BEATA MOŁDOCH
BEATA MOŁDOCH
Copyright © 2021 by Beata Mołdoch
morning raindrops i will choose a house with many windows
to be able to look at the world 4
morning raindrops i always choose a honey in the smallest jar so as not to get addicted of the sweetness
of this substance
5
morning raindrops your skin color
your origin
your faith
your language
your culture
it all connects you with me
you are my sister
you are my brother wherever you are
whoever you are
we are in this together 6
morning raindrops mint chocolate
gives me mixed feelings same as you
7
morning raindrops i didn't want to
to have you next to me but i didn't want to either to see you with someone else 8
morning raindrops don't take flowers from a person who doesn't respect you you aren't someone who can be bought
put the limits
9
morning raindrops i called spring my favorite season everything is blooming and i'm blooming too everything is born i'm born too
i'm a piece of the universe with which i live in harmony 10
morning raindrops your favorite ice cream flavor has become my favorite ice cream flavor
11
what love is to me i closed my eyes
i tried to find the answer instead of this
i felt a void
12
when i came back to you i was making the same mistake i had to learn
how to go away from someone who doesn't even care where am i
13
morning raindrops don't apologize me anymore i know
that you're not really sorry you apologize
without knowing a meaning of these words
14
morning raindrops some relationships they are only good for a period of time in life
don't hold on to something what wants to go away let it flow
15
morning raindrops if you have enough creativity to dream
you have enough strength to act
find an incentive to act 16
is the most beautiful thing which i received
and i still receive from fate the universe keeps me safe in arms
17
morning raindrops age doesn't specify your maturity it's just a number we are all equal
18
morning raindrops the mind i have
i treat like a notebook which i complete every day in experiences
and emotions
19
morning raindrops it's so hard to write in my native language as if i unconsciously she tried to cut herself off from my origin
20
morning raindrops jealousy is on par with desire
of something
or of someone
21
morning raindrops my time with you has passed i wonder
can you know
why did i leave
how much it destroyed me to be with you
22
morning raindrops i want to visit every place in the world which will be safe i want to know all foreign cultures i want to meet sisters and brothers i name all the people in this way 23
morning raindrops you only appear then when you need something you can't hide it
although i can see how hard you try to hide it you fail me
24
morning raindrops from all kinds of flowers i choose this one
which nobody chooses 25
morning raindrops when i was little
i believed
that the stars in the sky are people
who died
i would be a star
which would walk in the sky every night
26
morning raindrops you had a fruitful mind full of dreams
despite this
you chose life you didn't want you are looking for blame in everyone just not in yourself 27
morning raindrops he never told me
that i'm beautiful he told me
that my mind is beautiful 28
morning raindrops it is amazing to feel everything experience it all
which destroys me at the same time and at the same time gives me happiness
it is amazing to live in harmony with yourself
the soul is my home 29
morning raindrops you can't build a house under water you can't build a healthy relationship on a lie
30
morning raindrops you destroy the nest which is home to birds you are destroying the relationship which was home to me 31
morning raindrops you give me that
what i need
while me
i don't even know what i need 32
morning raindrops i put every emotion on paper every pain i have inside writing puts me in touch with everyone
who is reaching out for my thoughts 33
morning raindrops more than of loneliness i'm afraid of you
i don't want you to come back 34
morning raindrops i don't know where i will be in a few years
but i know
that i would like to be anywhere i would like to continue my life anywhere
i want to keep looking for my place and home
35
morning raindrops french croissants
they weren't from France at all i ate them
while imagining that i am elsewhere
36
morning raindrops i'm not just something what you can get rid of i deserved more
than breaking up on the phone who you think you are 37
morning raindrops the role i was told to play is contrary to my values the stereotypes that i was told to follow they destroying my personality i don't want to be part of something which doesn't work with me 38
morning raindrops you add honey to each cake hoping
that the honey will kill the taste of the tears on your face 39
morning raindrops don't be afraid of sincerity sincerity will hurt you sometimes but sincerity will show you the answers sincerity will be your good companion trust sincerity
sincerity finds
and doesn't lose
40
morning raindrops the women i meet in my life they have a beautiful body and a beautiful soul they have a strength they have authenticity every woman is a work of art women are flowers
which should be protected at all costs 41
