Hatreds never cease through hatred in this world;
through love alone they cease.
This is an eternal law.
—The Dhammapada - Chapter 1, Verse 5
The other night, I spent three hours in the float tank. It might sound like a while, but I became so immersed in processing past traumas that it turned into a truly timeless experience.
One thing that surfaced was some anger I’ve been holding onto since high school. I was surprised to see this incident pop up, as I thought I’d moved through it already. However, this was a slightly different angle of the same experience, showing how long even nuanced baggage can linger in your body if you never address it.
I let my body do as it would in this relaxed state as I faced the same recurring emotions. Often, this includes unwinding in weird positions, certain muscle contractions, or even an uncontrolled (almost seizure-like) shaking of the head at times. It’s really quite strange to observe, and not as easily achieved in meditations where gravity and other stimuli are involved. It’s like the negative tensions are being squeezed out, much like wringing out a towel soaked in water.
I’m continually surprised by how many layers of the onion there are to peel away. Countless times I’ve addressed major incidents in my life and thought, There. I’m all healed now! But nope. More subtle layers still exist as I dig further and further. I guess it makes sense since there are thirty-plus years of life to dig through, but most of them seem to stem from adolescence and the earlier, more formative years.
After being wrung out, something that came to mind was how the other person involved was a “pawn” of God (for lack of a better term), steering me down a path that has influenced the life I live today. I held onto hatred for this person for so long, but now I could see that he was really a brother of mine, shaping me into the man I am now. Without his actions, who knows what path my life could have taken. It might have been something completely different, less desirable, not the same as it is now. In realizing this, the hatred I once had turned into love, and the tension disappeared.