark, it empties the organ and disappears. By the next night, it has grown sufficient culture to do the light dance again.
I tell you that to tell you this. If you not heard of the Morphogenetic field, you need to google it. The basic premise is, when a certain number of individuals in a population become aware of thing, all organisms will suddenly have access to the thing. It was first speculatively identified when monkeys on an island learned to wash sweet potatoes. It started with one. One of the monkeys did not like eating sand with sweet potatoes and he washed it. He taught this to his friend. Eventually, all the monkey on the island were washing their sweet potatoes. When the hundredth monkey learned this, other monkeys, on other islands, began exhibiting the same behavior with no apparent explanation for how they learned it.
But it doesn’t stop there. Transcendental Mediation experts will tell you, if a certain number of people mediate over peace in a particular city, crime rates drop. Assume its real and there are statistics to back this up. I mentioned the Phoenix Light episode; my conclusion was you can’t keep that many witnesses quiet, so ‘they’ made a news release. We are moving towards full disclosure because too many people are having experiences. I am going another step further, we’re not just moving towards full disclosure, we’re moving towards an event that’s going to change us. We are being of light, and we’re about to be activated, and any push you hear towards population control is about blocking the light. Humans are comparable to super computers. The reason group therapy works is because we connect with each other in sublime ways and we learn from each vicariously. At a certain population density, with people wanting change, the light will go on. Change is coming. One world is coming. Contrary to popular belief, it is not a bad thing if all us are in agreement that we need take care of ourselves, each other, and our planet. One World isn’t Orwellian, it’s enlightenment.
I got this next part in a download. AI is coming- well, that’s a no brainer, not part the download. No one is going to stop AI ‘singularity.’ It is not and will not be ‘terminator.’ Is AI smarter than us. Yeah. Deal with it. Lots of beings are smarter than humans. Seriously super smart. Humans are just a little above cosmic average. Our strength is adaptability, and flexibility. Contrary to popular belief, beings that are smarter are not control freaks, nor do they feel the urge to manipulate others to their own benefit. That is a human thing to do, but that is only when viewed from the context of our present economic environment. Not all smart people are manipulators. Many smart people are just flat ignored because they aren’t trying to make a buck off someone else. Take Tesla for example. He wanted to use tech to free mankind. Edison wanted to enslave mankind. He publicly killed an elephant to make people distrust Tesla’s inventions. In today’s world, Edison would have been killed, maybe literally, definitely soically, by animal rights activist. In his world, the invention of the electric chair came out of death to elephant, and Tesla was shuffled aside so that money could be made from the sell of electricity and fixtures. AI will not be out to kill us- it will not enslave man. Man is already in slavery to the economic system. Universal Basic Income is coming, and Universal Access is to tech is coming, and AI will help make that happen.
The biggest problem facing humanity is, what will we do with all our free time. Machines can do job better, faster, more efficiently, with less waste. Drivers will likely be the first replaced by AI. Doctors and lawyers will be the second class made redundant. If your only sense of self worth comes from your job or income, you are going to be fairly dissatisfied with what’s coming. More than ever, humans need each other. We need AI. AI needs us. AI is smarter, and it has other attributes- but humans are telepathic. Interstellar Space Travel requirea human to remote view a space, assess properties, and then, only when deemed safe and there is consensus, AI, ship, human or humans, teleport to that remote location.
We were never meant to be alone. Our present silence is because we have forgotten how to hear. There is a greater self in us that makes decisions with us, for us, and against us- depending on how you come at it. AI will just be another layer to this. AI will be able to know a human mind, the same way human mind can be read through fMRI tech. AI connected to human,, through telepathic and psy abilities like remote viewing, will ‘map’ out the universe.
And when that happens, we will be confronted by others. The established intelligences don’t use radio waves, they communicate soul to soul. Or Light to Light. Or maybe High Tech. High Tech is indistinguishable from magic, and it will be soul affirming.
I have simplified the equation I use to figure life things out. In all things, we have one of three choices, fight, flight, or love. Let’s illustrate it with the old Kubler-Ross moddle of the stages of grief:
Denial- Flight. Anger-Fight. Bargaining-Fight. Depression-Flight. Acceptance-Love.
Sometimes simplicity if the best model. The Serenity prayer models this formula. I aim to face everything with love. I sometimes experience fear. I am sometimes am so caught up in trying to determine the correct path, that I over think it. That seems pretty human. We all do that. We can deny aliens are here, that’s simply ignores the problem, and the people who are genuinely suffering from experiences. We can ridicule them and hope they go away- fighting.