morning raindrops you can stick the knife into anything else just don't stick knife into the heart of another person 42
morning raindrops i learned to be honest towards people
now
i'm learning to be honest with myself
43
morning raindrops i felt ashamed
looking at my body i understood
how beautifully my body was created for me
44
morning raindrops you prefer to be in place in which i don't want to stay i can't compromise that will destroy me 45
morning raindrops during each visit to the museum i stare at the works of art in the past i looked at you the same way as if you were a work of art 46
morning raindrops the mind he had
not everyone gets such a great gift i hope
that his new woman will appreciate it all 47
morning raindrops i can believe in the power of manifestation
so why
i can't believe
in kindness
48
morning raindrops each of us has a license to possession of a gun words are the greatest weapon words kill us
and we kill by words 49
i'm trying to protect women which agree
to violence by men helplessness
50
i wake up with a different attitude to life
to people
to myself
i'm afraid to wake up every day because i don't know who i will be next day but i know
that i want to wake up i want to be alive 51
morning raindrops i'm limiting salt
i'm limiting sugar i'm limiting your presence i try to hold the limit the border is needed 52
morning raindrops you take her there where you wanted to take me but you didn't make it 53
morning raindrops i can't decide
do i regret meeting you or am i grateful to you for each lesson i'm talking to myself i scream at myself i console myself
i am trying to compromise with your own feelings but finally
i feel
gratitude
but i don't want you anymore 54
morning raindrops people don't have
an instruction manual read their words
analyze their deeds seek the way to their hearts and minds it is the only possibility 55
morning raindrops if i could be material i wish i were silk 56
morning raindrops i was looking for an answer there where no one even asked questions i was in the wrong place 57
morning raindrops you go out in the middle of the night with your friends
who don't care about you at all you choose people
who wouldn't choose you 58
morning raindrops at that time
my favorite word
was your name
which i spoke with a smile 59
morning raindrops you are looking for honest and loyal people
but why
you're not trying to be like that the universe listens the universe sees
and gives us back everything what we give from ourselves 60
morning raindrops and her surname
which she got at birth sounds like part of the face which makes it even more beautiful i call it gold and a diamond because her way of being it brings me joy
61
morning raindrops i avoid places
that remind me of you as if i wanted to deceive myself that's not the way out but at least i'm trying 62
morning raindrops a flower that floats on water a flower that floats in the wind you are a flower
which can deal with everything 63
morning raindrops aware of all its faults and imperfections
with sincerity
i confess
and now
let me just go ahead 64
morning raindrops be careful about
who do you surround yourself with some of flowers are poisonous 65
morning raindrops every evening
i'm having a conversation with myself i get answers to questions i can feel the universe listening to me and supports everything i do my soul and body
it is a unity
i am protected by strength which i can't see
but i know her well 66
morning raindrops i believe in it
what can i see
i believe it
what i can't see
i believe in everything which seems right and good to me 67
morning raindrops you take off your clothes so easily but it's so hard for you to be aware and good 68
morning raindrops you could die for people who wouldn't give you back even one breath
69
morning raindrops a tree need some years to grow
flowers need sun and water to bloom
the earth needs seasons to maintain stability you need time
to heal yourself
give yourself more time 70
morning raindrops i wish i could be able to move away from these people who block in me everything what i love
71
morning raindrops returning to a toxic friendship has become my addiction which was controlling me just like day and night control sleep time
72
morning raindrops i'd like to come back to you but i can't
i know
that it would be mistake that's the difference between logic
and emotions
i forbid myself
73
morning raindrops you need oxygen
to breathe underwater you need strength
to get away from him 74
morning raindrops you are paralyzed by fear you are paralyzed by stress you are paralyzed with consciousness you feel that you falling down but i know
that you can do it give yourself a chance you are able to deal with everything 75
morning raindrops they aren't your friends if they destroy your flowers of which you care every day if they don't care about your flowers they don't really care about you if they cares about you this people won't destroy your dreams 76
morning raindrops you were the only one to whose i kept coming back like no one else
you have ruined my sense of peace 77
morning raindrops i prefer iced chocolate instead of molten one i prefer the brutal truth instead of pleasant lies 78
