remember first love?
remembering to breathe
forgetting to hide
aching void that filled up with a rush
and emptied back fast into pain
counting the moments till the next rush
not wanting to tell of it
not able to stop with it
carrying a fire so deep that it charred
my innermost innermost
how did it happen?
how did it become normal,
blunted into routine?
wonder turned into duty
toil verging on tedium
watching the clock, awaiting escape
nothing to talk about
no news to share
dousing the smouldering ashes
in my innermost innermost
can I find it again
that breathless first love,
recapture the first careless rapture?
He has no need of my love
why would God almighty need me?
But He wants it, He yearns for it
offers new kindling for the ashes
pure gold for base metal
red-hot love for cold duty
why not take it? why not?
what is it I am afraid of
in my innermost innermost?