Studies in the psychology of sex, volume 4 (of 6) by Havelock Ellis. - HTML preview

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Olivier say: "Julie is my cousin, which is perhaps a reason why she should

please me less than anyone else. I have always known her. We have, as it

were, slept in the same cradle. There may be people who would be attracted

by this almost fraternal relationship. To me the very idea of marrying

someone whom I knew as a baby is as absurd as that of coupling two dolls."

[188] It may well be, as Crawley argues (_The Mystic Rose_, Chapter XVII),

that sexual taboo plays some part among primitive people in preventing

incestuous union, as, undoubtedly, training and moral ideas do among

civilized peoples.

[189] The remarks of the Marquis de Brisay, an authority on doves, as

communicated to Giard (_L'Intermédiare des Biologistes_, November 20,

1897), are of much interest on this point, since they correspond to what

we find in the human species: "Two birds from the same nest rarely couple.

Birds coming from the same nest behave as though they regarded coupling as

prohibited, or, rather, they know each other too well, and seem to be

ignorant of their difference in sex, remaining unaffected in their

relations by the changes which make them adults."

Westermarck (op. cit.,

p. 334) has some remarks on a somewhat similar tendency sometimes observed

in dogs and horses.

[190] See Appendix to vol. lii of these _Studies_, "The Sexual Impulse

among Savages."

[191] See, especially, _ante_, pp. 163 et seq.

[192] Kistemaecker, as quoted by Bloch (_Beiträge, etc._, ii. p. 340),

alludes in this connection to the dark clothes of men and to the tendency

of women to wear lighter garments, to emphasize the white underlinen, to

cultivate pallor of the face, to use powder. "I am white and you are

brown; ergo, you must love me"; this affirmation, he states, may be found

in the depths of every woman's heart.

[193] K. Pearson, _Grammar of Science_, second edition, p. 430.

[194] In _Man and Woman_ (fourth edition, p. 65) I have referred to a

curious example of this tendency to opposition, which is of almost

worldwide extent. Among some people it is, or has been, the custom for the

women to stand during urination, and in these countries it is usually the

custom for the man to squat; in most countries the practices of the sexes

in this matter are opposed.

[195] It is sufficient to quote one example. At the end of the sixteenth

century it was a serious objection to the fashionable wife of an English

Brownist pastor in Amsterdam that she had "bodies [a bodice or corset]

tied to the petticoat with points [laces] as men do their doublets and

their hose, contrary to I Thess., v, 22, conferred with Deut. xxii, 5; and

I John ii, 16."

V.

Summary of the Conclusions at Present Attainable in Regard to the Nature

of Beauty and its Relation to Sexual Selection.

The consideration of vision has led us into a region in which, more

definitely and precisely than is the case with any other sense, we can

observe and even hope to measure the operation of sexual selection in man.

In the conception of feminine beauty we possess an instrument of universal

extension by which it seems possible to measure the nature and extent of

such selection as exercised by men on women. This conception, with which

we set out, is, however, by no means so precise, so easily available for

the attainment of sound conclusions, as at first it may seem to be.

