49.
nothing that unfolds in life
is random or coincidental
everything has relevance
once viewed
through the comprehensive lense
of one’s whole life
we will realize that everything that happened
was perfect for the moment in which it occurred
yet for most,
this realization is only attained
after the body has exhaled its last breath
when the colored lenses
of desires and opinions
are shattered by death
the apparent beauty and fortune of layla’s life
was in open conflict with her experience of it
all her physical beauty
the pomp of wealth that surrounded her
the fame of her name as majnuun’s obsession
none of these did anything to ease
the deep sense of unfulfillment strangling
her life force
there was only ever increasing agony
and her patient forbearance
was becoming a cutting blade itself
happiness was seemingly slipping away
into an unseen abyss
yet we should not forget
that her husband, bakht ibn salaam
was also a victim of unrequited love
although he kept her as a hostage
his love for her was sincere and true
he yearned to have his love draw the grace
of her love
which is why he never sought to coerce
her affections
for there is no compulsion in love
yet no love so strong and unreciprocated
can be held long
without afflicting the lover
for some time he was able to keep at bay
the growing inner decay
the mirage of a happy marriage
did not stop the poison of disappointment
spilling forth within
his body stricken with invisible flames
a deadly fever was burning his vitality away
although he felt it, he kept it as a secret concealed
until the illness evoked its own exposure
we would be wise to remember
destiny has no concern for mortals
it will unfold as decreed
without regard for human whims
even dressing its manifestations
within the facade of worldly happenings
a doctor was called
assessed his body and prescribed a treatment
the prognosis was concerning yet with hope
for bakht was young and still strong enough
to will himself to victory if he wished
yet the doctor saw a deeper sickness in his soul
one that could undercut any physical treatment
when questioned,
the bed stricken man could not refrain
from confessing the secret pain
he kept hidden so long
“this marriage is a cruel farce
a failure on my part
her heart remains in the hands of that majnuun
“sure,
she plays the role of a wife to a certain extent
but rejects all my heartfelt affections
and yearning devotion
i am but a king reduced to a pawn
yet i cannot slay my opponent
for her loss means only my own devastation
with victory denied
this draw is a defeat for me too
for how can i remain unbroken
when the one i love would rather die
than yield me her love
“to suffer this fate
with her being within hand’s reach...
all faith is in vain...”
his sobbing tears completed his confession
the doctor,
who was a measured philosopher of hope,
would not leave his patient
without an invitation to encouragement
“true love is never left empty-handed
although sometimes the way to the prize
is full of challenges we must persevere
who knows,
this bout of illness may arouse a sympathy
by which she lets you in,
to her heart
“but whatever is to be
the best condition to meet such
is within good health
so seize your recovery
the regimen prescribed is strict but proven to work
then with a mind resting in restored vigor
let this matter be reconsidered”
* * *
the doctor’s words proved an inspiration
as bakht abided by the physician’s regimen
although his health returned
the situation with layla remained unchanged
which spurred a greater pain
of greater disappointment
and deeper grief
so he abandoned the regimen
seeking his medicine in unhealthy foods and drinks
and like a spirit revived
the fever returned with greater fury
this time,
bakht was stricken beyond the reach
of full recovery
the physician was honest
at best,
bakht could only regain a portion
of his former health
how much,
only time could tell
if he adhered unswervingly
to an even stricter regimen
but bakht was a prideful man
the prospects of an incapacitated life
were completely uninviting
thus, his will to live departed
and so followed the progression to his last breaths
draped with indecipherable mutters
that seemed to be tainted with regret
a painful grinding toward that final halt
when the last gasp fled in the hollow of the night
a shallow echo
that quickly disappeared
into the passing silence
did it matter that his wish
for layla to stand by his deathbed
went unfulfilled
the memory of such would have been short lived
within the dementia the fever burned upon his mind
instead she kept a vigil of mourning within her tent
still refusing to cross any line
that might make him think
she, the prisoner,
was complying with being his wife
she was saddened by his death
yet also relieved
a glimmer of hope was now at hand
but the promise of freedom
was only partial for now
still a dream deferred
it would be two years
before she could discard the widow’s veil
or even receive another man as her guest
the customs of the time deemed
a period of two years of isolation and mourning
to honor her husband’s passing
another two years
before she could even see majnuun again
but at least now
she could cry and mourn openly for him
for no one would question if her tears
were cried for anyone but bakht
her present tears
were only a continuation of the many years
of hidden tears
for her beloved majnuun
tears she would continue to cry
openly and in private
until she was united with him
so the bridal tent
which refused to become a matrimonial tent
became her widow’s tent
and yet, no less of a prison
the only difference was that
the indefinite sentence
was now commuted to a fixed term
two more years would offer
the opportunity of release
if majnuun could survive it
she was determined to survive it
only two more years
and she could finally
be with majnuun
❍ ● ❍