to before, now, and after -
i end up
losing you.
i don’t know it
now; now,
you’re my
best friend.
you’re my
future maid of honor.
you’re me
one-day
nextdoor neighbor
who i’ll grow
old with and
drink wine with
every evening.
but i lose you.
those things will
never happen.
but i believe it
now; now,
we can be
best friends.
now, we can
live in the
moment.
mist clouds her eyes.
i kiss her forehead,
but a little bit of
dewy air seeps into
my nose. as the
days go on, my
vision becomes
blurrier and blurrier.
if something is wrong,
i’d rather you
tell me than
cut me out like the
circles and squares we used to
paste on the pages of our
kindergarten homework sheets.
remember how messy it was?
nine seconds
pass until you
finally realize
the tears
streaming down
my cheeks,
and you
still
won’t ask me
what’s wrong.