My thoughts hide behind the blasting music
But are sometimes too quiet to ignore
Like a stream of light in the midst of a storm
Even the gushing wind calms when it passes through
I’m reminded that the truth never screams to make itself known
It’s the hum of disappointment you’d rather trade for a beating
From the parent figure you put on a pedestal
It’s the splinter digging in your heel with each step
That your nails are never long enough to pull out
It stares back at you as you stare at the blankness of the ceiling
Before you shut your eyes ending off yet another day
Being anything but yourself
To make it in a world that has no room for you
I’d like to blame the system, the façade of equality and freedom
Or the endless days of working to use my magic
And turn sheets into coins
And see another month through
But…
My struggle is more personal than that
My hell is freezing
And the road to it was paved with the expectations
Of people who used the thread of my safety net
To sew a blanket of selfishness
And warm their pride from the frostbite of their regret
And when wrapped tight
They call my fall cinematic
As the streets crush my bones like popcorn buttered with naiveté
It makes me wish my only weakness was kryptonite
And that my enemy was too busy planning to ruin the world
Than to notice mine
But no
There’s no superhuman formula against failure for us
Your worst enemy is you and everything else
Your greatest hero is you and everything else
But it will never be all about you, will it?