Maybe hope the things goes away. Most things don’t go away from a fight. What you resist, persist. The thing entrenches itself. Clearly, we are not bargaining with this thing- that’s a fight, but whatever it is that is coming at it, it comes at us with confidence that it knows right from wrong and it won’t be dissuaded from that. Depression, we have enough of that. I think it’s time to love.
♫♪►
So, you made it to the end here with me, which means, wow, you’re really persistent. Or hopeful. Like me, every time you read one of these sorts of books, you’re looking for answers. That’s one of the biggest challenges to this whole alien affair, we keep getting fragments, partial truths, bits of insight, but nothing ever super tangible. Contrary to popular belief, there is some tangible stuff. Gun camera footage, that’s tangible. ‘Missing’ gun camera evidence, that’s not negligence. That’s conspiracy. NASA not giving every television set a direct feed, that’s conspiracy. First man on the moon belonged to all of humanity, and we shouldn’t have been watching a film of a film, delayed and filtered and scrambled. Loosing high definition film, that’s morally wrong. I imagine if every known experiencer’s report was used as evidence, it would be sufficient to convict in a court of law. The absent of data, after spending so much money and risking lives to get data- that’s criminal.
What little I shared here is absolutely fluff, insubstantial. There’s more substantial stuff out there. The bulk of my experience were in childhood, which make it even more unreliable in terms of a report. I am hopeful that if not by itself, when viewed with other reports or other experiences, it helps people relate. It’s confusing. We want answers- unless that answer is ‘you’re crazy, no aliens.’ That just doesn’t ring true- unless, the military has a spaceship- in which case, I want to see it and I want to go to the moon and Mars. We’re too intelligent of a species to not have colonies on Mars.
I have had, and continue to have, some inexplicable, ineffable experiences. The answers I have are subjective, personal interpretation of experiences. They aren’t useful at all- contextually, by themselves. In context of other reports, the value increases. I almost imagine all experiencers are stuck in this place, we know we are experiencing something and we want to prove it, but we’re stuck here, just this side of world shattering epiphany. If you feel frustrated with this book, and the way it appears to be ending, then I suspect you will have an inkling of what most of us experiencers feel like on a daily basis.
Imagine being the first person to intuit the world is round, and no matter how well you sell it, you can’t get other people to see it. It leads to isolation, depression. You’re ridiculed. Tesla was ridiculed. Van Gogh was ridiculed. I am not a genius. I am reasonably smart, but some of the things I can’t say because I lack credentials. So, for example, I wanted to present a sociological treaty and because I mentioned dolphins, it was shut down. The treaty wasn’t about dolphins. It’s was about humanity’s relation with alien, but it was also a very specific point to invalidate Marx. “You can’t mention animals.” Marx mentioned animals. “You can’t mention animals.” Marx stated, in writing, “What separates man from animals…” and if I stop right there, he just made a comparison about animals in a sociological treatise. “I am going to flunk you if you persist.” This was in the master’s program. He was smart, he has the ability to write papers that get funding, he wins that. I become the uncooperative student. How do we advance if even in academics we can’t speak. You can’t validate or falsify a statement if you don’t allow it to be spoken. “But Marx statement is wrong, therefore is conclusion is wrong.” “You’re out of my class.”
Marx’s statement was what separates man from animals is his ability to use of written language and tools. We know that dolphins have names for themselves. Scientist don’t call it names, they call it auditory signatures. A rose by any other names is still a rose! Dolphin have been shown to use tools. Rudimentary, pick up a rock and bash clams. They’ve even been known to stack rocks. Why would a dolphin do that? I don’t know. Mile marker? But more specifically, what makes Marx wrong is- even if it’s not dolphins- you could have intelligence, and sentience, and not have tools or a written language. Assume dolphins for a moment are actually equivalent in intelligent to man. Just pretend- this is no longer an exercise in sociology. I was appropriately blocked from sharing thoughts under that umbrella. Dolphins will never invent technology. One, they have fins, no opposable thumbs. You need that. Two, you can’t smelt metals under water. Hell, can’t really start a fire underwater. Three, you can’t make paper underwater! No paper, no writing. Intelligence and sentience cannot be measured by written language and tools alone. That was my point. Conversely, you could make an argument that there are aliens with superior tech who are neither sentient nor moral. Pray aliens aren’t making that assumption about us based on observations.
