A good traveler has no fixed plans
and is not intent upon arriving.
—Tao Te Ching - Verse 27
As you’d expect from any late-night Miami Uber driver, this one shared stories that could only emerge from such a city. Like the man who casually revealed a baggy of cocaine for a quick snort on the highway. Or the teen who pulled a knife on her mother over a squabble about a boyfriend. Or the gentleman who drunkenly punched his wife in the face over something trivial.
In the midst of these joyful taxi tales, he laughed to interject the conversation with this: “I used to work at this country club, and they hired a former Army sniper to shoot the iguanas! Can you believe that?”
As unbelievable as an iguana sniper may be, I was so thrown off by the transition that I had no response but to blink. I’m not sure if he just needed to get that off his chest or what, but he got back on track as quickly as he got off it, telling me a story about a couple he’d picked up who’d totaled a rental car by swerving into a barrier on the highway. As any rational person might, he assumed they were in need of a lift to the rental car HQ when they called, or perhaps the police station, or maybe even a hospital. But instead, it turned out the drop-off location was a local 24/7 bar that lived up to its reputation at 6 a.m. on a Sunday.
In his heavy Turkish accent, he told me, “Nighttime is not the right time.”
We laughed at the summary of his highlight reel, followed by an awkward pause as we approached my terminal. Deadpan, I filled it with this: “You don’t mind if I do some heroin before my flight, do you?”
The tension grew as he stared ahead, calculating whether or not I was joking. And because I love messing with people I’ll never see again, I let out a heavy sigh and said, “I’ll take that as a no.”
What? I gave him a nice tip.
I know this has little to do with the quote above, other than the fact I was traveling. Sue me. But I thought it was funny, and perhaps there’s a lesson about planning to be cautious during travels if you are intent on arriving. You never know if someone’s on drugs, has a knife, or is an ex-military iguana sniper.
Stay safe out there.