OK. This is our plan for the date tonight. First, we go to the movies. I have arranged it so that you won’t waste time traveling, lining up and hanging around the area. We are moving fast so once the movie is finish, we will rush to the restaurant where the food will be served quickly. Next, we will head over to the bowling center where there is a competition for teams. Try not to score too low for this one because if we exceed a certain amount of points, they will reward us with a few gifts. Don’t ask why the plans are like this. I have made all the decisions for tonight so let’s get moving now. Oh, don’t worry about your parents’ curfew, we want to pack as much as possible into one night so coming home a few minutes late won’t offend your parents, they are too old-fashioned thinking anyway. Who cares if your dad is waiting for me with a chainsaw??.
A supporter don’t like being rushed from one place to another because they usually lack urgency and like to take things slowly. They are also not used to well structured goals and rigid planning. Don’t put them in situations where they might offend other people.
If you are a controller:
Take things SLOW! They like to have clear options and take the safest route. Take them to places where they can make a lot of new friends and form good relationships. Learn to accept them for who they are and don’t try to find fault with what they are doing although you may be tempted to criticize them when they are moving too slowly or not efficient enough. Most of the time, they are not too concerned with getting things done and they will ask the question WHY a lot because centers around their personal goals. Try not to go around picking a fight with other people also during the date, if the waiter is slow; don’t screw him up because your date will worry about hurting other people’s feelings. Even if you can’t save those few minutes, it will work out to your advantage because your date will like to spend the time with you. Also remember to relate to their feelings because they are more emotional oriented.
If you are a promoter:
It is fine to talk to supporters about all kinds of things. But in the process, you might neglect their feelings because you are too centered on yourself. Do not put them in high-pressure or competitive challenges because what may pump your adrenaline may not be your date’s cup of tea. They enjoy relationships that are safe and comfortable so don’t appear too extreme. They like things to be warm and long lasting so don’t jump from one place to another, it makes them feel insecure. Most important of all, be sensitive to their feelings. This takes effort and can be easily overlooked because they won’t tell you that they are hurting.
If you are an analyzer:
Remember not to bore your date to death. He or she might not tell you it is boring and that is not good. They are also not interested in your detailed planning and structure on how to have a good date because they themselves are not interested in planning. The best way to date a supporter is to show more empathy for what they are feeling rather than giving a systematic approach to solving the problem. Don’t act as if you are too aloof or stuffy because you know so much. Though analyzers tend not to give out too much trust, you must at least appear to be accepting to your date because they need that security as well.
If you are another supporter:
You both can do a good job making each other feel comfortable. Unfortunately, one of you must be assertive and make the decisions or else both will be slow and obliging and might even get into difficult situations because of inaction (such as being late for a movie). The way to win over another supporter is to assert yourself and take actions. Make the decision for your date. Also, remember to shower your date with attention and don’t appear too laid back.
If you do something that disagrees with them, it is very difficult to tell because they will always give in at first. When the pressure persists, they supporter will tend to pout and sulk letting their discontentment brew deep within their hearts. However, you can sense their discontent through the subtle tone in their voice.