W I T H M I L K
B E A T A M O Ł D O C H
C O F F E E
W I T H M I L K
Copyright © 2021 by Beata Mołdoch
coffee with milk thanks to my inner strength thanks to the hands that translated thoughts and feelings into paper thanks to pain and happiness to every soul that reaches for my book be strong
1
coffee with milk your home is there
where you feel you belong 2
coffee with milk i pour milk to my cereal coffee it is enough that life is bitter coffe doesn't have to 3
coffee with milk every contempt broke me every crooked stare broke me every lack of support broke me every doubt broke me every disregard broke me but i'm growing
i bloom
i am a flower
which blooms every year you don't have to water me i'm fed by raindrops 4
coffee with milk you can't just forget it would be too easy you have to learn to live with all that pain there is no guarantee that it will disappear but your strength will begin to bloom 5
coffee with milk planning always gives me a sense of control and freedom as i entered into human relationships i realized how devastating me was my desire to have control you can't control someone else's feelings sometimes you don't even have control over yours feelings 6
coffee with milk sometimes i regret it i imagine what it would be like to be by your side now then i stop
i know i'm in the right place 7
coffee with milk he didn't like coffee then maybe he liked it now 8
coffee with milk time makes me forget what you look like i don't remember the timbre of your voice but i remember your words and how i felt around you 9
coffee with milk sometimes i forget that you are but i can't forget you were with me 10
coffee with milk all you have to do is breathe start with breathing just breathe
11
coffee with milk sugar and salt look the same but taste different people are different don't trust everyone be careful
12
coffee with milk you walk away slowly without explanation without awareness
the less painful way to end 13
coffee with milk your heart will break many times but it will still beat 14
coffee with milk loneliness leads to divorce with oneself loving yourself means marriage to soul difference
15
coffee with milk growing up taught me how to survive but i don't know how to love and how to let love me 16
coffee with milk there is no recipe for a perfect life there is no recipe for a perfect relationship or friendship
there is no recipe for success without sacrifice and hard work viewing a culinary book 17
coffee with milk don't wait for someone who has decided to leave
don't lose yourself 18
coffee with milk being close to you allowed me to grow up you were older
i was melting in the blue of yours eyes your disappearance broke my heart but i am reborn
just a pity
that i'm looking for you in every other guy teenage years
19
but you don't listen you can talk
but can you talking 20
coffee with milk you evoke two extremely dangerous emotions in me
you make me unable to live without you and you make me unable to live with you 21
coffee with milk your body is yours
no one without your consent has the right to touch or change your body body is your home
22
coffee with milk choose people around you very carefully this who you surround yourself with how you give yourself to be treated influences your thoughts, behavior and habits
respect yourself and your time 23
coffee with milk the way how you say what you say
how much you say
reveals a lot about you speech is your calling card 24
coffee with milk i was taught how to be silent and how to shout at the same time now i'm learning how to just speak i'm looking for peace and my place 25
coffee with milk the way some people look at another people hurts me they don't look at them in good way they want people to feel bad contempt for another person is worse than ignorance let's be kind
26
coffee with milk wherever you are
with whoever you are i finally wish you well 27
coffee with milk i wasn't able to answer questions related to you at the time i can answer now
but no one asks anymore 28
coffee with milk he always used commas and periods i wonder
if he put a comma or a period on us 29
coffee with milk friendship is about supporting each other is about loyalty and honesty time doesn't matter distance doesn't matter friendship should be cared just like as relationship
it must be nurtured when you buying a flower in a pot it isn't enough to water it once you have to do it all the time then it will make sense and the flower wouldn't die there is the same with friendship 30
you've already cried out all the pain you think you are worse because you can't cry anymore it's not true
you are still just as sensitive and delicate you are strong and sensitive at the same time
it all strengthens you 31
coffee with milk you can be strong and sensitive at the same time
you have been through so many difficult times it's amazing how emotional you can still be delicate rose with thorns 32
coffee with milk i felt rejected
i realized that i was just underappreciated leaving saved me
33
coffee with milk sometimes the silence is an answer stop sacrificing yourself for someone who doesn't appreciate it 34