morning raindrops i couldn't feel at ease with you i couldn't even be comfortable with myself
you came at the time in which i was the most mentally broken 79
morning raindrops he only calls you because he needs a company he doesn't miss you at all but you
you miss for someone who is destroying you 80
morning raindrops do something good
for yourself
your soul needs vitamins in the form of peace and kindness
81
morning raindrops it's not love
it's a habit
82
morning raindrops you're not letting me speak because you are afraid of the truth and the power of words that come gently out of my mouth 83
morning raindrops although i'm not free i tell myself
that i am
i'm deluding myself that it would help me feel more than the wind in my hair than the ground under the fingernails i think i want freedom more than i want another person does that make me selfish or maybe just desperate 84
you won't receive an explain or even answer
you will get bitter words or bitter silence
this must be enough for you to leave and to keep going 85
morning raindrops i felt all your pain but i couldn't help it 86
morning raindrops i gave you everything because you had nothing i gave myself to you because you didn't have anyone who would listen you now me
i was left alone
87
penetrates even the thickest walls your voice
breaks every glass 88
morning raindrops their departure
mades that
i have found myself 89
that milk should only be drunk when it is warm
no one said
that you must be like everyone around you
do it
what your heart dictates it knows what it wants most 90
morning raindrops i'm not ashamed
of my name
and surname
i only want
to find yourself
and my place
91
morning raindrops i can't be more
under your control please
come out
from my life
because alone i can't throw you out 92
morning raindrops i pour coconut milk to breakfast cereals but truly
i don't like coconuts milk
it is just milk
i want to spice up my life in new flavors
93
entwine all over her arms which can't even breathe under the weight of the hair 94
morning raindrops you are taking root in places
where there is no ground 95
morning raindrops you nourish your body do nourish your mind as well 96
morning raindrops i don't want to lie but i still do
i keep coming back to this destructive habit which i am ashamed of 97
morning raindrops you touched me
just by words
and just by looking you didn't have to do anything else 98
morning raindrops i would like you to be happy but i don't want you next to me again
99
morning raindrops you throw coins into the fountain you throw your promises to the wind 100
morning raindrops i envied them that that they are committing bad deeds without consequences now
i am grateful to the universe that he punished me for my mistakes
and bad behavior
the punishment made me humble the universe
is my best teacher and a confessor
101
morning raindrops each flower is different every woman is different every flower is beautiful every woman is beautiful every flower is amazing every woman is delightful let the universe take care of every woman
mother
daughter
creator of life
102
morning raindrops one of the greatest miracle is this that you are
103
morning raindrops leaving this place it scares me
but more
scares me this
that i will stay here 104
morning raindrops the point is
to keep trying
today
try again
if it fails
another day will come tomorrow another sunrise
let the universe take care of your dreams
105
morning raindrops our friendship
was my favorite
poisonous and delicious fruit 106
morning raindrops if they have left you without explaining why you can breathe a sigh of relief 107
morning raindrops i started drawing you first then i threw everything away what i managed to create 108
morning raindrops that girl you have chosen after me did you find in her that what i didn't have 109
morning raindrops you were created
in a unique way
you are unique
your feet tread on the ground which is collapsing under the weight of your inner strength which you accumulate during your life 110
a lotus flower
which is constantly reborn 111
is not owned by a man the woman is a gift which falls on man like a blessing
112
morning raindrops as long as i'm here i send you all my strength and kindness
you deserve
113
morning raindrops i have so little in life i still remember
how much i have already received 114
morning raindrops how a wronged human you have to be that you hurt others you suffer
so you inflict suffering too 115
when i wanted to give up another sunrise has come another day
another chance
it is time to left mine comfort zones
116
i wasn't doing it for myself i was doing it
because society was putting pressure on me
where self-confidence ends the pressure to meet the expectations of others begins
being faithful to yourself it is one of the most valuable things don't lose faith in yourself if your dreams are different than the dreams of other people around you
be proud of yourself find your strength which help you fulfill yours dreams don't give up your identity 117
when i'm coming back to our photos i see two strangers 118
they are clean
like a diamond
your tears
they are also salty like sea salt
