The Master said,
“The gentleman understands what is moral.
The small man understands what is profitable.”
—The Analects of Confucius - Book 4, Chapter 16
I’ve had some wild experiences in meditation, but last night in the float tank was among the wildest. Ninety minutes in, I pierced through a new level of consciousness that I had yet to achieve. The term that came to mind was the title of a book I read years ago called Breaking Open the Head. While there, I wondered if this was what the Buddha meant by Nirvana (though it feels strange to claim I reached transcendence or enlightenment or anything of that nature). I got out feeling high on drugs and even needed to hang around the studio for twenty minutes before I felt good enough to drive. It was intense, to say the least.
One of the intentions I went into the float with was around money. I’m in sales, which is competitive by nature, and the chase for commissions is never-ending, so the pursuit of profit is always at the forefront of my mind. This job has been an uphill struggle for me, while I’ve seen others seemingly close bigger deals with ease. My work ethic, my abilities, and my relationships with prospects and clients are all up there with the best of my colleagues, so I decided to look inward, as I’ve noticed psychological barriers have been the issue attracting other things in life before.
I grew up around frugality, so this was naturally infused into my line of thinking. I believe it was this scarcity mentality that played a role in limiting my financial profitability. But along with (hopefully) breaking through this inherited self-fulfilling prophecy, I was also shown awareness of my unhealthy obsession with money, or this idea of a lack of money.
I’m not struggling; I can pay my bills and put aside savings, yet I’ve been holding onto this constant tension regarding money that I finally released. I’m talking about a major physical relief I’m still recovering from as I write this the next morning.
Will truckloads of money begin falling into my lap at this point? Perhaps not. But at least I can breathe easier and focus on the moral pursuits in life.
That said, the moment I become rich—monetarily, that is—I’ll be sure to let you know.