coffee with milk i had to learn to deal with my emotions i had to learn to go out to people again i had to start love myself i had to forgive myself and others it all breaks me in half every day they left me with mine hands that started to write life is the longest lesson 35
coffee with milk it's not like you didn't have time for me you didn't want to have time for me it was a choice
i accepted it
36
coffee with milk most of the time
i am surrounded by people who don't understand me i started talking to myself i found a friend and companion in myself inseparability
37
coffee with milk people drink alcohol when they are sad they drink to celebrate something they drink when they want and can i've heard too many times
'alcohol is a good companion'
i pray for anyone
who has fallen into the black hole of alcoholism i pray for anyone who thinks
'i can't be happy without alcohol'
38
coffee with milk people will tell you things that will hurt you or make you happy don't let the content and power of these words affect your day and life 39
coffee with milk people will tell you things that will hurt you or make you happy don't let the content and power of these words
affected on your day and life 40
coffee with milk you were the only one warning me of you i wish i had listened 41
coffee with milk sincerity is not cruel and brutal but no one said
that sincerity will be pleasant too it is about truth
42
coffee with milk i'm driving past your old house i still feel the same feeling i imagine what it would be like the air smells the same the trees are in the same place sometimes i see your friends and i am ruined
by the need of attention from you but i know it won't happen 43
coffee with milk i wish i was the best person that's ever happened to you but ever since you found someone else i realized
that i was just another one 44
coffee with milk your voice was one of the most beautiful sounds i've ever heard i try to drown him out in my mind to forget him
46
coffee with milk many things will break you in half but it won't kill you give yourself time to heal 47
coffee with milk you found way to the door and walked out but you didn't want to find the door to my heart
you took the key with you i was left alone in the room to which you invited me yourself 48
coffee with milk i would like to say that i forgot about you but it's not true
and i'm doing fine
but i can't stop thinking about you now
you are somewhere
with someone
and that someone
is not me
49
coffee with milk we are all ashamed of something and at the same time we ashamed of being ashamed the paradox of shame 50
coffee with milk i didn't feel bored with you it was about me
i was afraid
that i was boring you 51
coffee with milk you pronounce so many words but your actions show something else i can't understand it i had to leave from you 52
coffee with milk i was hurt by you
but over time
it's gonna to be better and better
time heals my wounds it's time consuming but still possible
53
coffee with milk you are the raindrop you are lightning
you are the spark
you are a grain of sand you are a snowflake you are a wave of water you are a gust of wind you are a cloud
you are indestructible and destructible at the same time
54
because i don't know will anyone ever make such a great impression on me like you
55
coffee with milk even the evening reminds me of you i can't remove the part of day 56
coffee with milk perfectionism accompanies me since i remember
and
i'm still wondering is it the biggest advantage or defect
57
coffee with milk i always tell myself that i don't have time for a relationship or i didn't met anyone to be with yet what if
all of this is not true maybe i just
i can't be in relationship or
i don't know how to be with someone 58
coffee with milk i'm afraid of people after all we are so dangerous 59
coffee with milk words are the fruit of your thoughts deeds are an act of your thoughts your body is your home and temple your soul is a mighty empire 60
coffee with milk i look in the mirror and see imperfections which others can't see i look at my reflection i'm trying to love myself all imperfections belong to me they are mine
61
coffee with milk i felt humiliated many times i can't get away from their toxic behavior i can learn how to deal with this but i can't run away from this in my thoughts
i still remember
62
coffee with milk the ice cream is melting if you don't put them in the freezer feelings disappear
if you don't care for them 63
coffee with milk the ground doesn't care what will you sow in her this what you will sow it will grow
your mind is like ground the mind doesn't care what will you instill in it your kind of thinking is just like grains watch what you sow
64
coffee with milk writing this book
i have rejected so many poems written just as many people have rejected me in life 65
coffee with milk the children shouldn't suffer i will fight for goodness and peace for every child
who experiences violence and hatred children are the flowers of this world they can't be harmed 66
coffee with milk i thought i was left with nothing but actually