119
morning raindrops you can make the other person will be so happy
instead of this
you say the words
which destroy others you do things which make that others are leaving you i left you too
wherever you are
i hope
that the universe will take care of your soul
120
have a limited time before they melt
your time
is also limited
use your time
the best you can
121
morning raindrops my old books sometimes smell like time which has passed
every day
my heart is breaking again
i know i have to go on 122
morning raindrops you put me in a state which i always wanted to avoid 123
morning raindrops i am not iron nor metal i am glass
i am porcelain
124
morning raindrops i'm not going to run away this time from front of weaknesses nor from front of myself 125
was like touching the water and like touching fire at the same time 126
morning raindrops i'm losing parts of myself in places
in which i don't want to be 127
morning raindrops i always make decisions which tear my heart out but always turn out to be good 128
morning raindrops i still can't
to say goodbye to you this one thought
that you will never be around again paralyzes my soul
i'm not good at goodbyes 129
morning raindrops if you want to save yourself you have to forgive yourself 130
morning raindrops wherever you are
i hope
that your lips are smiling when you say her name 131
morning raindrops i need somebody
who will save me
132
morning raindrops she gives you that what i couldn't give you you've found your place and i'm still looking for my place by fooling myself
that i don't think about you anymore 133
morning raindrops even if the flowers wilt and the rainbow disappears you still know
that they will come back stay with hope
134
morning raindrops take care of your mind just the same as you care for other people around you
you deserve good and care too 135
morning raindrops you are like salty caramel i don't know if you have more sugar or more salt
you evoke mixed emotions in everyone people love you
or they hate you
136
morning raindrops every time when the summer comes my heart is falling apart again summer reminds me of you summer mornings
summer noons
summer evenings
summer nights
and summer dawns of sun how can i deal with this and move on 137
morning raindrops i brush the blades of grass off my hair they weren't invited there just like you weren't invited to my life
138
morning raindrops i count everything what can be counted it takes my time
and life
139
morning raindrops you can't stay in place which limits you move on and spread your wings 140
morning raindrops we know the addresses of our homes but we don't know the needs of our own hearts
the closest people are just strangers for us 141
morning raindrops snowflakes melt on your warm skin i'm a snowflake
who drowning in the face of your kind words
142
morning raindrops i'm looking for a person who doesn't even know i exist 143
morning raindrops silence was closer for us than any conversation 144
i create imaginary stories with your participation
i create happy scenarios my imagination is happy but my heart is crying and my mind knows perfectly how i'm deceiving and hurting myself i hate doing this
but it just happens i know i have to stop i know that you won't come back you are happy somewhere and i'm just deluding myself 145
morning raindrops the morning wind take off the lashes from my cheeks
146
morning raindrops if you want to create a relationship with yourself
you can't cheat and hurt your soul it doesn't work like that 147
morning raindrops don't pick the flowers which you don't like at all don't give a hope
to the woman you don't want to be with 148
morning raindrops although i know well that i am just the second option for you i can't give up on you 149
morning raindrops i confuse left and right i confuse toxicity and loyalty 150
morning raindrops what your voice means to you since you can't use it properly you use words that only hurt 151
morning raindrops i'm afraid to see you again i'm afraid to hear your voice again i know everything will come back to me and again
i won't be able to deal with this 152
morning raindrops the universe gives you everything what you need
the universe will give you everything what you will ask for remember about gratitude and about limits
153
morning raindrops i would like to know how do you remember me is it even happening 154
knows about me
if she knows your weaknesses and fears does she understand it 155
morning raindrops you can't get rid of the memories no matter if they are good or bad they are part of you you must carry them on your shoulders through your wonderful life 156
morning raindrops i wanted my life to look like yours i almost lost myself 157
morning raindrops things i'm ashamed of i turn into things which are normal
158
morning raindrops you keep your enemies closer than your friends why are you hurting yourself give yourself a chance for good life you really deserve it leave the toxic place 159
morning raindrops you can also bloom in winter you don't have indicated time 160
morning raindrops you were made for this what you want to be made for nobody has the right to tell you what you should do in your life it's your decision who you are and what you wanna do in your life 161
