AKING ON WATER
Now people are taking shots
At me, to my face, people who
Used to be meek, mild
Never been seen, so bold
And there is combination of
Reasons: we had to sel our
suddenly less and less valuable
Home, and moved into my
Father in laws, while we planned
Our new house, on property behind
His house, bought for the express purpose Of giving to his children. My
Wife is the second of his children
To accept, but has since been
Laid off her job. While these
Events were occurring, I
Self published two books, both
Now on Amazon.com; but
Neither one is paying any bills
The combination of these
two events has drastically
changed how people react to me, us
and it has rarely been for
the better.
6-09
Working
In Group Homes
For The Mentally Ill
1994-1995
123
Susan
Stumbling somberly, into town, shuffling Shoeless through the snow, alone, for coffee And cigarettes, mumbling emphatically Of things we'll never know
Toes are numb to blue...
Trusting in no one, finding
Saboteurs in every situation...
Paranoid to the point, (and past)
Of madness...
Complete
In a world of her own
Creation...
For those who seek
To help her?
There is only
Pure frustration.
‘94
125
Hospital-ity
Sent here when all hope is lost
When family cannot bear the cost
Of fragile patience, sanity
The “mad”
Are cast off with hostility…
Work, At The Psych. Center
Some see in here –
A lack of mental movement
And offer pills, showing some
A sort of blind
“Improvement”
Parents, friends, “administration”
We feed the fear, and speed the fall Into never ending madness –
The end result of sadness; yet
Some here hold on to hope
Some even dare to dream –
All find the strength, somehow
To laugh, so I
Join in…
Here
We’re making love
To madness…
127
Mouse trap (ped)
Devoid of hope
The decrepit
Pace
Endless
-ly pacing
to and fro
chasing the cheese
mice on the go
pacing the halls
of the maze
with a dead eye
glaze. 12'94
Lost
Wandering, aimless
Round and round the madhouse
Empty glances
Without hope
Pacing
Pacing
Re
Tracing
Endless steps
Empty thoughts
End of the dream
Life
Without hope
Groping for meaning
Searching
For lost desire
Lost
Before the games
begun. 12'94
129
No One Knew
Used to fill
Quite a few
Notebooks
No one knew
And I stopped
For a while
Recently
Because I told
Someone
And the secret was out
I mean
My girlfriend knew
Or must have noticed
The steady flow
Of discarded colored
Notebooks
Think now, I'll begin
Again
Thought I'd let you know
Or maybe
because
I let you know. 1'95
Toil On
Toil in terror
Every day
Struggling, lost
To find our way
Give up, retreat
Toil in terror
Another day.
131
Counter Point
There are two types
Of poems. One
Where we attempt to build
And make a certain point,
Then two, Where we search
For one within the work.
1'95
(Need Time? No Time?) Make Time!
Time is eternal,
Unavoidable
Unstoppable...
Agreed.
But it is not
Lost
Nor found
It is
Made.
2'95
133
Wasted Time
Listening
To the basketball game
Reading to pass
The time, reading
To waste the time
Reading
To occupy my mind...
The inn keeper, here
At the madhouse
4 are home, with family
Who don't want them
Every day,
Who sent them to the state
Where we choose
To ignore them...
Hoping they'll go to bed
Early; Hoping
family will come
get them. Hoping
To take our pay
And get
Out! Before we go
Mad with them, or
Because
of them; Because...
We cannot help
Them.
1'95
Bored (of, by and for) I am bored
of the people
I know
&
I am bored
by the people
I know
&
I am boring
for the people
I know...
1'95
135
Useless Crap
You have to live your life
Right
But all the rest
Is useless crap
Our accomplishments
In hindsight
Have been...
Well
Intended
Useless crap
And a fool believes
Otherwise.
1'95
The Absurdity
The absolute
Inadequacy
Of our actions
The impossibility
Of
Our circumstance...
The
Absurdity
Of our lives...
A religious
Reality.
Thy will be done.
The
Ecstasy.
1'95
137
Why not, like everyone else?
My family
lover
friends
wonder
Why
poetry?
Why
depressing?
are you
depressed?
Readers
of the same
reiterate
concurring,
why
poetry?
Are you
depressed?
I am a writer
though I know not why
but if I knew
the answer
what would I
write
about?