It is true that beauty is not, as some have supposed, a mere matter of

caprice. It rests in part on (1) an objective basis of æsthetic character

which holds all its variations together and leads to a remarkable

approximation among the ideals of feminine beauty cherished by the most

intelligent men of all races. But beyond this general objective basis we

find that (2) the specific characters of the race or nation tend to cause

divergence in the ideals of beauty, since beauty is often held to consist

in the extreme development of these racial or national anthropological

features; and it would, indeed, appear that the full development of racial

characters indicates at the same time the full development of health and

vigor. We have further to consider that (3) in most countries an important

and usually essential element of beauty lies in the emphasis of the

secondary and tertiary sexual characters: the special characters of the

hair in woman, her breasts, her hips, and innumerable other qualities of

minor saliency, but all apt to be of significance from the point of view

of sexual selection. In addition we have (4) the factor of individual

taste, constituted by the special organization and the peculiar

experiences of the individual and inevitably affecting his ideal of

beauty. Often this individual factor is merged into collective shapes,

and in this way are constituted passing fashions in the matter of beauty,

certain influences which normally affect only the individual having become

potent enough to affect many individuals. Finally, in states of high

civilization and in individuals of that restless and nervous temperament

which is common in civilization, we have (5) a tendency to the appearance

of an exotic element in the ideal of beauty, and in place of admiring that

kind of beauty which most closely approximates to the type of their own

race men begin to be agreeably affected by types which more or less

deviate from that with which they are most familiar.

While we have these various and to some extent conflicting elements in a

man's ideal of feminine beauty, the question is still further complicated

by the fact that sexual selection in the human species is not merely the

choice of the woman by the man, but also the choice of the man by the

woman. And when we come to consider this we find that the standard is

altogether different, that many of the elements of beauty as it exists in

woman for man have here fallen away altogether, while a new and

preponderant element has to be recognized in the shape of a regard for

strength and vigor. This, as I have pointed out, is not a purely visual

character, but a tactile pressure character translated into visual terms.

When we have stated the sexual ideal we have not yet, however, by any

means stated the complete problem of human sexual selection. The ideal

that is desired and sought is, in a large measure, not the outcome of

experience; it is not even necessarily the expression of the individual's

temperament and idiosyncrasy. It may be largely the result of fortuitous

circumstances, of slight chance attractions in childhood, of accepted

traditions consecrated by romance. In the actual contacts of life the

individual may find that his sexual impulse is stirred by sensory stimuli

which are other than those of the ideal he had cherished and may even be

the reverse of them.

Beyond this, also, we have reason for believing that factors of a still

more fundamentally biological character, to some extent deeper even than

all these psychic elements, enter into the problem of sexual selection.

Certain individuals, apart altogether from the question of whether they

are either ideally or practically the most fit mates, display a greater

energy and achieve a greater success than others in securing partners.

These individuals possess a greater constitutional vigor, physical or

mental, which conduces to their success in practical affairs generally,

and probably also heightens their specifically philogamic activities.

Thus, the problem of human sexual selection is in the highest degree

complicated. When we gather together such scanty data of precise nature as

are at present available, we realize that, while generally according with

the results which the evidence not of a quantitative nature would lead us

to accept, their precise significance is not at present altogether clear.

It would appear on the whole that in choosing a mate we tend to seek

parity of racial and individual characters together with disparity of

secondary sexual characters. But we need a much larger number of groups of

evidence of varying character and obtained under varying conditions. Such

evidence will doubtless accumulate now that its nature is becoming defined

and the need for it recognized. In the meanwhile we are, at all events, in

a position to assert, even with the evidence before us, that now that the

real meaning of sexual selection is becoming clear its efficacy in human

evolution can no longer be questioned.

APPENDICES

APPENDIX A.

THE ORIGINS OF THE KISS.

Manifestations resembling the kiss, whether with the object of expressing

affection or sexual emotion, are found among various animals much lower

than man. The caressing of the antennæ practiced by snails and various

insects during sexual intercourse is of the nature of a kiss. Birds use

their bills for a kind of caress. Thus, referring to guillemots and their

practice of nibbling each other's feet, and the interest the mate always

takes in this proceeding, which probably relieves irritation caused by

insects, Edmund Selous remarks: "When they nibble and preen each other

they may, I think, be rightly said to cosset and caress, the expression

and pose of the bird receiving the benefit being often beatific."[196]

Among mammals, such as the dog, we have what closely resembles a kiss, and

the dog who smells, licks, and gently bites his master or a bitch,

combines most of the sensory activities involved in the various forms of

the human kiss.