i was left with all my heart and mind i have everything to deal with my suffering and i move on
67
coffee with milk we give so many chances to others why we can't give a chance to ourselves 68
coffee with milk something is breaking inside me when i coming back to the time when i used to choke on tears i couldn't breathe
i wish i will never suffer again but i know it's not possible we all suffer
suffering is an inseparable part of us and our life
69
coffee with milk you are a work of art which should be protected and admired
70
coffee with milk your cold hands
lead to your warm heart and soul 71
if you are still looking for yourself if you are still looking for your home if you are still looking for your place if you are still looking for your love as long as you listen to your heart you are in the right place 72
coffee with milk he could be here
but he's not here
you can't stop someone by force that's not the point let him go
if he doesn't see himself next to you you deserve true love 73
coffee with milk i told myself many times that i can't live without you but time goes and goes i didn't even notice that i'm already living without you and i'm fine
74
coffee with milk if that person
gives you false hopes goes away
and comes back
that person
doesn't deserve your devotion 75
coffee with milk we built a house full of memories a house full of dreams a house full of promises a house full of loyalty and good you're not here anymore will i be able to live alone in our house friend like you
76
coffee with milk i slowly forget what brought us together but i can't forget
what separated us
it's too strong
i blame myself for everything 77
coffee with milk i promised myself
that i will never give myself to any man again
i was lying
78
coffee with milk i wanted to be next to you but you kept rejecting me i had to leave
because it was slowly destroying me 79
coffee with milk you can never ask for another person's respect
respect is something what you deserve always if someone doesn't respect you or your time
you have to let go
uprooting
80
coffee with milk i was catching butterflies but i never wanted to hurt them there was a desire to touch delicate and amazing creatures in the little girl
which i was
81
coffee with milk the tone you are talking to me makes me cry
i'm losing my strength i have to leave you if i want to feel good 82
coffee with milk in one moment
i felt happy to be with you again and i felt sad
knowing that you are going to disappear anyway
83
coffee with milk you're angry at me
because i'm changing but changes are needed changes are a process we need changes
every change is good as long as it's good for our life and us 84
coffee with milk being a woman teaches me to be strong every day being a woman is independence being a woman is an inner strength as women
we give life
the woman is the seed that sows life 85
not because i was weak i walked away from you because i've been too strong for too long 86
not to ask women about their age but why
they don't teach
to ask women for consent for touch
87
coffee with milk i quit alcohol
at the moment when i realized how much alcohol takes from me and how little it gives me good unprofitable replacement 88
coffee with milk i am grateful to the universe that he gave me my own luggage with which i go through my life i fall
i get up
and i'm still fighting 89
is not a meeting place for everyone your body
is a temple
you sending invitations to your temple you allow entry and visitation 90
coffee with milk every time i write
i feel
how writing heals me how writing calms me down but i can feel too
how writing destroys me introduces me to loneliness 91
coffee with milk the moon sees
the smile of the sun every day the sun knows the dark sides of the moon unity
92
coffee with milk when i was a child
i always dreamed
to be able to read other people's minds now
i can just imagine
how much it would destroy me the limit of knowledge 93
coffee with milk i've always wondered how is it
when someone loves you i didn't know that feeling untill i started to love myself 94
coffee with milk you won't find your place if you won't be looking for 95
it was impossible for me to open eyes under water then it turned out
it was possible
in the past
impossible for me was to write a book
now
i am writing
96
coffee with milk i was thinking
that you are a sister but you left
when you realized
from the fact that
being next to me
it doesn't pay off for you 97
coffee with milk you try to drown out emotions with music but you only listen to Radiohead 98
coffee with milk i forbid myself
contact with you
but again
i'm breaking the rules 99
coffee with milk i grew up in this place but it doesn't mean that i'm fine here
it doesn't mean
that i want to stay here 100
coffee with milk love will give you life love will give you strength but love
can also destroy you love will be unpredictable 101
not to cry over spilled milk but how can i not cry for you 102
coffee with milk the most attractive part of the body is brain
103
coffee with milk you don't have to be perfect important is
that you will just be real 104
