Greatness on command, or even –
Of meaning to our clan…
-But don’t be fooled –
One must always meet demands.
1’94
171
Life And Times
Life can be cruel
And time is unkind –
Time takes your body
While Life takes your mind.
Or, how about
Life can be cruel
While time is unkind –
Time takes your body
But Life takes your mind.
173
Who?
It’s better to be judged
Unfairly
For now
Than it is to be forgotten
Forever.
1’94
Heartbreak
If common sense could ever reach us This is the lesson our life teaches: All our pleasure involves some pain, so Do us all a favor: DO NOT COMPLAIN.
175
Why Not Today?
Be glad for what
You’ve got –
A lot
Or not…
Build on that
And don’t look back
Do not complain –
Never explain…
Find your will
Wield it well –
And sometimes?
Say what the hell…
And never just
Say
No –
If you don’t really mean it…
Live your life
Each of us
Must say yes
In our way -
Someday…
Why not today? 4’94
The Perfect Symmetry
(Mind, over the Matter Of Fact)
As in the speculation
We play upon ourselves –
Writing is, (to the writer)
Similar to sex…
When we find ourselves
Not doing it
We think about it; worrying –
How do we keep it
Fresh…?
We never will be satisfied
Simply within ourselves
We need some recognition
From others, and never can…
Attain the perfect symmetry
We seek, without; Never this perfection Will you or I discover, until –
We find it within ourselves.
177
( Signs of) Aging
They first appeared as twitches
The unexplained
Sporadic pain –
Infrequent in our youth…
Yet it worsens with
Each passing season –
And without apparent reason
Time must perform it’s treason…
Upon our fragile flesh, and bone 3’94
Street Smart?
If you can make it on the street
You never should retreat, in
“Po-lite conversation” –
Don’t fret about the books you’ve read Or just what so and so has said…
Street smarts are rarely found, while The wannabees abound
5’94
179
Cancer
A lifetime’s worth of pain
Is seen in just one day
It seems
The nightmare never ends, and now –
On strength your soul depends.
5’94
9 to 5
Some seem to need the constant motion Cannot accept the simple notion –
That there is more to life; that time Need not be given, away
To be spent…
Purposefully; idle time is sent
For us to use, as we see fit –
Financial gain, or not; but realize That as one you have a choice, and
Sometimes
One must take a chance…
Individually.
And take a chance or not
Someone is judging you,
Too. 5’94
181
Suicide
Suicide is one
Poor fucking excuse
When you can piss
In some misguided eye
And succeed
At something
Else
4’94
Pass/Fail
(This is only a test)
Of course I knew the kid
Was kinda testin me
Same as I had done
At his age
Same way
I was testin myself
Against him
Today…
A natural progression
As the confidence builds
So will the need to test
So as the will to grow…
And there
In
Lies the answer…
The difference.
We need to test
Everything around us
When young…
Until
It all comes back to one
And either we don’t –
Or do what must be done…
We begin to test ourselves
Against ourselves
And for ourselves.
183
Human Being
(Things happen for a reason)
There are some who hear a voice
Whose main advice is just
Plug away (!), although
you have, for now
A compromised position, and
Your time has not
Yet come; you must continue
To plod, on anyway;
With or without hope…
But listen! All the while
Listen for the voices of reason –
(Making worldly rounds)
And while you “plug away”
Believe! We all make contributions In our way, eventually…
And although the wait
(Weight)
Is great
Keep your faith
Your life is no coincidence
So do what you must do
Live your life, keep your sense
Of Self, and Human
Being.
5’94
Outsider/Inside
Didn’t make too many
Full weeks of work, when I
Was workin at this warehouse –
When I really probably coulda…
And the other worker bees, there
Quickly recognized the quirk
And tried to sense my guilt, felt
Not even when I later quit…
But others soon realized, that I
As they, did not believe
This was where I belonged all day
And that made a few friends…
We believed in something better
Than punching in the clock
And we plotted our escape
As we rearranged the dock…
As I could not accept, it
I traded in this fate
Because I could do without
The sullen rank within…
So I crawled out to the curb
To once again
Begin
Again
To one time more be poor
-er than the day before
But drunken with my freedom…
Outside! 5’94
185
Eagle Knew
Eagle flew and man withdrew
When we were just beginning –
The former circles with disgust
As the latter proves it’s worth
No trust.
