Dreamers and Schemers
Dreamers and schemers and would-be redeemers,
all of them telling us how we should live.
Well meaning folk with the best of intentions
or scoundrels just eager for what we can give?
Raiders and traders like old time crusaders
work with a vengeance to plunder and spoil
treading on everyone, searching for eminence
measured in diamonds, in gold and in oil.
Dossers and tossers and mean double-crossers,
people you'd certainly rather not know,
mess up the world by their selfish behaviour,
take you to places you'd rather not go.
Splitters and quitters and lying bull-shitters
promising large but delivering small
making your life so frustrating and difficult,
leaving you banging your head on the wall.
Flankers and wankers and greedy old bankers,
lawyers, solicitors: vultures in suits.
So many snares to entrap the unwary,
so many ways to fall foul of the brutes.
English As It Is Spoke
Broadcasters here, and announcers, must be in a terrible stew
for they've lost at least half of their vowels. Perhaps I should send them a few.
It seems to be o's that they're short of; has anyone got some to spare?
Now would that be o's as in osepipe? or o's as nylons, a pair?
For in Britain we lose many aitches. I'm sure I don't know where they goes.
They're dropped willy nilly all over, per'aps they end up with the o’s.
Why is collecting now clecting? And when did police become pleece?
I'm damned if I know how it started but I jolly well wish it would cease.
Jewelry seems to have joined them for it's joolery now, it appears.
I cringe at the vocalisation, this verbal assault on my ears.
One hears so called experts pronouncing in ways which they really should not;
saying "perido", thinking it's grander, when it's simply pronounced peridot.
And what about that word "specific" that so many people get wrong?
They insist on it being pacific, like the one in the south, in the song.
I know that I'm being pedantic but anemone shares the same fate
becoming an enemy, bless it. It's the ignorance, really, I hate.
Why is so hard for these people to enunciate words as they should?
Perhaps it's to do with their eyesight or their reading is not very good.
And chefs can be very annoying, using "tewmeric", "cewmin" and such
while rocket, the old fashioned salad, is "roquette". It's simply too much!
So what's to be done with the morons who mangle our words in this way?
I'd appreciate any suggestions for it's turning my hair very grey!