coffee with milk i call my book a my child because it's
my reflection
it's my treasure
it's my heart on paper 105
coffee with milk i decided to leave
it was the best
and at the same time the most sensible decision 106
coffee with milk i want so much to run away from the place where i am being here triggers negative emotions in me
i want freedom
107
coffee with milk they told me to ask but they don't answer when i ask questions 108
coffee with milk i ask the universe
will it ever be given to us again be together
109
coffee with milk during entering adulthood i have wondered many times do i can handle everything what if i don't
i entered adulthood and i repeat to myself every day how wonderful it is to be here and deal with everything 110
coffee with milk bitterness in your voice destroyed my hope for a future together 111
coffee with milk in the past i had expectations of people they were let me down every time now
i only have expectations of myself 112
i treat it like therapy 113
coffee with milk you were my greatest reason to happiness
you were the biggest reason to cry too i was so torn apart but it didn't completely destroy me 114
coffee with milk if we are meant to be together it will just happen i gave you a choice 115
coffee with milk i don't love them back i only want that person which doesn't want me 116
coffee with milk cookie recipe
make a cookie dough add a little chocolate cut out the shapes
bake cookies
invite someone you love 117
coffee with milk i don't even care anymore where are you
who are you with
i am free from you
118
coffee with milk my life is mine
i am the author
i will decide the content of my story and things beyond my control i will accept it with humility 119
coffee with milk if there are toxic people in your life they take away your strength and energy you have to cut off the toxic roots and then you can plant flowers 120
coffee with milk i don't think i will ever believe again in words
'i will be here forever'
thanks to you
121
coffee with milk don't expect support from someone who doesn't support anyone except himself
122
coffee with milk i still perfectly remember the smell of your perfume
although i shouldn't go back to that but i'm coming back 123
coffee with milk being a woman is a responsibility being a woman is fear being a woman is strength 124
look for a way
even if it seems to you that there is no way out anymore 125
coffee with milk i don't complain
but it doesn't mean that i'm fine
126
coffee with milk i am the spark of creativity which many people try to extinguish 127
coffee with milk writing is like an escape for me when i write i am in another world writing heals and destroys me they are trying to take it away from me but they don't know that it's part of me writing is me
128
coffee with milk if you want to write you have to be honest with yourself the point is
to write in harmony with your heart 129
coffee with milk i've been waiting for your call for so long i was able to count a few months already 130
coffee with milk you confuse coffee with tea you confuse friendship with love 131
that one day i will lose my harmony i'm afraid
that it not my hands will stop writing but the heart and mind will stop writing 132
coffee with milk maybe it's better that you are already gone i've always lost my mind with you i prefer to have my mind in right place awareness
133
coffee with milk you don't have time for me anymore while i gave you all my time 134
coffee with milk after all i don't know do you love me
do you hate me
anything would be better than silence 135
coffee with milk the only person
who understands me
it's me
i trust myself
136
coffee with milk it's still hurts me when i see you everywhere but just not here
137
coffee with milk if music heals you
just listen music
if reading heals you just read
if writing heals you just write
heal your heart in the best possible way 138
coffee with milk i was so hurt
that i didn't know if you caused me more pain or i caused myself more pain 139
coffee with milk narcissists won't care for you they will benefit from your kindness and loyalty
when you don't even notice it 140
is much more difficult than i thought but i know
that it is necessary to get myself back
141
coffee with milk some people will be like sugar to you some people will be like salt to you 142
boil the milk
but you don't have to do that cold milk will be fine too add a little cocoa
mix everything together you can add sugar
or a sweetener
invite someone
who you care about
143
coffee with milk i'd like to get away from you i can escape physically but not mentally
144
gives me so many opportunities i judge reality
but i also judge people imperfection
145
coffee with milk conflict of values
it takes me away from so many people 146
coffee with milk freedom is my greatest desire will it ever be given to me to be free
is it too much
147
coffee with milk i'm hiding when i write i hide what i love
i hide myself
148
coffee with milk i started to manipulating people because i was manipulated by people too 149
coffee with milk the place i grew up killing me
it shouldn't be like that 150
