infantile incestuous emotions or early Narcissism as an essential
feature of the mechanism of homosexuality, a conscientious
investigator will not rest until he has discovered traces of
them, as he very probably will. (See, e.g., Sadger,
"Fragment der
Psychoanalyse eines Homosexuellen," _Jahrbuch für sexuelle
Zwischenstufen_, Bd. ix, 1908; and cf. Hirschfeld, _Die
Homosexualität_, p. 164). But the exact weight and significance
of these traces may still be doubtful, and, even if considerable
in one case, may be inconsiderable in another.
Freud, who sets
forth one type of homosexual mechanism, admits that there may be
others. Moreover, it must be added that the psychoanalytic method
by no means excludes unconscious deception by the subject, as
Freud found, and so was compelled to admit the patient's tendency
to "fantasy," as Adler has to "fictions," as a fundamental
psychic tendency of the "unconscious."
The force of these considerations is now beginning to be
generally recognized. Thus Moll (art.
"Homosexualität," in 4th
ed. of Eulenburg's _Realencyclopädie der gesamten Heilkunde_,
1909, p. 611) rightly says that while the invert may occasionally
embroider his story, "the expert can usually distinguish between
the truth and the poetry, though it is unnecessary to add that
complete confidence on the patient's part is necessary," Näcke,
again (_Sexual-Probleme_, September, 1911, p. 619), after quoting
with approval the remark of one of the chief German authorities,
Dr. Numa Praetorius, that "a great number of inverts' histories
are at the least as trustworthy as the attempts of psychoanalysts, especially when they come from persons skillful
in self-analysis," adds that "even Freudian analysis gives no
absolute guarantee for truth. A healthy skepticism is
justifiable--but not an unhealthy skepticism!"
Hirschfeld, also
(_Die Homosexualität_, p. 164), whose knowledge of such histories
is unrivalled, remarks that while we may now and then meet with a
case of _pseudo-logia fantastica_ in connection with psychic
debility on the basis of a psychopathic constitution, "taken all
in all any generalized assertion of the falsehood of inverts is
an empty fiction, and is merely a sign that the physicians who
make it have not been able to win the trust of the men and women
who consult them." My own experience has fully convinced me of
the truth of this, statement. I am assured that many of the
inverts I have met not only possess a rare power of intellectual
self-analysis (stimulated by the constant and inevitable contrast
between their own feelings and those of the world around them),
but an unsparing sincerity in that self-analysis not so very
often attained by normal people.
The histories which follow have been obtained in various ways,
and are of varying degrees of value. Some are of persons whom I
have known very well for very long periods, and concerning whom I
can speak very positively. A few are from complete strangers
whose good faith, however, I judge from internal evidence that I
am able to accept. Two or three were written by persons
who--though educated, in one case a journalist--had never heard
of inversion, and imagined that their own homosexual feelings
were absolutely unique in the world. A fair number were written
by persons whom I do not myself know, but who are well known to
others in whose judgment I feel confidence. Perhaps the largest
number are concerned with individuals who wrote to me
spontaneously in the first place, and whom I have at intervals
seen or heard from since, in some cases during a very long
period, so that I have slowly been able to fill in their
histories, although the narratives, as finally completed, may
have the air of being written down at a single sitting. I have
not admitted any narrative which I do not feel that I am
entitled to regard as a substantially accurate statement of the
facts, although allowance must occasionally be made for the
emotional coloring of these facts, the invert sometimes
cherishing too high an opinion, and sometimes too low an opinion,
of his own personality.
HISTORY I.--Both parents healthy; father of unusually fine
_physique_. He is himself a manual worker and also of
exceptionally fine _physique_. He is, however, of nervous
temperament. He is mentally bright, though not highly educated, a
keen sportsman, and in general a good example of an all-around
healthy Englishman.
While very affectionate, his sexual desires are not strongly
developed on the physical side, and seem never to have been so.
He sometimes masturbated about the age of puberty, but never
afterward. He does not appear to have well-marked erotic dreams.
There used to be some attraction toward women, though it was
never strong. At the age of 26 he was seduced by a woman and had
connection with her once. Afterward he had reason to think she
had played him false in various ways. This induced the strongest
antipathy, not only to this woman, but to all marriageable women.
A year after this episode homosexual feeling first became clear
and defined. He is now 33, and feels the same antipathy to women;
he hates even to speak of marriage.