As practiced by man, the kiss involves mainly either the sense of touch or

that of smell. Occasionally it involves to some extent both sensory

elements.[197]

The tactile kiss is certainly very ancient and primitive. It is common

among mammals generally. The human infant exhibits, in a very marked

degree, the impulse to carry everything to the mouth and to lick or

attempt to taste it, possibly, as Compayre suggests,[198] from a memory of

the action of the lips protruded to seize the maternal nipple. The

affectionate child, as Mantegazza remarks,[199] not only applies inanimate

objects to its lips or tongue, but of its own impulse licks the people it

likes. Stanley Hall, in the light of a large amount of information he

obtained on this point, found that "some children insist on licking the

cheeks, necks, and hands of those they wish to caress,"

or like having

animals lick them.[200] This impulse in children may be associated with

the maternal impulse in animals to lick the young. "The method of licking

the young practiced by the mother," remarks S.S.

Buckman, "would cause

licking to be associated with happy feelings. And, further, there is the

allaying of parasitical irritation which is afforded by the rubbing and

hence results in pleasure. It may even be suggested that the desire of the

mother to lick her young was prompted in the first place by a desire to

bestow on her offspring a pleasure she felt herself."

The licking impulse

in the child may thus, it is possible, be regarded as the evanescent

manifestation of a more fundamental animal impulse,[201]

a manifestation

which is liable to appear in adult life under the stress of strong sexual

emotion. Such an association is of interest if, as there is some reason to

believe, the kiss of sexual love originated as a development of the more

primitive kiss bestowed by the mother on her child, for it is sometimes

found that the maternal kiss is practiced where the sexual kiss is

unknown.

The impulse to bite is also a part of the tactile element which lies at

the origin of kissing. As Stanley Hall notes, children are fond of biting,

though by no means always as a method of affection.

There is, however, in

biting a distinctly sexual origin to invoke, for among many animals the

teeth (and among birds the bill) are used by the male to grasp the female

more firmly during intercourse. This point has been discussed in the

previous volume of these _Studies_ in reference to "Love and Pain," and

it is unnecessary to enter into further details here.

The heroine of

Kleist's _Penthesilea_ remarks: "Kissing (Küsse) rhymes with biting

(Bisse), and one who loves with the whole heart may easily confound the

two."

The kiss, as known in Europe, has developed on a sensory basis that is

mainly tactile, although an olfactory element may sometimes coexist. The

kiss thus understood is not very widely spread and is not usually found

among rude and uncultured peoples. We can trace it in Aryan and Semitic

antiquity, but in no very pronounced form; Homer scarcely knew it, and the

Greek poets seldom mention it. Today it may be said to be known all over

Europe except in Lapland. Even in Europe it is probably a comparatively

modern discovery; and in all the Celtic tongues, Rhys states, there is no

word for "kiss," the word employed being always borrowed from the Latin

_pax_.[202] At a fairly early historic period, however, the Welsh Cymri,

at all events, acquired a knowledge of the kiss, but it was regarded as a

serious matter and very sparingly used, being by law only permitted on

special occasions, as at a game called rope-playing or a carousal;

otherwise a wife who kissed a man not her husband could be repudiated.

Throughout eastern Asia it is unknown; thus, in Japanese literature kisses

and embraces have no existence. "Kisses, and embraces are simply unknown

in Japan as tokens of affection," Lafcadio Hearn states,

"if we except the

solitary fact that Japanese mothers, like mothers all over the world, lip

and hug their little ones betimes. After babyhood there is no more hugging

or kisses; such actions, except in the case of infants, are held to be

immodest. Never do girls kiss one another; never do parents kiss or

embrace their children who have become able to walk."

