Nobody has asked for this…but then, 2020 has been full of things that nobody wanted, hasn’t it? With that in mind, here is Uncle Kelly’s list of recommended reads for the holidays.
- How to Ignore People and Move On With Your Life by Sidney Gristwold. Many people find themselves sucked into arguments that go nowhere…and go on and on. This helpful guide shows you how to, a. ignore the propaganda of people who are just trying to get under your skin, and, b., carry on doing what you do. A must-read before your next social media session. 39.98 in Hardcover. Simon & Schmoozer.
- Alone for Christmas by Stephen King. Another heartwarming tale from the master of holiday stories. This story will inspire you in ways that other holiday stories won’t. That’s what somebody posted on social media anyway…and since people on the internet have never been known to misrepresent the facts, I look forward to diving into this book with a cup of hot chocolate by my side. Holiday spirit here we come! 28.69. Hatchet Publishing.
- The Joy of Regulations. My Life as a Civil Servant by Arthur Sneed. An extremely detailed look at provincial subsections a to z, followed by a deeper explanation of forty years of zoning codes make this book a must-read before bedtime. Arthur is proud of his achievements in the war on progress and it shows on every page. Also available in a collectible tin wrapped in tinsel and red tape. Only 59.95 plus applicable taxes and fees. Dweezil Publishing.
- Capitalism for Dummies. I was going to write a review of this book but the publisher didn’t pay me for my time, so I thought why bother? 19.95 Publishing International.
- How I Kicked Television and Lived to Tell the Tale by Finley Frakes. Finley was a normal young man until television took over his life. In this book we see him move from just watching tv on the weekends with friends to the dark depths of drowning himself in television every single day. In a desperate effort to improve the marketability of his book, Finlay goes into lurid details of his withdrawal symptoms after finally quitting television cold turkey. The original ideas he started coming up with, the time he gained for productive pursuits, the improved relationship with his spouse are all here in horrifying detail. All in all, this makes it an excellent read for the holidays. Only 12.95 in paperback. Soon to be a TV Movie as well!
I hope this list helps inspire your reading time this December. If it doesn’t, well, stay tuned for my Valentine’s Day reading list!
***
Thought of the Day. After yet another porridge binge by Goldilocks filled their home with broken furniture and regret, the three bears vowed to be more vigilant about who they let into their lives.
Yes, the bears were willing to forgive Goldilocks for her human failings, but they would not let her continue to practice them in their home.
The bears had their bear necessities and they wanted to protect them. And so, the three wise bears kept watching…both for their own mental well-being and the health of their cubs.
The destruction, the denials, and the cover-ups had to stop.
If Goldilocks dared to return for more porridge, the bears would be ready to stage an intervention.
Goldilocks 2: The Revenge. Coming soon to a theater near you. Rated B for extreme bear content. Parental Guidance recommended…for Goldilocks.