There has only been one really strong attraction, toward a man of
about the same age, but of different social class, and somewhat a
contrast to him, both physically and mentally. So far as the
physical act is concerned this relationship is not definitely
sexual, but it is of the most intimate possible kind, and the
absence of the physical act is probably largely due to
circumstances. At the same time there is no conscious desire for
the act for its own sake, and the existing harmony and
satisfaction are described as very complete. There is no
repulsion to the physical side, and he regards the whole
relationship as quite natural.
HISTORY II.--B.O., English, aged 35, missionary abroad. A brother
is more definitely inverted. B.O. has never had any definitely
homosexual relationships, although he has always been devoted to
boys; nor has he had any relationships with women.
"As regards
women," he says, "I feel I have not the patience to try and
understand them; they are petulant and changeable,"
etc. He
objects to being called "abnormal," and thinks that people like
himself are "_extremely_ common."
"I have never wanted to kiss boys," he writes, "nor to handle
them in any way except to put my arm around them at their studies
and at other similar times. Of course, with really little boys,
it is different, but boys and girls under 14 seem to me much
alike, and I can love either equally well. As to any sort of
sexual connection between myself and one of my own sex, I cannot
think of it otherwise than with disgust. I can imagine great
pleasure in having connection with a woman, but their natures do
not attract me. Indeed, my liking for my own sex seems to consist
almost entirely in a preference for the masculine character, and
the feeling that as an object to _look at_ the male body is
really more beautiful than the female. When any strong
temptations to sexual passion come over me in my waking moments,
it is of women I think. On the other hand, I have to confess that
after being with some lad I love for an hour or two, I have
sometimes felt my sexual organs roused. But only once in my life
have I experienced a strong desire to sleep in the same bed with
a particular lad, and even then no idea of doing anything entered
my mind. Needless to say, I did not sleep with him.
"I never feel tempted by any girls here, although I see so many
with their bodies freely exposed, and plenty of them have really
pretty faces. Neither do I feel tempted to do anything improper
with any of the boys, although I frequently sit talking with one
who has very little on. But I find the constant sight of
well-shaped bare limbs has a curious effect on the mind and comes
before one's imagination as a picture at unlooked-for times. But
the most curious thing of all is this: There are several lads
here of whom I am very fond. Now when they are near me I think of
them with only the purest and most tender feelings, but sometimes
at night when I am half asleep, or when I am taking my midday
siesta, my imagination pictures one of these lads approaching a
girl, or actually lying with her, and the strange thing is that I
do not feel any desire myself to approach the girl, but I feel I
wish I were in _her_ place and the lad was coming to _me_. In my
calm, waking moments it disgusts and rather horrifies me to find
myself apparently so unsexed--yet such is the fact, and the
experience, with only slight changes, repeats itself over and
over again. It is not that I, as a man, wish even in imagination
to act improperly with a boy, but I feel I would like to be in
the girl's place, and the strange thing is that in all these
dreams and imaginings I can always apparently enter into the
feelings of the woman better than into those of the man.
Sometimes I fancy for a moment that perhaps reincarnation is true
and I was a woman in my last life. Sometimes I fancy that when I
was in the womb I was formed as a girl and the sexual organs
changed just at the last moment. It is a curious problem. Don't
think I worry about it. Only at long intervals do I think of
it.... The thing has its bright side. Boys and men seem to have
tender feelings toward me, such as one expects them to have for
members of the opposite sex, and I get into all the closer
contact with them in consequence."
HISTORY III.--F.R., English, aged 50, Belongs on both sides to
healthy, normal families, of more than average ability. Father
was 35 at birth, and mother 27. He is the second of four
children. There was a considerable interval between the births of
the children, which were spread over twenty-one years. All are
normal, except F.R., two of them married and with families.
Owing to the difference of age between the children, F.R. (who
was three years younger than his elder brother, and more than
four years older than his sister, the third child) had no male
companionship and was constantly alone with his mother. "Being
naturally imitative," he remarks, "I think I acquired her tastes
and interests and habits of thought. However that may be, I feel
sure that my interests and amusements were more girlish than
boyish. By way of illustration, I may mention that I have often
been told by a friend of my mother's that, on one occasion, I was
wanting a new hat, and none being found of a size to fit me, I
congratulated myself that I should therefore be obliged to have a
_bonnet!_ As regards my feminine tastes and instincts, I have
always been conscious of taking interest in questions of family
relationships, etiquette, dress (women's as much as, or more
than, men's) and other things of that kind, which, as a rule,
were treated with indifference or contempt. In the house I take
more notice than my sister does of the servants'
deficiencies and
neglects, and am much more orderly in my arrangements than she
is."
There is nothing markedly feminine in the general appearance.
