45.
this existence can barely contain life
it certainly fails to contain death
then how much more can we expect it
to contain love
but i digress...
after the death of his mother
only one possibility remained
capable of drawing majnuun back
to the human realm:
union with layla
so it is fitting that we return to her
upon receiving the letter from majnuun weeks ago
she was moved into a deep sadness
she sought isolation as her salve
because the pain of love ran so deep and unrelenting
within her
abiding in the confines of her tent
she couldn’t help but reflect
on how the expanse of her life
was experienced mostly as a prisoner
first, there was the prison of youth
it was in this prison
that she first drowned in the brutal ocean of love
then there was the prison of her father’s protection
who denied her the privilege of being betrothed
to the only man she loved
and when the straits became dire for her clan
she was transferred from one warden to another
within the prison of her marriage
although her husband didn’t torture her
with attempts of a forced intimacy
this confinement had among its intentions
the aim of starving her into a submissive
hunger for him
“will my life ever have a taste of freedom”
she asked herself
majnuun could roam the sands in rebellion
“why not me”
the moment building within the inner shadows
until she could no longer bear the candles’ flames
she barged out of the tent
to confide somehow in the moonless sky
she just ran into the desert, a mad dash
chasing the endless ends of the sky
her body running until she could run no more
forced to rest in the silence
between her heaving breaths something stirred
yet her mind found a calm within the palpitations
until a kind of whisper was heard
beckoning her to a rivulet not too far away
perhaps there she could find a place
to hide from the agony suffocating her soul
she treaded lightly until she reached a
concealing grove
and entered quietly into its quietude
as she approached a point where
the walking path split
she saw a dimmed shadow
yet the figure of the man aroused no fear
her courage was rewarded to reveal
it was the old man
he had to be a messenger of the beloved
with some type of news to share
he stepped forward with a smile
as if he was expecting her
“speak to me, old friend
of the one for whom my love will never end”
“he awaits word from you
keeping vigil in the remote heights
yet even still his songs to you
paint the lands with your praise
have you a letter or word
for me to bring to him”
“i have suffered him long enough
no longer will i abide by the prison’s rules
take these earrings which i loose from my ears
as payment for you to bring him here
in this secret garden let me gaze into his eyes
for then i will know firsthand
whether the legend of his love for me
equals, supersedes, or is less than the truth
“one gaze to taste his sincerity
one gaze to experience the power of his longing
bring him here in the shade of night
then deliver a sign to my tent
and i will run to him
so we may have what we have long awaited”
the old man took the earrings of fine pearls
and rushed off into the night
he rode to that mountain slope
where majnuun had been keeping vigil
but there was no sight of him
and all trackings had been erased
so he began to wander the region’s terrain
asking about majnuun
but no one had any recent sight of him
yet the old man kept hope
until, by fate’s grace, majnuun was found
at the base of another mountain range
a sweet reunion it was
as majnuun’s excitement so excited his companions
he had to settle down the animals
as they calmed
the old man dismounted and kneeled
before majnuun
to deliver his message
“i come as an emissary
delivering a sacred message
layla has requested that you come to her”
“has her husband died”
“no, but she will no longer be ruled by customs
that bar you the right to visit her
without her his permission
the secret place is secured
where your eye can peer into hers direct
testimony of your well-being no longer sates
her curiosity
she has said in her own words
that she wants to see you herself
and i’m sure she will adore
any verses you might recite to her
“come,
it has already been many days
since she discharged me with this mission
let not these waking moments delay any longer
the living of the dream fate has so far denied”
* * *
the old man mounted his horse
with majnuun sitting behind him
off they rode into the night
with the animals trailing as their tail
as the sun set the next day
they arrived at a remote plain
where the animals were to wait
while majnuun visited with layla alone
there,
the old man pulled out a fine silk attire
he dressed the desert rebel in wears fit
for a noble
and as the dark of night began to descend
kissed by the light of the waxing crescent moon
the old man escorted majnuun
into that secluded grove
and told him to wait there
that layla would arrive soon
after he delivered her the sign to come
so he waited
as layla completed her night prayers in her tent
so then poked her head outside
for any sign of that courier of love
there he was in the distance, as if on guard
holding a torch upon his horse
upon seeing this,
she rushed inside and grabbed a candle
and flashed it outside her tent
he rode away
she quickly retreated inside
she grabbed a dark colored cloak
to veil herself within the darkness
started to look into a mirror
but then cursed herself
for being concerned about appearances
before the eyes of her beloved
she then tore away into the night
leaving all caution to her trailing footsteps
she fled with great speed into the dark expanse
her heart beating faster than her steps
her breaths striving to keep pace
but she slowed as she neared the grove
an attempt to prepare
for what no preparation could bestow
until her steps suddenly stopped
because there he was
the old man stood guard,
stationed at his new post
with his eyes, he signaled
majnuun was within
crossing that threshold into seclusion
she grew faint and flustered
and clutched the forearm of the old man for support
the steadiness of his walk became her cane
his peaceful presence, her chaperone
she was flooded with the anxiety
of a dumbstruck bride
being led to the forefront of a solemn ceremony
a bend in the path and there he stood
dressed like a groom before an invisible altar
only ten steps away
those eyes, that face...
and yet those ten steps
became an uncrossable ocean
that wouldn’t even let her look
its force turning her face away
swooned, she struggled to not drown
in the ocean’s mist
“i cannot do it,” she uttered
her voice barely becoming a whisper
“my feet cannot move,
to breathe is too much
the distance of the sun allows its light
to not consume us
but to go any further
is to be annihilated
“be my voice
go to him and ask him to speak
maybe even a qasidah of his to stir my ears
and settle my heart
let him know i am here, listening
but am too overwhelmed to come closer
please, i beg you...”
her voice faded
her eyes shut
the old man obliged
as he helped the woozy layla lean upon a tree
but when he turned to approach majnuun
he wondered where he had gone
why would he flee...
oh no, he had fallen faint upon the ground
his body splayed in disarray
the courier rushed to the noble lover
not wanting this chance to escape
he quietly pleaded for majnuun to awake
and that he did
his dazed eyes opening in the direction
of the silhouetted layla,
her form distinct from the tree
in the spontaneity
of her image upon his eyes
magic spoke forth...
❍ ● ❍