There I was in Walmart, waiting for a health inspector to verify that I had only purchased candy and pop and not school supplies when the thought struck me that our society is suffering from a deplorable lack of stupid ideas. Since I always like to help out wherever I can, I sat down and compiled a list of stupid ideas by scratching them onto my hand with a piece of glass left in the rubble after a rally for peace.

(Notepads and pens are deemed as unhealthy.)

I hope these ideas will help you the next time you are looking for something stupid to do.

*Note that this is a tongue-in-cheek work of satire and as such may offend and/or annoy. The best solution for this is to unleash your wrath in the comments section below. Posting on Facebook has been known to solve a multitude of problems…taking offense is only one of them.

Celebrity Culture. The idea that the smartest thing to do is to make a spectacle of yourself.

Conservatism. A system of complaining about Liberalism.

Communism. The idea that the smartest thing we can do is to get everyone to do the same stupid thing all at the same time…for the benefit of everyone.

Censorship. The act of ensuring that a stupid idea will never be challenged.

Democracy. The idea that the one who can fool the most people at once deserves the greatest power.

Dictatorship (also known as idiocy, as opposed to democracy). The idea that if you’re smart you won’t ask stupid questions.

Fan. Someone who likes what you can do for them.

Friend. Someone who appreciates you for who you are.

Free Speech. What those other people shouldn’t have.

History. The record of wrongs we could learn from if we weren’t out to convince ourselves that we are always right.

Individualism. The idea that you should be free to be as stupid as you want to be without anyone telling you no.

Liberalism. A system to complain about Conservatism.

Police State. The answer to all our problems and the solver of none. Also known as the state of delusion.

Politics. The art of convincing people that you are the right person for the job, even while you are doing everything wrong.

Philosophy. The art of asking questions about everything except the reason why we are asking questions in the first place.

Social Media. Media for people who aren’t being social.

Stupidity. Any ideas that we don’t like. For example, this article.

Television. A device designed to communicate stupid ideas to millions of people at the same time.

Truth. The foundation we are looking for.

Wisdom. Knowing that if being stupid is the answer, you haven’t been asking the right questions.

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Thought of the Day. Hyenas run in packs of frenzy and noise but a lion shows its strength by lying alone and enjoying the stillness.