Pubertal development took place at an early age, long before
fourteen, with nocturnal emissions, but without erotic dreams.
The testicles are well developed, the penis perhaps rather below
the average in size, and the prepuce long and narrow. Erection
occurs with much facility, especially at night. When young he
knew nothing of masturbation, but he began the habit about ten
years ago, and has practised it occasionally ever since.
Although he likes the society of women to a certain extent, he
soon grows tired of it, and has never had any desire to marry.
His sexual dreams never have any relation to women.
"I am
generally doing or saying something," he remarks,
"to some man
whom I know when awake, something which I admit I might wish to
do or say if it were not quite out of the question on grounds of
propriety and self-respect."
He has, however, never had any intimate relationships with men,
and much that he has heard of such relationships fills him with
horror.
"What I feel about myself is," he writes, "that I have to a
certain extent, or in some respects, a feminine mind in a male
body; or, I might put it that I am a combination of an immoral
(in tendency, rather than in act) woman and a religious man.
From time to time I have felt strong affection for young men, but
I cannot flatter myself that my affection has been reciprocated.
At the present time there is a young fellow (23
years old) who
acts as my clerk and sits in my room. He is extremely
good-looking, and of a type which is generally considered
'aristocratic,' but so far as I (or he) know, he is quite of the
lower middle class. He has little to recommend him but a fine
face and figure, and there is nothing approaching to mental or
social equality between us. But I constantly feel the strongest
desire to treat him as a man might a young girl he warmly loved.
Various obvious considerations keep me from more than
quasi-paternal caresses, and I feel sure he would resent very
strongly anything more. This constant repression is trying beyond
measure to the nerves, and I often feel quite ill from that
cause. Having had no experiences of my own, I am always anxious
to learn anything I can of the sexual relations of other men, and
their organs, but I have no curiosity whatever concerning the
other sex. My chief pleasure and source of gratification is found
in the opportunities afforded by Turkish and other baths;
wherever, in fact, there is the nude male to be found. But I
seldom find in these places anyone who seems to have the same
tendency as myself, and certainly I have not met with more than
two cases among the attendants, who responded to my hinted desire
to see everything. Under a shampooer, particularly an unfamiliar
one, I occasionally experience an orgasm, but less often now than
when I was younger."
F.R. is very short-sighted. His favorite color is blue. He is
able to whistle. His tastes are chiefly of a literary character,
and he has never had any liking for sports. "I have been
generally considered ineffective in the use of my hands," he
writes, "and I am certainly not skillful. All I have ever been
able to do in that way is to net and do the simpler forms of
needlework; but it seems more natural to me to do, or try to do,
everything of that sort, and to play on the piano, rather than to
shoot or play games. I may add that I am fonder of babies than
many women, and am generally considered to be surprisingly
capable of holding them! Certainly I enjoy doing so.
As a youth,
I used to act in charades; but I was too shy to do so unless I
was dressed as a woman and veiled; and when I took a woman's part
I _felt_ less like _acting_ than I have done in _propria
persona_. A remark made by an uncle once rather annoyed me: that
it seemed more like nature than art. But he was quite right."
HISTORY IV.--Of Lowland Scotch parentage. Both sides of house
healthy and without cerebral or nervous disease.
Homosexual
desires began at puberty. He practised onanism to a limited
extent at school and up to the age of about 22. His erotic dreams
are exclusively about males. While very friendly and intimate
with women of all ages, he is instantly repelled by any display
of sexual affection on their side. This has happened in varying
degree in three or four cases. With regard to marriage, he
remarks: "As there seems no immediate danger of the race dying
out, I leave marriage to those who like it." His male ideal has
varied to some extent. It has for some years tended toward a
healthy, well-developed, athletic or out-of-door working type,
intelligent and sympathetic, but not specially intellectual.
At school his sexual relations were of the simplest type. Since
then there have been none. "This," he says, "is not due either to
absence of desire or presence of 'morals.' To put it shortly,
'there were never the time and the place and the loved one
together.' In another view, physical desire and the general
affection have not always coexisted toward the same person; and
the former without the latter is comparatively transient; while
the latter stops the gratification of the former, if it is felt
that that gratification could in any way make the object of
affection unhappy, mentally or emotionally."
He is healthy and fairly well developed; of sensitive, emotional
nature, but self-controlled; mentally he is receptive and
aggressive by turns, sometimes uncritical, sometimes analytical.
His temper is equable, and he is strongly affectionate. Very fond
of music and other arts, but not highly imaginative.