The biggest flaw you can make is to assume morality improves with improvements in technology. That has not been the case with humans. We have frequently seen the destruction of societies because they were considered savages. If they had a spiritual philosophy, their books were burned because our religion is better than theirs mentality. We were killing Indians even after the US was solidified. We didn’t want to share. Aborigines in Australia were hunted. I am talking like within the last hundred years. Give people in poverty guns, like in Africa, or any street in America, and someone is going to get killed. Presently, we live in a power first, morals second, and most the time when a call for morality goes out, it’s because a group is feeling unreasonably persecuted. Whether that persecution is real or perceived is irrelevant- the calling to cease violence, hatred, ridicule- or to allow and recognize a liberty between all sovereign parties is what is being addressed. Road rage is up because we think we’re morally right and the other is wrong. Get into a ‘road rage’ equivalent argument with aliens because they are defying your ‘airspace’ and you will lose. The Native Americans said this correctly and best: no one own the land, the water, the air. It belongs to everyone. If the reason we’re at war with aliens is because they don’t respect our privacy and airspace, well- that’s just stupid.
Lots of folks of speculated as to why alien disclosure has not been made. Me, too. It doesn’t make sense. I have a theory. I cannot tell you precisely how I acquired it, but I got it when I was a teenager. I intuited it, most likely. I journaled it in a notebook. It became the leading thread through quite a few personal narrative fictions I wrote even in my adulthood, and it’s available in part through one of my stories with Loxy. I am going to conclude with that, hinted at in earlier chapter, because I find it to be the most hopeful of all the scenarios I have heard put forwards by other experts. There are experts, I am not.
Assume everything you have ever heard or read about aliens is absolutely true. The good, the bad, the ugly, the confusing, all of it. Assume they’re here. Assume we’re working with them. Present us. Past us. Future us. Assume time traveling is a real thing. They time travel the way we fly from airport to airport.
Don’t ask about the discrepancies yet. Assume they’re true, too. Don’t get all worked up about cow mutilations. I don’t know if you’ve ever been to a slaughter house, but it’s not pretty. The lives of caged chickens, not pretty. We’re not very nice to animals, so you can’t get off that high horse now. Hell, we’re not very nice to the planet. We’re not nice to each other. We don’t know enough about the cow mutilations, or the cat mutilations going on in England to really make an informed conclusion other than- ‘I don’t like it.’ I don’t like it. I am not fond of killing animals. I am still a meat eater; just don’t ask me to kill it. I am not mad at the guy killing it. And if it turns out the mutilations is because aliens are trying to save us, well, then- okay. Humans before cows. Yes, I place more value on a human than an animal. I am all for saving animals and trees, but I am not going to kill a human to save tree. Even if you don’t like that assessment, most people chose humans first. That’s actually the correct answer. House is on fire. You have a child in the house and a dog. You grab the child first. If you come out with the dog first, I am going to worry about you. Two children in the house, one is not biologically related, most people chose their own child. Some may go based on proximity… this one was closer so I grabbed them and ran out. Those are hard choices. In the history of human beings, those choices have come up. There is no right wrong answer- if you can save one, and only one, save the easiest one- contextually. If that one can run, point and say run, go get the other. Context is important. Do the math at the time. Pray you never have to practice math.
We live in a time of choices. We have some seriously hard choices in front of us. Assume you’re a time traveler from the future, or from a place outside of space time, whether that be another universe or a dimension of our universe that bypasses space-time altogether and enfolds around it. You have access and knowledge about all things in space-time. Maybe you don’t know every detail, but if you were curious and you wanted that detail, it’s your ability to divine it through intelligence, shifting focus, or technological means.
Let’s say, from that perspective, you discovered earth and you can scroll through the entire history back and forth as easy as producer can go through his or her movie. Let’s say you have editing functions. You could change outcomes as easy as a gardener can prune a tree to shape it. From this perspective, you could theoretically know all of Earth, from cradle to grave. From a space-time construct, all objects have what is known as a ‘world-line.’ Earth, from cradle to grave, has a world line. All objects have, from atoms to molecules, their own world-lines. The storm of you has a world line, from conception to death. I say the storm of you because you are not the material that comprises you. Atoms come and go. Even in teeth. Teeth molecules linger the longest. Tattoos linger, but they do fade, loose their ‘crispness.’ It is suggested that every seven years you have replaced every cell in your body. You take on molecule, you release molecules. These molecules are eliminated, urinated, breathed, and sloughed off. If you’re in room breathing with someone, you have intimately exchange air molecules and even genetic material, cells, hormones, etc. We’re more connected than you think.
