CHAPTER 4
The Crucial Question – ‘How Can We Be Sure That We Love
Him/Her The Best Possible Way’, And The Right Answer…
How do we love best? How can we all be sure, we love people the best possible way? Most importantly, when we know love is very crucial for not only self but everyone around us, how can we be confident that love inside a person manifests and expresses itself in ways, which is optimal and ideal?
The conundrum, which is core element of all ‘self-belief’, is always extended to love too…! We are at the first count not always sure what true love is and therefore, the secondary confusion about how to express and institute love in best possible ways naturally is in the domain of confusion and conflict…
Somehow, the primary acceptance for all of us is that anyone’s personality has different elements and all elements need their right and appropriate expressions in life for wellness and excellence. These elements humanity also portrays as Nau-Ras (Nine shades of moods and emotions). This means, any element of a person and his or her personality can and should ride the nine shades of emotions…
This means – this so-called singular element of Love can express itself in nine different emotions (Nau-Ras) – Shringar (Beauty), Hasya (Joviality), Adbhut (Mysticism), Shant (Poise), Raudra (Anger), Veer (Valor), Karuna (Compassion), Bhayanak (Fear) and Vibhatsa (Disgust).
In ancient yoga tradition, these nine Rasas or shades of moods and emotions were listed for the very purpose that everyone should know and accept that human personality is made of many elements and human expression can have so many shades – nine primary shades, which together can create so many sub-shades or secondary shades of moods and emotions. The idea and idealism was to be aware of all shades of emotions, so that a person could be in better ‘poise and in peace’ facing different tough life-living situations…
Now, we come back to our question of ‘how can we be sure that we love people the best possible ways’. Before we embark on the possible answer of the question, we need to accept that the singular element of Love expresses itself differently in different relationships. It is all about all nine shades of emotions being present in all forms of love for different people but some shade may stand prominent in one relationship, whereas some other shade of emotion may look dominant in other.
For example, love between a man and woman may have dominant Shringar shade, whereas between a father and daughter, the dominant shade of love may be Karuna and Shant or even Veer…
From this perspective, we can probably say that the best possible ways to love anybody looks like a state of consciousness, where a person allows his or her lover the liberty and equality of all possible shades of emotions. To put it in a perspective, to sort of put this idea in a ‘definition-jacket’, we can say –
“The best possible way to love somebody is to consciously ensure that love nurtures and nourishes all nine shades of moods and emotions, interspersing some or a set of emotions in proportionate predominance as per the situation of the person we love.”
This means – I truly love my woman when I am everything for her, imbibing all nine shades of emotions in me for her – Being a father-figure, a mother-icon, a brother-figure, a friend, critic, lover, a Guru, a competitor, etc. At a particular situation, in the life-living of my woman, I may shift my roles as father-brother-lover-guru, etc as per ‘her’ emotional needs…
Does this sound obsessive behavior…! Check out for a ‘poise’ and relativity of perceptions, as it is also an artistry – balancing between all shades of emotions…
The tough part however, shall be to sometimes come up as a role of a father, even when she may not be subconsciously willing to accept me in that shade of emotion. I may at times be in the shade of a competitor, even when she may look like in a mode to seek me as lover. Roles shift always as per her ‘needs’, however, not always as per her ‘wants’. This surely is biggest challenge for love’s success. That is why, my woman must also be aware of the Nau-Rasas and their dynamics. Love evolves only when the critical element of ‘Trust’ evolves first.
It seems, if I could optimize the output and utilities of all nine shades of emotions (Nau-Rasas) for my woman, I may feel like admitting that I love her the best possible way. Moreover, important it is to accept with all humility that optimum is always a limit, which needs to be stretched incessantly, as all optimality must always keep evolving to higher productivity. That is why consciousness, this sense of ‘I’ of both lover and beloved need to constantly keep evolving to higher stages.
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