Of sexual inversion in the abstract he says he has no views, but
he thus sums up his moral attitude: "I presume that, if it is
there, it is there for use or abuse, as men please.
I condemn
gratification of bodily desire at the expense of others, in
whatever form it may take. I condemn it no more in its inverted
form than in the ordinary. I believe that affection between
persons of the same sex, even when it includes the sexual passion
and its indulgences, may lead to results as splendid as human
nature can ever attain to. In short, I place it on an absolute
equality with love as ordinarily understood."
HISTORY V.--S.W., aged 64, English, musical journalist. The
communication which follows (somewhat abbreviated) was written
before S.W. had heard or read anything about sexual inversion,
and when he still believed that his own case was absolutely
unique.
"I am the son of a clergyman, and lived for the first thirteen
years of my life in the country town where I was born. Then my
father became the vicar of a country village, where I lived until
I went out into the world at the age of 18. As during the whole
of this time my father had a few pupils, I was educated with
them, and never went to school. I was born, I fancy, with sexual
passions about as strong as can well be imagined, and at the same
time was very precocious in my entry into the stage of puberty.
Semen began to form a little before my twelfth birthday; hair
soon followed, and in a year I was in that respect the equal of
an average boy of 15 or 16. I conversed freely with my companions
on the relations of the sexes, but, unlike them, had no personal
feeling toward girls. In time I became conscious that I was
different, as I then believed, and believe now, from all other
men. My sexual organs were quite perfect. But in the frame of a
man I had the sexual mind of a female. I distinctly disclaim the
faintest inclination to perform unnatural acts; the idea of
committing sodomy would be _most disgusting_.
"To come to my actual condition of mind: While totally
indifferent to the person of woman (I always enjoyed their
friendship and companionship, and many of my best friends have
been ladies), I had a burning desire to have carnal intercourse
with a male, and had the capacity for falling in love, as it is
called, to the utmost extent. In imagination, I possessed the
female organ, and felt toward man exactly as an amorous female
would. At the time when I became fully conscious of my condition,
I attached little importance to it; I had not a notion of its
terrible import, nor of the future misery it would entail. All
that I had to learn by bitter experience.
"I did once think of forcing myself to have connection with a
prostitute in order to see whether the actual sensual enjoyment
might bring a change, and so have the power to marry. But when it
came to thinking over ways and means, my repugnance to the act
became so strong that it was quite out of the question. In the
case of any male to whom I became attached, I wanted to feel
ourselves together, skin to skin, and to be privileged to take
such liberties as an amorous female would take if that were all
permitted. I sought no purely sensual gratification of any kind;
my love was far too genuine for that.
"During the rather more than half a century which has elapsed
since my twelfth birthday, I have been genuinely in love about
thirteen times. I despair attempting to give an idea of the depth
and reality of my feelings. I have alluded to my precocity. I was
in love when 12 years old, the object being a man of 24, a
well-known analytical chemist. He came to my father's house very
frequently; and my heart beat almost at the mention of his name.
"The next serious time I was about 15. It was a farmer's son,
about two years older. I don't think that I was ever alone with
him, and really only knew him as a member of his family, yet for
a time he was my chief interest in life.
"When 21 I had a 'chum,' a youth of 17, who entertained for me,
at any rate, a brotherly affection. We were under the same roof,
and early one summer morning he got out of bed and came direct to
my room to talk about some matter or other. In order to talk more
comfortably he got into bed with me and we lay there just as two
school-girls might have done. This proximity was more than I
could stand, and my heart began to beat so that it was impossible
that he should not notice it. As, of course, he could not have
the slightest notion of the reason, he said in all innocence,
'Why, how your heart beats. I can hear it quite plainly.'
"So far my details are purely innocent. Up to 18, familiarities
passed at intervals between me and the son of the village doctor,
a youth about two years older than myself, and precociously
immoral. I did not really care for him much, but he was my chief
companion. Then I became a school-assistant, and for about six
years managed to control myself, only, alas, to fall again.
Another resolution I kept for eight years, one long fight with my
nature. Again I sinned in three instances, extending over three
or four years. I now come to a very painful and eventful episode
in my unhappy life which I would gladly pass over were it
possible. It was a case, in middle life, of sin, discovery, and
great folly in addition.
"Before going into details, so far as may be necessary, I cannot
help asking you to consider calmly and
dispassionately my exact
condition compared with that of my fellow-creatures as a whole.
In my struggles to resist in the past, I have at times felt as if
wrestling in the folds of a python. I again sinned, then, with a
youth and his friend. Oddly enough, discovery followed through a
man who was actuated by