morning raindrops how do we even know that we love
it's complicated
and at the same time such a simple phenomenon
162
morning raindrops when he leaves you ask him to left the door open allow yourself
to get to know someone else after him don't delete chance for love because that one person decided to leave you give yourself a chance 163
morning raindrops the place where you come from never discriminates you you are my brother and my sister no matter where you come from the whole world is our common home 164
morning raindrops i send strength to you no matter where you are be strong there
165
morning raindrops i thank to people
who believe in me
i also thank to people who don't believe in me it creates me
166
morning raindrops i wish i could forgive them but i don't feel ready i'm waiting for the right time i'm taking my time 167
morning raindrops you don't have to ask anyone for presence
if he wants to stay he will just stay
168
morning raindrops be thankful to yourself every day that you are still here and you are able to deal with everything 169
that you are here
with me
i hold you in my arms like the paper holds words in arms 170
morning raindrops i was so scared
that i will let you down i didn't even notice that i have failed myself 171
morning raindrops the universe knows what it is doing the universe keeps everything in check 172
morning raindrops spoon of sugar
a teaspoon of sugar you didn't see the difference 173
morning raindrops in the cooking recipes the point is to follow them but during making mistakes in life the point is
to learn from these mistakes 174
morning raindrops you called me at 4am you apologized me for the phone call at this time of the day it was the most beautiful way to interrupt my sleep 175
morning raindrops i create new habits in place of the old ones life will be good
and fruitful
176
morning raindrops leave the people
who have given up on you 177
morning raindrops you are like a natural disaster which destroying
and does whatever it wants 178
morning raindrops you didn't invite me to your birthday i send you my best wishes after all 179
morning raindrops why the tears are salty why they can't be bitter or just sour
or sweet
i'm bored with the salty taste 180
morning raindrops how much yet are you able to give from yourself
for somebody
who doesn't even appreciate it you give everything getting nothing in return 181
morning raindrops they shout at you when you cry just like if you had no right to feelings 182
morning raindrops you can't ask for compassion and understanding
if someone doesn't give you this this person has great misfortune empathy is like a gift not everyone has this gift 183
morning raindrops even on the killer summit of Mount Everest
first and last thought would be you
184
morning raindrops the songs you showed me are these songs
which i'm afraid to listen to i'm afraid it will all come back again 185
morning raindrops your heart is listening to you and you have to listen to your heart too let your heart do what it wants 186
morning raindrops don't put sugar in the salt shaker don't pretend the toxic person is your friend
187
morning raindrops you are like a tree which loses its leaves just to give birth to new leaves in a while 188
morning raindrops how am i supposed to believe in yours sincere intentions towards me since you aren't even honest with yourself
it's contrary with my values 189
morning raindrops rumors are just words spoken by people who don't even know why they do it to others sticking a knife in the back of another person
will never make you a better person 190
morning raindrops whatever you put on yourself you will look beautiful your body looks wonderful no matter if you put something on your body
or if you are completely naked a work of art that belongs to you 191
morning raindrops everything will be alright as long as you decide to continue your way through life give yourself another chance 192
morning raindrops some words are like needle with ink hard to remove
hard to forget
be careful what you say to the other person 193
morning raindrops you aren't afraid to disappoint others you are afraid
to disappoint just yourself 194
morning raindrops i can't even leave the places where i don't feel good 195
morning raindrops i lose my hair
in all places in which i am 196
morning raindrops the most wonderful thing which you can do for yourself is to believe in yourself 197
morning raindrops one tablespoon of honey is not enough for you two tablespoons of honey is too much for you seek for a compromise 198
thank you for being here with me.
wherever you are, you are not alone.
i keep you in my thoughts and in my heart. my arms will always be open to you. i'm sending to you my love and hope.
- from the author
Morning Raindrops is a collection of poems and thoughts about suffering, healing, love and hope. The author fights with her own weaknesses and describes them in an incredibly gentle way, as if suffering was our everyday life. The title morning raindrops are traces after the night storm, which symbolize hope after the tragedy in our lives.