12'94
F
low
Searching for the flow, that will
Bring meaning to our life
We wander, aimlessly
And we never really know...
12'94
139
Don't Rush
Politics
don't make the man
(Rush
Limb
augh)
The man must make
his politics.
12'94
Today
What you did
Yesterday
Will haunt your day
Today...
Live your life
And remember, that today
And live your life
As if there's no tomorrow...
1'95
141
Faith
Lord
Grant me fair humility
Where my will is strong
And grant me extra patience
To keep my views where they belong.
& Lord
Grant me fair humility
If my head begins to swell
With information, knowledge
Show me & I will tell... 2'95
Early Poems
1992-1993
143
War & Terrorism
Who'd say that the Irish
Aren't fighting for freedom?
Only if someone
Were to split our nation
By driving the wedge
Of irreversible religious prejudice And plunging the sharpened stake
Through the heart of our people
Would we know their terror...
And then, and only then
Can we pass judgment.
Terrorism?
Is all not still fair
in love and war?
Here's something more
How many were killed
In our own Civil War?
And how many civilians, in the name of freedom Died in Baghdad? For freedom, no?
There are now rules? For war?
Or simple propaganda?
My vote is with the latter.
'92
145
We Hold These Lies To Be Self Evident...
(In Honor of Joseph Doherty)
Our opinions are reformed
With each and every discussion
A renovation to the halls
In the castles of our conscience
Subtle redecoration, for
The rooms of our opinion
If we open up the windows
To the free flowing currents
Of warm breezes of truth,
And cold drafts of deceit
That travel up to the attic
Of our deepest subconscious thoughts...
So don't protect our eyes
With colored shades and paint
From the sunshine of the truth...
They simply are no use.
It's plain enough to see
The grim reality
Of the lies you hold as truth
So let the truth be known
And let these lies be shown
Free The Republic of Ireland
4'92
Of Compromise and Further Lies...
A dishonest man denies
And lives a life, that's full of lies Lives his life out, as a fraud -
For he denies, his life
(As ours)
Is but a compromise...
3'93
147
Good Morning
(Inspired by Maya Angelou, and her poem which she read at Clintons inaugural) A Rock, A River, A Tree
Her words of hopeful wisdom
True words, flow easily...
And offer one, potential
Reality...
Her words, still true,
Just beg us
For this and only these
That our open eyes may see...
And reclaim humanity.
1'93
The Sweetest Sound
(Not So Many Problems?)
A solitary thought, is
Coming unto me, until
Again and again I see
That problem after problem, are
To be; Coming on forever -
And the only thinking thoughts
(Whenever)
Are how to problem solve, and
On this our live revolve...
Not so many problems -
my naiveté suggests, for
Compared to other forms of life
It's the humans' that is best...
Content-
Ment; So rarely found -
For in us all, true fears abound
Yet still, in all
Our own laugh's sweetest found.
11'92
Published by “The Advocate”, NY
149
Persist!
As I traveled, late last night
I came upon a narrow
Streaming line of light
That seemed to shine, exclusively
On a single square of walk
Whose color showed no fade, it
Was smooth, a grayish shade...
So stand amazed, do I
As I surmise it's fate...
One not caused by weight
A single root, from nearby tree
Had caused a crack so clean
What a struggle there had been!
The slab was split...
A slice
Was angled in one corner
What a sight!
A plot so perfect -
Persistence...
Over time
Had done it!
9'92
Potential
Again and again, I saw
A young man throw a ball,
Then receive it from the wall -
And I, approaching
Walk
(THUD)
Closer...
(THUD)
Closer...
(THUD)
Closer...
Say to him, "Hey!
The Yanks could use some pitchin',
Could you fill the role of closer?"
A confident smile, he says
"Yeah, no problem" -
But didn't think quite yet...
Remember!, (I meant to say)
As you grow -
It's just that, well -
Most of us forget...
We can
If we want to
And don't.
4'93
151
Any Publishing Consideration
(Would be greatly appreciated)
I'm waitin' for the
mail again
I need a chance, to let
the books begin -
not in my
right, mind
I guess. Not bred
in your ideal, not
honed for great
success. But I'm
Sure there is a place, I
Must satisfy some taste, or
Are all the words a waste...?