This holds true, and

has always held true, of all classes; hand-clasping is also foreign to

them. On meeting after a long absence, Hearn remarks, they smile, perhaps

cry a little, they may even stroke each other, but that is all. Japanese

affection "is chiefly shown in acts of exquisite courtesy and

kindness."[203] Among nearly all of the black races of Africa lovers never

kiss nor do mothers usually kiss their babies.[204]

Among the American

Indians the tactile kiss is, for the most part, unknown, though here and

there, as among the Fuegians, lovers rub their cheeks together.[205]

Kissing is unknown to the Malays. In North Queensland, however, Roth

states, kissing takes place between mothers (not fathers) and infants,

also between husbands and wives; but whether it is an introduced custom

Roth is unable to say; he adds that the Pitta-pitta language possesses a

word for kissing.[206]

It must be remarked, however, that in many parts of the world where the

tactile kiss, as we understand it, is usually said to be unknown, it still

exists as between a mother and her baby, and this seems to support the

view advocated by Lombroso that the lovers' kiss is developed from the

maternal kiss. Thus, the Angoni Zulus to the north of the Zambesi, Wiese

states, kiss their small children on both cheeks[207]

and among the

Fuegians, according to Hyades, mothers kiss their small children.

Even in Europe the kiss in early mediæval days was, it seems probable, not

widely known as an expression of sexual love; it would appear to have been

a refinement of love only practiced by the more cultivated classes. In the

old ballad of Glasgerion the lady suspected that her secret visitor was

only a churl, and not the knight he pretended to be, because when he came

in his master's place to spend the night with her he kissed her neither

coming nor going, but simply got her with child. It is only under a

comparatively high stage of civilization that the kiss has been emphasized

and developed in the art of love. Thus the Arabic author of the _Perfumed

Garden_, a work revealing the existence of a high degree of social

refinement, insists on the great importance of the kiss, especially if

applied to the inner part of the mouth, and he quotes a proverb that "A

moist kiss is better than a hasty coitus." Such kisses, as well as on the

face generally, and all over the body, are frequently referred to by

Hindu, Latin, and more modern erotic writers as among the most efficacious

methods of arousing love.[208]

A reason which may have stood in the way of the development of the kiss in

a sexual direction has probably been the fact that in the near East the

kiss was largely monopolized for sacred uses, so that its erotic

potentialities were not easily perceived. Among the early Arabians the

gods were worshiped by a kiss.[209] This was the usual way of greeting the

house gods on entering or leaving.[210] In Rome the kiss was a sign of

reverence and respect far more than a method of sexual excitation.[211]

Among the early Christians it had an all but sacramental significance. It

retains its ancient and serious meaning in many usages of the Western and

still more the Eastern Churches; the relics of saints, the foot of the

pope, the hands of bishops, are kissed, just as the ancient Greeks kissed

the images of the gods. Among ourselves we still have a legally recognized

example of the sacredness of the kiss in the form of taking an oath by

kissing the Testament.[212]

So far we have been concerned mainly with the tactile kiss, which is

sometimes supposed to have arisen in remote times to the east of the

Mediterranean--where the vassal kissed his suzerain and where the kiss of

love was known, as we learn from the Songs of Songs, to the Hebrews--and

has now conquered nearly the whole of Europe. But over a much larger part

of the world and even in one corner of Europe (Lapland, as well as among

the Russian Yakuts) a different kind of salutation rules, the olfactory

kiss. This varies in form in different regions and sometimes simulates a

tactile kiss, but, as it exists in a typical form in China, where it has

been carefully studied by d'Enjoy, it may be said to be made up of three

phases: (1) the nose is applied to the cheek of the beloved person; (2)

there is a long nasal inspiration accompanied by lowering of the eyelids;