5’94
The Clouds Could Not Survive
At first
I saw brick
Buildings
And sky…
Scrapers, one tree for every
Hundred neighbors, we lived
For the concrete
And asphalt
Smells of summer…
Smoke, fog and
Smog, upon the rooftops
My childhood was sunlit.
5’94
187
Do Your Best
(With the rest
Of your time)
What can be said
For most of us
Is also true
(Sadly enough)
For me…
The endless string
Of shitty part
And full time jobs
Will never cease, it seems
For me…
A master of
The meaningless
From 9 to 5 –
I see, as it is
For everyone else
I just, must
Do my best
With the rest
Of my time.
And nothing else
Matters
Much.
Early Poems
1995
189
Nothing Happens
Nothing happens. Charlie (the
quadriplegic) has been laid
on his side, for a change
of pace...
Montel talks, Rikki balks
Phil & Oprah do their thing...
I sit.
Nothing happens. Don't matter what Reagan did, what
George promised to do...
What Jesus or Bukowski said...
Nothing seems to happen here.
Sparky (the dog) hides
beneath his comforter, Peaches (the cat) lays at Charlie’s feet
head up, ears
perked
eyes
closed
napping...
he's bored, because
Nothing happens! Sun rises, Sun
sets; Beautiful!
but still
Nothing Happens. Tyson is free, O.
J.'s on trial, Jordan has
made his return...
Nothing Happens. Cat stretches, dog joins it on the bed
with Charlie...
I
write, and Nothing
(cont.)
191
Happens.
I change the piss bag, wipe the
sweat from Charlie’s brow
refill his drink, push his
pillow under
his head, then
back. And still, nothing
seems to happen.
We watch the tube
I'm bored to tears...
Nothing ever happens
here.
Or anywhere.
It seems to me -
Anymore. 4'95
Paralyzed (Quad)
Trapped in a body, a pea in a pod
though this will never grow; but older...
Arms are immobile, legs
the same. Faith
is gone, no time
for God
Cannot believe...
Why him?
And why not –
disbelieve? In this moment -
Living these moments -
Where is the space, left
for hope?
for God?
for love? 7'95
193
One Day, Well Done
Tomorrow, I face
Uncertainty again,
But tonight
There is an...
Understanding
That simply cannot
Be explained...
But it's joined by satisfaction.
6'95
Really?
a REAL bad time
has
been rainin' down
on me
and evidently
that's the new
REALITY...
For me.
6'95
195
When there is none
Patient death
I feel your breath
cold
and lonely in the night
alone, I know
But you will not sense my fright.
5’95
Poet Featured Tonight
("**** Mayhew
will be the featured
reader
...
poetry has appeared
blah, blah
blah
...
recently published
a book
titled
"blah
blah blah"
...
His plays have been staged
in NYC, and
elsewhere
...
presently teaching
at Blah, blah
Blah Community college
...")
All well
And good
So I decided
To check it out...
Blah
Blah Blah.
1'95
197
Conversation, Caught (Thought)
"You're pretentious
and I hate
pretention.
You're a man
Walking on
your hind legs
Fine.
Good.
Get over
Yourself.
Thank you very much."
2'95
No One Knew
Used to fill
Quite a few
Notebooks
No one knew
And I stopped
For a while
Recently
Because I told
Someone
And the secret was out
I mean
My girlfriend knew
Or must have noticed
The steady flow
Of discarded colored
Notebooks
Think now, I'll begin
Again
Thought I'd let you know
Or maybe
because
I let you know. 1'95
199
Early Poems
1996
201
Just Mad
It’s to and past the point by now
That I can stand it anymore
The back, the teeth, the constant pain Now life itself has become a chore
Waking hours, spend my morning
Loosening up the chronic back
Then find something soft to eat
To chew with gums that once held teeth.
My eyes are blue, but bagged and dark Within hold something most find stark And quite possibly raving mad…
Or mistaken dumb for numbness.
Falling apart at an early age
I cannot imagine the further stage; if At thirty I have this world of woes…
Who knows what pain the future holds?
I do not seek to moan, or even
Complain –
But pain can drive a man
Insane.
6’96
203
Matters That Matter
It’s not what happens to you
That matters, but
How you react to
Those happenings
That matters.
Aspiring to Greatness, falling far short
The good thing about hearing the band oasis Is that there always seems to be
A very good song on the radio, a littl