coffee with milk one thought worries me that i write the most when i'm sad
and
that i write every day 151
coffee with milk each person is responsible for his own actions don't let anyone tell you that he did something wrong because of you
152
coffee with milk all of this is also difficult for you too every day
i'm trying to understand how you feel why do you act this way i am trying to reach you we all suffer
153
coffee with milk the day i cried the most was the day you had the best time 154
coffee with milk i paint my life with different colors but you are my favorite color which is missing on my canvas 155
coffee with milk i don't even know
how did you taste
156
coffee with milk the choice of loneliness it is a decision with many consequences but
we still decide to do it 157
coffee with milk the bruises on the body will heal wounds in the heart won't heal 158
coffee with milk i give myself false hopes that you will change yet but slowly
i stop believing
159
coffee with milk every quarrel with you rips my heart out of my chest 160
coffee with milk even the sounds remind me of you 161
coffee with milk i still remember
although i hide it perfectly it is impossible for me to forgive you 162
is your home
take care of your home 163
coffee with milk you can eat alone
you can sleep alone you can run alone
you can watch movies alone you can spend your life alone but you know well that loneliness will slowly destroy you
164
coffee with milk his name makes me despair 165
coffee with milk i dream of love
but i suppose
that i don't even know what is it like to love someone 166
coffee with milk i should give up on you just like you gave up on me 167
coffee with milk i can't be in places where we used to be together 168
coffee with milk you were so fascinated by my mind why did you go away so fast there was no hope
in your goodbye
169
coffee with milk coffee with milk
boil the water
as many as you need choose your favorite coffee look for milk in the refrigerator if you don't have milk no worries
sugar for those willing you don't have to invite anyone 170
coffee with milk until you feel good about yourself you won't feel good with someone 171
coffee with milk you left me when i was a teenager i have become a woman fruitful tree
172
coffee with milk when some man will offend a woman remind him that
thanks to the woman he got his life
173
coffee with milk i want someone
who will be the sweetener in my life 174
coffee with milk it's so hard for me to forgive others
sometimes
i can't even forgive myself 175
coffee with milk you are so bad for my health do it to someone else i'm already fed up with this 176
coffee with milk you didn't water the flowers you are surprised that they withered 177
coffee with milk i have overcome every disease i deal with my weaknesses but i still can't cope with your leaving 178
coffee with milk every day puts enormous pressure on me i learned to function without people but it doesn't mean that it's better without them 179
coffee with milk i feel so damaged internally you took away all my happiness and health i won't get it back but i want freedom at least 180
that i have crossed the pain threshold a border
181
coffee with milk i'd like to be in a place in which i will find peace and
kindness
182
coffee with milk but the flowers don't cry or scream when we pick them from gorund just like some people some people don't cry in front of us nor do they shout at us when we hurt them
which doesn't mean
that these people not suffer they suffer as well as the flowers but in silence
183
coffee with milk i know the taste of salty tears perfectly they are more familiar to me than the taste of sugar 184
that i can't show you feelings i was not taught how to do this 185
coffee with milk at least i forgot
what was your phone number self care
186
coffee with milk our friendship
has always been problematic but beautiful at the same time we knew it would end one day but i wasn't ready for it that it will end so suddenly all these years
187
coffee with milk even if no one else cares about me i will take care of myself 188
coffee with milk i console myself with a thought that you miss it too although i know i'm only deluding myself i guess i'm afraid of the truth 189
coffee with milk pancakes with chocolate make a dough for pancakes you need a little more milk than last time a bit of oil
then fry the pancakes you can fry as much as you like or can you don't have to invite anyone but it's fun to eat pancakes with someone 190
coffee with milk maybe we will be better off separately 191
coffee with milk now the days are longer but this time
i don't even care
bacause we spend our evenings separately 192
coffee with milk you make mistakes in text messages you make mistakes in life 193
you will bounce off the bottom 194
in my book you have read my poems and snippets of my thoughts. you have passed through my heart and you know my thoughts. here i led you by the hand and i know that you are strong. thank you for listening me. your coffee with milk doesn't have to be bitter at all.
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