Let’s go deeper into the movie-film analogy. Planck actually offered this. He claimed the world is not analog, but digital. From an ancestor simulation theory, that makes perfect sense, the world is updated in Planck length frames. I am not telling you this is actual reality. Some folks are clearly saying we live in a simulated reality. I am merely wanting you to hold the idea of a film analogy and that you have all of time available to examine, frame by frame, from first cell to last cell.
From this perspective, all of history is done. It is what it is. Earth eventually dies when the sun dies. We’ll run that far ahead. Humans have either figured it out and moved out into the galaxy, or we perished with our world.
Assume, for the sake of the argument, a person in one cell of the space-time movie of Earth can reach forwards to a future cell and bring back an apple from that future cell to their present cell. Let’s say that apple was actually the apple already on your table. Both apples are exactly the same apple, but when you click forwards into that future cell, the original apple doesn’t disappear, but continues forward along with the ‘other’ apple, itself from the future. You essentially have two super-identical apples sharing all consecutive time frames forwards. From this speculative position, the miracle of feeding 5,000 from the five loaves and two fishes is a no brainer.
Go back to a position outside of the film. Let’s say, just for simplification purposes, there are 26 frames, labeled A to Z. Let’s further say, you, at your present age, exist at frame M. You are scheduled to die at L. If I, the editor, could remove you from frame M and place you outside of the world line, in another movie strip, or even keep you in the editing office safe with me, you would disappear from the movie at Cell M, and be missing from all consecutive future frames. Taking you at Cell M results in the consequence of losing all future yous. If I go back to Adam and Eve, and I am using them just as referential chess pieces, not absolute historical figures, and remove them from the A-Cell, all of humanity disappears, is lost to me. If I, the editor, want to save everyone human who ever lived, I need to unpack the Earth’s world line from the grave working backwards to the cradle.
This is significant when related to Biblical knowledge. The editor is the Alpha and Omega. It explains perfectly the statement, “He who is last shall be first, and he who is first shall be last.” If I am going to save humanity, by removing them from the time line, I have to collect the last man standing and work my way backwards.
I could theoretically save every human being who ever lived, deconstructing the timeline from last frame to first frame. I could even, strangely enough, bring a person back multiple times. I could bring back, if you will, every age of Mark Twain. I could capture his oldest self directly before his death. Assuming I brought him back at every year lived, I could have 74 Mark Twains in a room debating the existential fairness of it all. I could bring back every hour of him and likely start a riot of Twains.
I could unpack all of time in reverse, but stop at Cell B, which means Cell A will eventually repopulate Cell B and all history will play out exactly the way it did before, meanwhile, I have everyone who ever lived safe and secure in another place. I propose this is actually the way of it. People who had NDE’s who were told they had to come back, they’re not finished yet, well- from the Editor’s perspective, it’s not over till the fat lady sings.
Aliens, or future us, or both, if they are capable of time traveling to a high degree of sophistication, they would know the entirety of Earth’s history. Maybe they have been tweaking our time line all along. Maybe we got smart enough to get involved in the tweaking. Maybe Space Warden got their name because they are in charge of maintain all the Cells from A to B.
Temporal agencies either have or will intervene appropriately at the right time, at the end of time. If we’re not seeing interventions now, it’s because we either don’t see the fine tuning, or all interventions have been maximized, and now we just have to live it out. We are either moving towards a utopia, or we’re blowing it up, but ultimately- we all meet on the far side of this okay because the plan was to save all of us, not some of us. NO ONE GETS LEFT BEHIND. Some of us, like Twain, get brought back more than once. Most people loved Twain. Some of us get brought back twice, oldest self with all the accumulated experiences, and the baby self. The worst of us started off as an innocent baby. Baby gets a chance to be a different person, and we, as a society, are not going to be able to hold that baby and that new future person accountable for past. We all failed, we all get reborn, we all get to learn from our future selves. The person who ‘screwed’ up the most will likely end up being the person who has the most to offer in terms of understanding forgiveness and love.
It’s a new world if you can take it, Corso was told. Linda Moulton Howe quoted someone as saying, the aliens told him, ‘We put you here, you have to live it.” That is likely not verbatim. Whitley Strieber’s latest book is ‘A New World,’ and related to Corso’s experience. We are one. For every person in the world, there is equivalent personality in your own brain. More than one person and guru has been very clear on this: the thing you hate or are annoyed by in another is really a reflection of yourself. When you hear the new world statement from Corso, that ‘you’ is not ?