(3) there is a slight smacking of the lips without the application of the

mouth to the embraced cheek. The whole process, d'Enjoy considers, is

founded on sexual desire and the desire for food, smell being the sense

employed in both fields. In the form described by d'Enjoy, we have the

Mongolian variety of the olfactory kiss. The Chinese regard the European

kiss as odious, suggesting voracious cannibals, and yellow mothers in the

French colonies still frighten children by threatening to give them the

white man's kiss. Their own kiss the Chinese regard as exclusively

voluptuous; it is only befitting as between lovers, and not only do

fathers refrain from kissing their children except when very young, but

even the mothers only give their children a rare and furtive kiss. Among

some of the hill-tribes of south-east India the olfactory kiss is found,

the nose being applied to the cheek during salutation with a strong

inhalation; instead of saying "Kiss me," they here say

"Smell me." The

Tamils, I am told by a medical correspondent in Ceylon, do not kiss during

coitus, but rub noses and also lick each other's mouth and tongue. The

olfactory kiss is known in Africa; thus, on the Gambia in inland Africa

when a man salutes a woman he takes her hand and places it to his nose,

twice smelling the back of it. Among the Jekris of the Niger coast mothers

rub their babies with their cheeks or mouths, but they do not kiss them,

nor do lovers kiss, though they squeeze, cuddle, and embrace.[213] Among

the Swahilis a smell kiss exists, and very young boys are taught to raise

their clothes before women visitors, who thereupon playfully smell the

penis; the child who does this is said to "give tobacco."[214] Kissing of

any kind appears to be unknown to the Indians throughout a large part of

America: Im Thurn states that it is unknown to the Indians of Guiana, and

at the other end of South America Hyades and Deniker state that it is

unknown to the Fuegians. In Forth America the olfactory kiss is known to

the Eskimo, and has been noted among some Indian tribes, as the Blackfeet.

It is also known in Polynesia. At Samoa kissing was smelling.[215] In New

Zealand, also, the _hongi_, or nose-pressing, was the kiss of welcome, of

mourning, and of sympathy.[216] In the Malay archipelago, it is said, the

same word is used for "greeting" and "smelling." Among the Dyaks of the

Malay archipelago, however, Vaughan Stevens states that any form of

kissing is unknown.[217] In Borneo, Breitenstein tells us, kissing is a

kind of smelling, the word for smelling being used, but he never himself

saw a man kiss a woman; it is always done in private.[218]

The olfactory kiss is thus seen to have a much wider extension over the

world than the European (or Mediterranean) tactile kiss.

In its most

complete development, however, it is mainly found among the people of

Mongolian race, or those yellow peoples more or less related to them.

The literature of the kiss is extensive. So far, however, as that

literature is known to me, the following list includes everything that may

be profitably studied: Darwin, _The Expression of the Emotions_; Ling

Roth, "Salutations," _Journal of the Anthropological Institute_, November,

1889; K. Andree, "Nasengruss," _Ethnographische Parallelen_, second

series, 1889, pp. 223-227; Alfred Kirchhoff, "Vom Ursprung des Küsses,"

_Deutsche Revue_, May, 1895; Lombroso, "L'Origine du Baiser," _Nouvelle

Revue_, 1897, p. 153; Paul d'Enjoy, "Le Baiser en Europe et en Chine,"

_Bulletin de la Société d'Anthropologie_, Paris, 1897, fasc. 2. Professor

Nyrop's book, _The Kiss and its History_ (translated from the Danish by

W.F. Harvey), deals rather with the history of the kiss in civilization

and literature than with its biological origins and psychological

significance.

FOOTNOTES:

[196] E. Selous, _Bird Watching_, 1901, p. 191. This author adds: "It

seems probable indeed that the conferring a practical benefit of the kind

indicated may be the origin of the caress throughout nature."

[197] Tylor terms the kiss "the salute by tasting," and d'Enjoy defines it

as "a bite and a suction"; there seems, however, little evidence to show

that the kiss contains any gustatory element in the strict sense.

[198] Compayre, _L'Evolution intellectuelle et morale de l'enfant_, p. 9.

[199] Mantegazza, _Physiognomy and Expression_, p. 144.

[200] G. Stanley Hall, "The Early Sense of Self,"

_American Journal of

Psychology_, April, 1898, p. 361.

[201] In some parts of the world the impulse persists into adult life. Sir

S. Baker (_Ismailia_, p. 472) mentions licking the eyes as a sign of

affection.

[202] _Book of Common Prayer in Manx Gaelic_, edited by A.W. Moore and J.

Rhys, 1895.